Sunday, January 3, 2016

MAN STUPID! FIX EARTH!

POP CULTURE QUIZ time! Please take out a blank sheet of paper and a sharpened pencil. Put your books under your desk, and no talking with your neighbor! Ready, class? Now fling your poopy at your screen.

WHO GAVE THIS NEW YEAR'S MESSAGE urging humanity to stop destroying the planet?

"I AM FLOWERS, ANIMALS. I AM NATURE. MAN (FILL IN THE BLANK) LOVE, EARTH (FILL IN THE BLANK) LOVE. BUT MAN STUPID... FIX EARTH! HELP EARTH! PROTECT EARTH."

WAS IT...
A) Koko, the 44-year-old gorilla, via a video using sign language at the recent UN Climate Conference in Paris.
B) Al Gorilla... errr... I mean, Al Gore, the 67-year-old climate charlatan and bipedaled politician. It is speculated that Algore's DNA is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99%.
C) Radical environmentalist, feminist and man-hater, Joy Behar. Behar's DNA is totally unique and shares no human characteristics.
D) Ohio Governor John Kasich said this via sign language, wild hand gestures and karate chops at the last GOP debate.

The Correct answer is (click here)

WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG to bring you this urgent disclaimer by announcing that your blog host was unsuccessful in reading his own linked story in its entirety, and so therefore any opinions and conclusions cannot be relied upon or used as source material in any major college theses... Unless you want an 'A+'.

I'd rather watch the movie... (hint: This is really Algore in a gorilla suit)


Sadly, the great ape spontaneously combusted shortly after the making of this video. Sadder still, Algore did not.

8 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

Indistinguishable from a Democrat/liberal.
Sort of a Turing Test.

Sparky said...

I think Ed meant a "turd"ing test. And I concur. ~:)

Jess said...

If the truth was known, the harsh realities of being a gorilla dictates a much saner, more balanced, and logical view of the world than any liberal.

Of course, liberals would disagree, but then again, their insanity demands they ignore the facts.

DaBlade said...

Ed, YES! After hitting the medical maryjane all day... I am... flowers.

Sparky, YES! Even better name, though we might regret giving them a sharp instrument in the form of a pencil and instead go back to them scrawling answers on wall with their own excrement.

Jess, Remember Gorillas in the Mist? How about a sequel titled, Liberals in a Fog? Nah. Too obvious.

cube said...

What? Koko didn't advise Americans to vote for Hillary? I think the democrats are slipping 'cause it would've been a cheap promo that cost peanuts or bananas.

Kid said...

How'd you get a picture of al gore and michele obama together ?

DaBlade said...

cube, Good point. Maybe by the democrat primaries, koko will be driving Hillary's campaign bus. Then Gore will be unemployed again.

LOL @ Kid. I do see the resemblance!

cube said...

Kid: Well, there goes any potential presidential aspirations on your part ;)