CHATTERING TEETH NEWS - Renovations are now underway at the White House, and contractors have made a gruesome discovery behind a false wall in the Oval Office fireplace.
An emergency team of forensic pathologists were called onto the scene and have determined the blackened pile of butchered carcasses, entrails and puffs of black and white curly fur were the remains of what is thought to be 42 Portuguese Water Dogs.
"Oval Office? More like Offal Office," said one anonymous medical examiner, as he vomited into the trash can next to the Resolute desk.
It was reported last week by golf.com that Trump had called the White House a "dump," a charge he denied via twitter on Wednesday. "I didn't say the White House was a dump, I said that it smelled like ass after 8 years of obama," Trump should have clarified.
Now, at least, we know the origins of the odor.
It is well documented that obama is a long-time dog eater during his Indonesian boyhood.
Now we may finally have the answer as to why "BO and Sunny" never came when they were called (and the reason why Barack seemed to constantly be drawing flies).
According to my exhaustive 5-minute google search, six dolphins were used as Flipper in the old 'Flipper' TV series, and as many as nine collies played the part of "Lassie" in that TV series. Now it has been discovered that the Obamas dogs, Bo and Sunny, have been spelled a combined 42 times in Barack and Michelle's sad little 8-year run.
I could be wrong, but I doubt Flipper was replaced due to the Director getting a weekly hankering for a hunk of blackened mahi mahi.
The West Wing refurbishments will continue on schedule, with new carpeting installed, as well as a proper burial for what's left of the earlier versions of Bo and Sunny. Cost runovers are reportedly required for the dismantling of Michelle's vegetable garden and the safe removal of obama's marijuana grow house and meth lab in the White House tunnels.
Bo (#13) during 'happier' times...
Well Ok then, One More Chet Before We Change Channels. -
4 hours ago