Friday, January 23, 2009

Friday Fish & Chips

A new species has been discovered in Venezuela. A freakin' CLIMBING CATFISH!

A grasping pelvic fin allows this new catfish species to climb vertical surfaces like an inch worm.

WTF!! Trust me. No good can come from "a specialized pelvic fin that decouples from its body and moves backward and forward independently." Just ask Bill Clinton.



BTW, do we really need catfish coming up for air and walking around in our world? What the heck is evolution up to? Call me a cynic, but I don't think these climbing catfish come in peace, equipped as they are with bony armor that protects their head and tail. Warning. DO NOT NOODLE THESE!

Once these creatures establish a foothold on land, don't be surprised when they start employing Spartan battle tactics used at Thermopylae. The bone-chilling "WE ARE SPARTA!" battle cry would instead be "WE ARE Lithogenes wahari". Sure, this doesn't sound nearly as intimidating, until you wake up with one of these whiskered-faced nightmares nose to nose with you as you open your eyes.

Obama help us if these innocent looking creatures turn out to be Samlon.

"Did you mean SALMON?"

No, I did not. If you had to ask, then you haven't read The Legacy of Heorot, by Niven, Barnes, and Pournelle. If you are a fan of science fiction/horror novels, I suggest you run out and noodle yourself a copy immediately.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Must be a distant relative of Muddy The Mudskipper......

cube said...

lol. Funny post.

I've read much Niven & Pournell in my day, but I've not read The Legacy of Heorot. After hearing about this freakish fish, I'm going to put it on my To Read list.

Z said...

SO SO SO FUNNY! "Just ask Bill Clinton" THAT KILLED ME!!

thanks for the laugh!!

RightKlik said...

wonder if it tastes good

dmarks said...

After you read the "Heorot" books, read "Ice Hunt" by James Rollins for more grendel attacks.

DaBlade said...

Good suggestion dmarks. That was a good one. It led me to read his entire collection.

How about THE TERROR, by Dan Simmons? Ice and snow and something else. What it lacks in monster quantity, it more than makes up for in quality.

Linz said...

Oh, come on. It's just a sweet, little sea kitten.