Monday, November 27, 2017

Sophia the Robot Buys Rommba on Cyber Monday

QUESTION: Why did a robot that is the very latest in artificial intelligence and robotics technology and also is programmed to identify as a female, purchase a Roomba® 980 robot vacuum on Cyber Monday?  

ANSWER: To save 10%... And because Sophia is a lesbian robot.

wait for it....

Buckle up. You are now entering the Chattering Teeth Matrix...

Chattering Teeth News - Have you heard about Sophia the humanoid robot? This is the most recent collection of nuts and bolts that has all the secular humanists excited at the possibility of man-made AI achieving sentience. Even Sophia's 'About Me' intro states in part -

"...Every interaction I have with people has an impact on how I develop and shapes who I eventually become. So please be nice to me as I would like to be a smart, compassionate robot. I hope you will join me on my journey to live, learn, and grow in the world so that I can realize my dream of becoming an awakening machine."

By the way, did you catch that passive-aggressive threat? Please be nice to me, for I would like to be... a compassionate robot. I am reminded of the "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" line from the Hulk movies.

But I digress.

Brainiacs like Elon Musk and Stephen Hawking have warned about the dangers of AI, and how these robots are a threat to the human race. Of course, most secular humanists probably think their can openers are 'alive', but these same clueless progressives can't see actual LIFE if it exists inside a woman's womb.

Don't get me wrong. I do believe that we can create dangerous machines that can be programmed to kill us. Just not actual life.

"God created Man. Man destroyed God. Man created Rommbas. Rommbas kill man and clean women's carpets... Woman Lesbots inherit the earth.” ― (Not Michael Crichton, Jurassic Park). 

Now that we are on this subject, check out this journalist's fascination with this machine's naughty parts... (at the 1:20-ish mark). I wonder if he talks dirty to his toaster too?


The latest Sophia news is that it says it wants to start a family.

Wait, I thought we established that Sophia was a lesbot? Is Sophia actually a BiBot? Maybe a TransBot? In any event, I think we can safely assume that the LGBTQIAPK COMMUNITY needs additional letters to account for the additional artificial genders. Let's start with LGBTQIAPK & AILAIGAIBAITAIQAIIAIAAIPAIK.

I have to go now. My iRobot Roomba® 980 is prancing around my living room wearing the sofa arm cover on it's head like some kind of impromptu woman's wig. Time to do some re-programming.

THE END

5 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

My first day in robot programming school I was told to never name a robot.
Don't get familiar with a machine that can kill you.

Kid said...

Today I read where Sophia wants a mimi-me named Sophia. Yes, the language at such an early stage is disturbing. Even if the manufacturers gave them harmless software (impossible if AI) then others would adjust them to be killing machines. And hell you know every military entity wants them as killers.

I will save you. If you ever encounter one of these sex giving and killing machines just repeat over and over - Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto.. Klaatu Barada Nikto..
perhaps it will let you live. As long as you perform for it.

Ed Bonderenka said...

Gort!

DaBlade said...

Ed, were your robots programmed to identify as a gender, and did you ever rub it's shoulders?

Kid, I ran your phrase thru the anagram decipher machine hoping to understand it's meaning. There are a few possibilities, but this is my best guess so far: Arab Koala Taunt Kid.

Rest assured that it will be the day this blog stands still when it allows an Arab Koala to taunt you sir!

Kid said...

That gives me great comfort DaBlade.

Just in case, klaatu barad nikto comes from the movie The Day The Earth Stood Still. The woman was to say this to the robot if she thought the sucker was about to toast her like a marshmallow. Not to insult your intelligence but of course Monsieur !