Trump Visits Fargo - Ya, You Betcha!

President Trump will be holding a rally in Fargo, North Dakota this evening. I don't know about you, but I can't think of Fargo, ND without immediately thinking about that Coen Brothers movie by the same name. And when I think of the movie Fargo, my mind's eye conjurs the bloody wood chipper scene. If you've seen the movie before, so do you.

Even their hometown newspaper The Red River Vally News apparently equates Trumps visit with that “Eager Beaver” backyard wood chipper, as evidenced by this headline:

Fargo is buzzing as Trump makes his appearance in North Dakota

"Buzzing"? Really? Hmmmm... What else "buzzes"? Bees. Flies. Alarm clocks... "You in the back there!"

"uhhh... wood chippers?"

A Kewpie Doll for the crazy scruffy dude wearing the Trapper hat and bloody plaid coat.

Come to think of it, 20,000 Trump supporters in the parking lot waiting for the Scheels Arena doors to open would also make quite the buzzing noise. I highly encourage Mad Auntie Maxine Waters to show up here tonight and harrass them. Why not? Why bother picking us off one at a time at the local gas station, restaurant or shopping mall when you can confront so many at one time?

“Uff da!”

Red Hen Restaurant Just One Year Later - You Won't Believe Your Eyes!

Like I said over at cube's place: If a large gay lesbian couple wanted to go into a bakery and buy them out of all their bake goods, the baker should have sell to them. However, the baker should not be forced to use his art talents in promoting their grotesque hobby in frosting.

The only way this is comparable to the Red Hen kicking Sarah out of the restaurant would be if Sarah used her God-given talents and forced the wait staff to sit in front of her dinner podium while she verbally slapped them around during dessert.

TIME Mag's Latest Cover Correction

Crying Time magazine subscribers beg to be reunited with the truth.

"Ok, Donald. Listen, listen, listen... "Donald, honey, just listen."

Won't you PLEASE help reunite this poor Guatemala immigrant child with his cupcake?

Here's a preview of next month's cover: If we build a wall, who will pick our lettuce and mow our lawns?

No, I really don't care for the Fake News statist media

Melania wears rain coat with "I REALLY DON'T CARE, DO U?" written on the back in big white graffiti lettering and the leftists are having a field day mocking her. Fake news is reporting this to be evidence for Melania's lack of empathy toward illegal crumb crunchers. The president tweeted it was actually a message directed at Fake news CNN. If that were the case, a huge graphic of a middle finger would suffice. Nobody in their right mind really believes Melania doesn't love children. And somewhere, the nut job Rachel Maddow gently weeps.

THIS JUST IN!!! ANOTHER CHATTERING TEETH EXCLUSIVE!
Hilery (sic) visits Planned Parenthood Flea Market trafficking in the selling of baby parts while wearing a Plus Sized Hoodie with "Another One Bites the Dust" on the front to criticize Melania's stilettos.

The longest day

"On summer solstice eve, the Great Gaia rises out of her Kale patch and flies through the air with her bag of gender neutral toys for all the little purple penguins. She also leaves free condoms and rape whistles in all the stockings left hung by the incense burner. Wouldn't you like to dance naked with me by the bonfire in the Kale patch on summer solstice eve and wait for the Great Gaia?"

LINUS: "But isn't the summer solstice the longest day of the year, meaning Donald J Trump will be YOUR president LONGER today than any other day?"

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Separation of families

Let me see if I am following the fake news cycle correctly. I am supposed to get worked up and blame Trump over children being temporarily separated from their law-breaking, border-jumping illegal alien parents? I need to have Hilery (sic) of all people read me bible verses?

Let's look at some other instances of family separation caused by the left's policies for a little contrast.

One in four pregnancies ends in an abortion each year. The largest abortion provider in America, Planned Parenthood aborts about 320,000 unborn babies a year, or about 876 per day. Every one of these dismembered and murdered babies are separated from their families before day one.

Almost half of all babies born in the United States are born out of wedlock, with the majority of those children starting life with separation of the family at day one.

