Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Rod Blagojevich Show

Blagojevich Says He Thought of Oprah for the Senate. When this was reported, it caused Oprah to fall from her treadmill, which in turn caused a small earthquake, a tremor really, at only 3.2 on the richter scale.

I have reported that it was Michelle who trumped him on that, because she didn't want the "Big O" anywhere near her president "little o". Obviously, the first lady-messiahette has heard the same rumors as this reporter. Washington Whisperers tell me that Oprah has a huge crush on Michelle's husband. I've learned that her infatuation with the messiah-in-chief is the reason why she is back on the diet trying to shed a few pounds. It would need to be a battleship's worth if she wants to avoid squashing the lightweight.

This got to me thinking, what if Oprah and Blago swapped professions like in the movie Trading Places. Politics for show biz. Oprah would need to beat that impeachment thingy while Blago gets his own morning show.

I imagine The Rod Blagojevich Show to be a cross between The Phil Donahue and Jerry Springer shows, with Blago running up and down the aisles of his studio audience thrusting his microphone in their faces and shouting something like “I’ve got this thing and it’s f—-ing golden!,” until someone puts him down with a blow to his back with a folding chair. Other episodes he might discuss his f—-ing book list or a f—-ing new soufflé recipe.

Or maybe Blago would have an interview segment where he tries to find characters who are more despicable than he is, so he would look better by comparison. It would get boring after a while if he just interviewed democrat politicians. One week he might bring in someone like the coach of that Texas high school girls basketball team that beat another team 100-0.

It might go something like this...

BLAGO: Coach, you recently got fired for what I would call doing your f--ing job! You won the f--ing game 100-0. Was that not good enough for your school board?
COACH: Actually, they said it was shameful and an embarrassment that we ran up the score. I wouldn't apologize because we played the game as it was meant to be played and 'cuz my girls kicked a$$!
BLAGO: F—- them!
COACH: Now I'm not the heartless b--tard they are portraying me to be. I am well aware that the Academy specializes in learning disabilities, and our opponents were girls with short attention spans and dyslexia.
BLAGO: What were we talking about? Oh yah. Your firing was prompted by a parents complaint that you had your girls continue to jack up 3-pointers in the fourth f--ing quarter, like it's a crime to parachute home.
COACH: I thought to myself, "dyslexia", and quickly realized that our opponents would actually feel BETTER by losing by a score of 0-001 rather than, say 99-0.
BLAGO: What happened to the f--ing presumption of innocence?

I liked it better when the wackos stuck to tv shows instead of politics, but they've found a home in the democrat party. That said, I would much rather watch The Rod Blagojevich Show than Oprah.

7 comments:

Linz said...

I'd have to agree with you there. There isn't much that's a worst waste of time than watching the O.

PIC-PIC said...

Hey Blade- Due to the worlds drastic temperature drop during the last 10 years plus the public's growing skepticism if global warming is for real, the Libs have decided to scrap the term global warming and switch to the term "CLIMATE CHANGE". This way man can be blamed if the temperature go up OR down. Algore can make another movie and add to the 100+ million dollars he has already scammed out of us!

DaBlade said...

Linz- an anagram for "Senator Oprah" is "Narrates Pooh". Check it out. I wouldn't lie to you.

Pic Pic- I'll bet he didn't scam you! Bundle up, we gots some "climate change" coming. Or is it "climate hope"?

Steve Harkonnen said...

You know, when you think about it, we really should all be very thankful for Democrats like Blago. He's making an ass out of the Democrats as a whole. this is like, the Dems little circus show here to me.

Chuck said...

Maybe you'll see him and his trash mouthed wife on Cops. Imagine him in a filthy tank top, drunk. Her in curlers and a dirty bath robe. Both outside their trailer having every other word bleeped out. I think this is more their style.

DaBlade said...

SH_ Thanks for visiting. I believe you're right, but who's paying attention? 'cept us as usual.
Chuck- I like that! Bad boys indeed!

dmarks said...

The souffle thing makes me think that eventually he can swap prison recipes and other experiences with Martha Stewart.

Blago can always take over Oprah's "O" channel and rename it "BlagO". It would then become something similar to the Home Shopping Channel where viewers can phone in bids for juicy gobernatorial appointments.