Sunday, November 12, 2017

THRILLA IN MANILA II

Duterte & Trump Knife Fight in Philippines

Chattering Teeth News - President Trump is in the Philippines today on the last leg of his 'Kickin' ASSia & Takin' Names' Tour. It is being reported that Trump and his Filipino presidential counter-part, Rodrigo Duterte, are becoming fast friends.

It was just a few days ago that Duterte stated he had stabbed someone to death during a rumble when he was just 16 years old. For this reason, Trump called on HUD Secretary Ben Carson to give him a few pointers in case a friendly knife-fighting contest broke out.

One of the main reasons Trump selected the 'low-energy' and soft-spoken retired neurosurgeon from Detroit to be head of HUD was because he once used his Gifted Hands to stab a bully during a rumble when was 14 years old, and Trump figured he'd some day need Carson's sick knife skilz.

Sure enough, shortly before the gala dinner was to begin, Duterte snapped his fingers and Ninja-like servants suddenly appeared. They proceeded to tie Trump and Duterte's off left wrists together, while crowds formed an impromptu circle and surrounded the knife-wielding contestants. Ben Carson began singing Michael Jackson's 'Beat it" as the two circled each other warily.

Duterte appeared surprised at Trump's footwork as he ducked, parried and lept over every one of Rodrigo's akward slashes. Trump was employing a rope-a-dope strategy by playing defense and allowing Duterte to tire. The Philipino appeared to lose his discipline and began lunging, as Trump taunted him with blown kisses and calling him 'Little Rodrigo'.

At one point, Trump side-stepped his opponent's thrust like a practiced matador, feinting then pulling him into a grapple. Duterte struggled but was unable to free himself from Trump's choke hold. The Donald finally raised his right foot and planted it into Duterte's solar plexes, sending him flying across the gala hall.

Trump ended the contest with his only offensive move, and his steel blade struck Duterte's metal belt buckle and snapped, just as Carson had shown him. Duterte surrendered, and they repaired to the dining room where they raised a toast to each other's health and the continued destruction of the ISIS bastards.

THE END

P.S. - One of this rock-n-roller's guilty pleasures was listening to Michael Jackson songs. Yes, I did buy Thriller on a cassette tape and secretly listened and have never confessed this to my friends... until now.

Here is actual footage of Trump and Duterte's Thrilla in Manila II.

6 comments:

Peter said...

From my perspective it seems like elitist sociopath leftists view everyone beneath them as cum dumpsters, cooks and lower class regardless of gender or sexual preference. Hollywood has been riddled with accusations and confirmations about "successful" people taking advantage of regular people in all sorts of perverse ways, but we are supposed to focus now on Roy Moore's accusers who came out 40 years after the alleged incidents.

At this point I don't care if Moore fucked them all with the same cigar, and smoked it with Augusto Pinochet while throwing commies out of a helicopter. After democrooks kept Ted Kennedy not only OUT OF PRISON, where ANYONE ELSE would have gone, but they kept him in the senate.

The left has no credibility when it comes to moral issues.

DaBlade said...

"The left has no credibility when it comes to moral issues."
I certainly agree with that sentiment. You mentioned Ted Kennedy, the so-called Lion of the senate. Don't forget Bill Clinton or Robert Byrd. The dems have the spectrum covered, from lady killers, to alleged rapists and KKK dragons. I don't excuse abhorrent behavior from anybody, even those on our 'side', but I would certainly give Moore the benefit of the doubt - unlike the despicable Mitch McConnell and his band of buffoons and hypocrites. Had Judge Moore been accused of stalking young boys as a pedophile or said he preferred to use the ladies room, the left would have to celebrate him.

Kid said...

Too funny ! Ben Carson, hahahaa

Ed Bonderenka said...

Carson's tough. Vacations in Detroit.

cube said...

Lol. Carson was a nice touch. When I saw the photo of Trump and Duterte about to shake hands, I envisioned a jujitsu move, like we used to see in cartoons. I mean a knife fight would've been too obvious.

DaBlade said...

Ha! Just call me Mr O! :)