Of all children born to married parents this year, fifty percent will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18th birthday. About 40% of children who do not live with their biological father have not seen him during the past 12 months; more than half of them have never been in his home and 26% of those fathers live in a different state than their children.

Of those left, there are 2.7 million minor children who have a parent in jail or prison, or 1-in-28 American children (3.6%) have an incarcerated parent.

IN CONCLUSION, the left are not only batshit crazy, but pure evil. I hates them Mr. Baginsesss.

Cruz Crushes Cryin' Kimmel

CHATTERING TEETH NEWS - All 3 of Cryin' Jimmy Kimmel's regular viewers to his little late night bitch sessions were treated to days and days of bad-natured trash talk about Ted Cruz leading up to the Blobfish Basketball Classic matchup. After almost 2 hours (including Jimmy's "cry break time outs) Ted cruised to an easy 11-9 victory

“The reason this happened is because I called Cruz a blobfish,” Kimmel whined. “And he did not like that … so he challenged me to a charity game of one-on-one and he proceeded to spank me repeatedly up and down the floor.

Not sure how I lost. I worked on my game with the former president for weeks!

JOKES FOR RADICALS

Henry: The IG report shows foreign actors gained access to your emails...

Hilery (sic): Who, like Ingrid Bergman or Gérard Depardieu or something?

Get more "Hill-arity" like this from her new book from Chatteringteeth Press

WHO'S THE WILD MAN NOW!?

Giuliani calls for suspension of Mueller's probe

Ruuuuuudy...
Ruuuudy... Ruuuudy... 
Ruuudy... Ruuudy... Ruuudy...

Ruudy... Ruudy... Ruudy...

Rudy!... Rudy!... Rudy!...

Democrat congressional hopeful wants to train teachers how to disable themselves with pepper spray

 US POLITICIAN PEPPER SPRAYS HIMSELF IN CALL TO END SCHOOL SHOOTINGS

A US Congress candidate has pepper sprayed himself to demonstrate how teachers could protect against school shootings if they had “non-lethal defence tools in every classroom”.  Levi Tillemann, a Democrat candidate in Colorado, says there needs to be legislation to protect children in schools.  “I am calling on congress to pass legislation to place secure a can of high-power pepper spray inside a ‘break glass in case of emergency’ box in every classroom in the country and train teachers how to use this powerful self-defence tool,” he said.

OK, I have to admit that this dude may be on to something. As I watched this crazy person spray himself in the eyes with pepper spray.

I was memorized MESMORIZED (thanks cube) by the depths of his total, utter and complete ignorance. 

I was distracted and forgot what I was doing, as he dunked his head repeatedly in a bucket of sudsy water. Imagine if an entire classroom of kids sprayed themselves in their own eyes when confronted with an evildoer. This would be way more effective than an armed response, don't you agree?
 
 “It’s incredibly painful, and now I just can’t see anything.  It’s just unbearable, it’s like lava in your eyes.”

You might get the same painful response with posters of Hillary on every door entrance during school hours.

THE END

Robert De Niro exchanged for secret family Kimchi recipe

Summit in Singapore off to a great start. 

Bob De Nada and the Hollywood leftists attack President Trump while he is on foreign soil

Is anyone surprized that Robert De Niro says ‘F— Trump’ at Tony Awards (while our president is in Singapore in advance of dangerous negotiations regarding NK nuclear weapons), and gets a standing ovation? What I found odd was that there was actually another Hollywood awards show. Do they have these every weekend now?

So Bob De Nada was apparently introducing fellow leftist commie Bruce Springsteen to perform a song. Did Samantha Bee open with her so-called comedy routine of c-word insults directed at our first lady? Was this followed up by Michael Moore reading poetry?

Think about this. This douchebag's Trump derangement routine was captured by scores of broadcast professionals on state=of-the-art cameras and microphones and relayed over multi-million dollar satellites in Geo synchronous orbit and over a vast network of underground fiber-optic cables to TV sets all over the globe and enjoyed by approximately 3 viewers. The majority of the rest of us were either watching the Food network or clipping our toe nails.

Well, at least the Hollywood audience of leftist communist progressive C----s and dumbf----s enjoyed it.



Fav comments from linked article (and only reason to even click it):
>>>F#@K DeNiro.

