Wednesday, November 2, 2016

PERVETSKY ANTIVIRUS (from Weiner Labs)

And now a word from our sponsor...
PERVERSKY ANTIVIRUS provides "Real-Time Protection" and defends your sensitive data against unwanted intrusion and prying eyes.

Like most folks, you probably have a private server in your basement or kitchen pantry that you access through multiple phones and devices, AmIRight? And just maybe you don't want your neighbor knowing your yoga schedule because, "what business is it of theirs?!" Well, we here at Weiner Labs have something you want... C'mon. You KNOW you want it!

How PerVertSky Antivirus works:
We put your recipes and yoga emails behind a firewall of disgusting Anthony Weiner Sext photos and crotch shots. The intruder will be so repulsed by this democrat pedophile pervert  (sorry for the repetitive redundancy, we'll just say 'democrat' and you'll get the picture) that they will immediately cease and desist from attacking your data. They may even shoot themselves in the back of their own heads and then drag their own lifeless body to a nearby park.

And PerVertSky is constantly updating the software with the latest sext tweets to children direct from Weiner's twitter!

Here's what some are saying:
"if you're ever subpoenaed by congress, you may forget that you even HAVE a device protected by PerVertSky. I know I did! And if you won't look at your own device, why in the world would the Russians?" - Huma Abedin

"is that a laptop in my pocket or are you just happy for me to sext you?" - Anthony Weiner (democrat)
 

3 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

Take my money!

DaBlade said...

I have already accessed your account and made several unauthorized ebay purchases, so thanks for the subscription!

Ed Bonderenka said...

Didn't see that coming. :)