Friday, January 22, 2016

Obama gives Flint $80 Million - City Uses $ to Build Waterworld Theme Park

Obama gives $80 million to Michigan for Flint
Washington — President Barack Obama said Thursday his administration is giving $80 million in aid to Michigan mostly to help repair Flint’s water infrastructure and make the drinking water safe.

OBAMA: Speaking to a gathering of mayors at the White House, the president called the lead contamination of golf course irrigation water in Flint an “inexcusable” situation.

I'm paraphrasing, but it's what he meant.

$80 million, $80 million, $80 million, $80 million...

That figure keeps bouncing around in my lead-ladened cerebral cortex. Why does that amount seem so familiar? Of course, living in and around the City of Flint all my life, my brain is so sodden with poisonous lead deposits, my gray matter resembles a 10 lb. tip of a giant #2 pencil.

But I digest.

Ah! The year was 1984. And $80 million you say? THAT just happens to be the exact amount we spent demolishing a perfectly good I.M.A. Auditorium (where millions of folks enjoyed circuses, concerts, graduations, parties, etc, for many years) and in its place erected the Autoworld theme park, an over-sized geodesic green house, complete with a Ferris Wheel, an IMAX theater, and an overhead gigantic model of a car engine that I could stare in awe at for minutes.

The $80 million was well spent, as it entertained us Flintoids for 6 whole months before the park was mothballed and later demolished.

So now we are getting a windfall of free money (from the rest of the taxpayers across the country who don't HAVE gReat Lakes... suckers!) to fix our lead poison water problems. $80 million, to be exact.

Since Autoworld cost $80 million, and I don't believe in coincidences, I think we can all agree this must be a sign, and that the best use of the money is to resurrect the I.M.A. Auditorium and name it Waterworld.

Flint's Waterworld theme and water park would be mostly lead and coliform bacteria-free, and could be a veritable oasis and life-saving source of water (as long as Cher's semis of bottled water keep arriving at the loading docks).

Flint residents would stop by to pick up their Cher water or to do a monthly bathe in the Lazy River turd and tube float.

I can see it now...
When visitors first arrive, they will be greeted by a mannequin in the likeness of Michael Moore. A film will be projected onto the mannequin's face, and the visitor will hear in Michael Moore's own voice the wonders of socialism and reasons why Capitalism sucks and the Cuban health care system is to be emulated.

From there, the tourist can grab some free water and go, or they can stay and catch a wave at the giant wave pool and bar, where Flint residents can relax and enjoy a 40-ouncer from a brown paper bag pool side.

Hey, this could work! Maybe I don't suffer from lead-induced cognitive thought impairment thingys after all!

7 comments:

Z said...

Good post, but this really is so awful!
I'd love you to cover the 'blame' part of it....some feel Dems have been in charge so long that Snyder shouldn't take the fall, but....?
How do you feel about it?

LL said...

Brilliant!

cube said...

Democrat-run cities don't run all that well, but when it's time to blame someone, well... you know.

Sparky said...

Flint, Michigan - Where only the gasoline is lead free. ~:)

Ed Bonderenka said...

Flint used to build cars and you didn't drink Mexican water.
Now it's reversed.

DaBlade said...

Hi Z, I've stayed away from the blame on purpose. Unlike the intellectually bankrupt left, I don't believe this to be a political opportunity like Michael Moore and Cher looking for Snyder to be executed. It's crazy talk we've come to expect from the lunatic fringe. For myself, I don't believe ANYONE involved ever wanted the water poisoned, not even the democrats who have controlled this once great city for decades and decades. Then again, it has been this very economic destruction from the left and the unions that created this environment where we have an impoverished city with the old footprint that once supported an infrastructure for approx 196,000 in 1960 to today when population is now under 100,000. As for timeline of events on the Flint water crisis, I liked this guy's take. That's how I remember this unraveling.

LL, Why tank you! Though your opinion of my scribblings now makes you suspect for lead poisoning.

cube, they are very good at that indeed.

Sparky, Where even the street signs have been filled full of lead :)

Ed, I've seen those memes. Hilarious (and sad).

Re: Flint. I will say that I had the best childhood ever, and grew up in the best neighborhood in the history of mankind on Flint's south side (Lockhead Street Rules!) and I wouldn't trade it for anything or anywhere. We still live in Genesee County today. We could afford to move to some really nice places but chose to stay right here. I'll be here until the day when they lay me in a lead-lined box dropped 6 six feet down into a toxic brown field. Hey, that could be a Grand Funk tune!

Z said...

Thanks, Jerry; perhaps more than "blame," as I asked for, I more literally meant to ask about blame not so much in the pejorative, but what truly IS behind this? You answer the question; Democrats have been in charge for many, many years.
Jessie Watters did get it right...we used to build cars and have clean water, now we don't build cars and have undrinkable water. We're Mexico today.