Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Crayola Discontinues Dandelion colored crayon And Obama's Memoir is Only Half Done!


Chattering Teeth News - Two seemingly unrelated stories from last week are apparently bound together after all, this reporter has learned speculated... made up.

First, we learned that former president Barack Obama was in seclusion on the island of Tetiaroa in the South Pacific to begin working on his memoir. The book deal is reportedly for $65Million for two books, one each from Barack and Michelle. Since no government buildings have been blown up on the island, we may assume that obama's former ghostwriter, Bill Ayers, is elsewhere and will not be writing this one.

While 3 books have been published under Barack Obama's moniker, this one will apparently be the first he will actually write. This is a risky move by the former president, as he has leaned heavily on his teleprompter and his ghostwriters for the last 8 years.

Then we read this: Crayola weeds out 'Dandelion' colored crayon

"The announcement came Friday, on National Crayon Day. The color has been a staple of Crayola's 24-pack for the last 27 years."

While you may have ignored this story completely, or simply gave it a "ho hum" and moved along - rest assured that this news sent SHOCKWAVES thru the obama's island compound, golf resort and bath house.

Think about it. If you were obama, what crayon color shows up best when writing on the tanned skin from aborted black baby fetuses? Dandelion yellow, of course! What? You don't really think he would approve of the chopping down of innocent trees to make paper for copies of his books, do you? Might as well use a true replenish able resource in ample supply during his 8 years.

Stay tuned for developments!

8 comments:

cube said...

I think that the positioning of these two divergent stories together is brilliant... dandelion should never have been a color in the first place and obama should never have been a president. Kudos to your foresight!

Z said...

Yes, and yellow IS the sign of cowardice...how CAN Obama write a book without it!?
Fun post, DB.
Cube! "Dandelion should never have been a color?" You'll have to talk to God about that! Ha!

Jess said...

If I had to guess, I'd guess his seclusion is his effort to stay away from the pile of straw falling from the house he built in Washington. If things continue, and the pile becomes higher, his Secret Service detail might be escorting him to trial.

Of course, any legal action will happen after they break Susan Rice, and the names start flowing from her like water down the Mississippi.

DaBlade said...

cube, brilliant? Why thank you. Of course, you are now under suspicion and may have an entire chapter of the obama memoirs "I waz pwesidant and e'rbody liked'd it" dedicate to you! so is there a different 'yellow' in the box now?

and I'm CRACKING UP at Z's comment, "...yellow IS the sign of cowardice"! Now THAT is brilliant!

Jess, this is getting interesting, now ain't it? Obama doing his best Roy Bolger imitation and trying to reinsert his stuffing. Straw, indeed! We have another winner! Pick a prize.. anything between the chicklets and the erasers (h/t Kid)

Kid said...

barry has hired me as an Editor and proof reader. So far, I have chapta one. Most of it is Um, ah, well, um, ah.. You get the picture. Should I be honest and lose my 800 billion $ job as editor or should I say Damn barry this is Good Stuff! I'd include lots more um's and ah's !. yea, I think I know how you're gonna vote. As do I.
Cube IS brilliant isn't she?! (trying to avoid the rolled up newspaper on the nody..)




Kid said...

And Z IS Brilliant. Hell, I'm now of a mind that I think Women should be controlling the world... What say you?

DaBlade said...

HAHA! I think we've had our crack at it... Can we lose the Hillarys in the woods first though?

And Kid, I think you have Barry's nuanced and honeyed staccato down perfectly in the written word. Should be a blockbuster.

cube said...

My eyes are starting to fail under all this brilliance.