Saturday, August 5, 2017

White House Reno - House of Canine Horrors!

CHATTERING TEETH NEWS - Renovations are now underway at the White House, and contractors have made a gruesome discovery behind a false wall in the Oval Office fireplace.

An emergency team of forensic pathologists were called onto the scene and have determined the blackened pile of butchered carcasses, entrails and puffs of black and white curly fur were the remains of what is thought to be 42 Portuguese Water Dogs.


 "Oval Office? More like Offal Office," said one anonymous medical examiner, as he vomited into the trash can next to the Resolute desk. 

 It was reported last week by golf.com that Trump had called the White House a "dump," a charge he denied via twitter on Wednesday. "I didn't say the White House was a dump, I said that it smelled like ass after 8 years of obama," Trump should have clarified.

Now, at least, we know the origins of the odor. It is well documented that obama is a long-time dog eater during his Indonesian boyhood.

Now we may finally have the answer as to why "BO and Sunny" never came when they were called (and the reason why Barack seemed to constantly be drawing flies).

According to my exhaustive 5-minute google search, six dolphins were used as Flipper in the old 'Flipper' TV series, and as many as nine collies played the part of "Lassie" in that TV series. Now it has been discovered that the Obamas dogs, Bo and Sunny, have been spelled a combined 42 times in Barack and Michelle's sad little 8-year run.

I could be wrong, but I doubt Flipper was replaced due to the Director getting a weekly hankering for a hunk of blackened mahi mahi. 

 The West Wing refurbishments will continue on schedule, with new carpeting installed, as well as a proper burial for what's left of the earlier versions of Bo and Sunny. Cost runovers are reportedly required for the dismantling of Michelle's vegetable garden and the safe removal of obama's marijuana grow house and meth lab in the White House tunnels.
THE END

Bo (#13) during 'happier' times...

4 comments:

Kid said...

Did you enjoy reading how michele had such an incredibly horrid time during the 8 years of the White House, taking multi-million $ vacations, eating the best food, having 22 slaves at her disposal, having literally anything she wanted. I remember times like that and they can be very trying. Can these two pieces of human garbage possibly be bigger pieces of shit.

cube said...

I don't know what to say. Were the Clintons this bad? Um, having humans killed vs. eating dogs & trying to break down our government. If you ask me, they're both evil.

DaBlade said...

Kid, Yes and thank Gaia that Mooshell is finally free from that bondage. To answer your question succinctly... no. They maximized their garbageness.

cube, The reno isn't completed. They may turn up an old Clinton mummy or two yet.

cube said...

I hope CSI in on the job.