Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Trump Trolls China Over Taiwan With Faux Takeout Order (and the internet goes crazy!)

Chattering Teeth News - President-elect Donald Trump says his phone call to Chinese president Xi Jinping attempting to order Chinese takeout was a misdial. "I got the wrong number, believe me," said Trump, after China's foreign ministry lodged a complaint over the controversial food order attempt.

Trump has always operated under the promise of “You hit me, I hit you back twice as hard," so when China had a hissy fit over a phone call he accepted from Taiwan President Tsai Ing-wen, you knew Trump would respond in some fashion.

UPDATE: CHATTERING TEETH NEWS HAS SECURED AN EXCLUSIVE PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF THIS CALL!
(the emergency hotline rings in the presidential palace in Beijing. President Xi Jinping picks up...)

***RING*** ***RING***

XI: Nǐ hǎo

TRUMP: Yes, is this Cheeiyna One? I would like a bowl of Wonton soup, a full order of Sweet and Sour chicken, and an egg roll or three. Oh, and throw in a handful of them Chinese cookies with the cute little fortunes and lucky numbers.

XI: MISTEL TLUMP... THIS IS OUTLAGEOUS! You ah speaking wif the plesident and Genewal Secletaly of People's Lepubric of China!

TRUMP: Genewal? Oh, you mean "General." Good idea. Throw in a batch of that General Tso's chicken! I'll have my boy, Priebus pick it up in , say half an hour?

END TRANSCRIPT


Trump is now threatening to build a great wall around "Cheeiyna" if they don't knock it off.

2 comments:

dr hirkimer said...

Donald Trunp is a dog! http://www.chinahighlights.com/travelguide/chinese-zodiac/dog.htm

DaBlade said...

1946. You are correct sir! And one of the recommended careers for Dogs is that of a politician. But I thought the fact that he wasn't a politician was a big draw?

BLOG UPDATE: Trump butt-dials Xi!