>>>and just like that, I am gong to vote Trump from this point on, I have always been a liberal and voted for Obama but these relentless nasty and vulgar attacks has made me sick of these celebs that continue to act like toddlers throwing tantrums. It is not classy and exasperating to hear day in and day out.

>>>De Niro doesn’t realize he will never be in a hit movie for the rest of his life. Never.

>>>That’s saying exactly “f*** half of America, f*** elections, and f*** our constitution”.

In other news:
Donald Trump And Kim Jong Un Lookalikes Hold 'Summit' In Singapore

SINGAPORE: While access to the historic summit between US President Donald Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un will be tightly restricted, hundreds of Singaporeans got the next best thing on Saturday when two lookalikes showed up at a downtown mall.

"JUST SAY NEIGH" to Horseycide

Chattering Teeth News - 2015 Breeders' Cup and Triple Crown Winner American Pharoah was found hung in his stall (at least that's what the ladies said) dead at the age of 6. 

Empty bottles of cheap Kentucky bourbon were found scattered among the hay bales, and medical examiners' preliminary results reflect he may have also overdosed on horse tranquilizers.

"¿por qué?," asked Juan Amillio Rodriguez Chalupa Sanchez Diablo, American Pharoah's press secretary and shit-shoveler. "Maybe he jus' miss the midget show racing circuit." 

American Pharoah's death by his own hoof comes on the heels of the 2018 Belmont Stakes where Thoroughbred racehorse Justify becomes just the 13th Triple Crown winner, and first since AP won in 2015 breaking a 37-year drought. Maybe he was just jealous and sad that the little people no longer rode him in circles, and nobody draped him with flowers wreaths anymore.

The Foundation for Horseycide Prevention recommends that stalls "JUST SAY NEIGH" and have a muted response to horseycide, because other horses may be attracted to the idea of getting recognition or gratification in death.

"These celebrity horseycides, while tragic, should be shunned and ignored like school shooters," stated DaBlade, veteran jockey of area supermarket coin operated kiddie horses. "I wish I could still  take a quick Penny Pony ride at the grocery store now and again, but there are those restraining orders to worry about."

American Pharoah had no reason to be sad that his career 'stalled' as he had been getting plenty of tail in his retirement with him earning a stud fee of about $200,000 per pop. He leaves hundreds of mares in foal to cherish his memory.

A memorial service will be held at 11:00 a.m. tomorrow at the ACME Glue Factory. In lieu of a flower necklace, send me a bottle of Old Grand-dad.

stream of unconsciousness

QUERY OF THE DAY: How many more celebrities and/or fashion designers must die by their own hand before I've actually ever heard of one of them? 

SPORTS TIP: Lebron James and his sidekick Cavs lose this year's basketball trophy. The consolation prize invitation to the Waffle House has been rescinded because he won't just shut up and dribble the syrup. Go home, Lebron. You're dunked.



WHEN HEADLINES ATTACK!: 
Gator sought after report of possible attack in Florida park

Gator "sought"? What an odd word to use in relation to a gator. 
BOLO: Be On The Lookout for a reptile on the loose and reportedly wearing a hard leather-like hide, dark sunglasses and driving a 1971 Gremlin. He should be considered armed and dangerous.

TRUMP NEWS: Trump says he will ask NFL players who kneel during National Anthem for a list of those they feel should be pardoned and he will read their application. Way to call their bluff, Donald. I'm sure this was met with confused and vacant stares by these leftist America-hating kneel-baggers. This is the equivalent of Trump "pulling the chair" and watching them fall on their asses.

Sad news from Fox News commentator Charles Krauthammer stating he only has weeks to live. He would often frustrate me with his analysis as well as getting me to nod in agreement the next segment. A good man that will be missed when he's gone. When Joe Biden heard this, he shouted, "Stand up, Chuck! Stand up and let 'em see ya!"

LASTLY, THE RODMAN ADVANTAGE?
“I will be flying to Singapore for the historical Summit. I’ll give whatever support is needed to my friends, @realDonaldTrump and Marshall Kim Jong Un,” Rodman said in a Twitter post.

It's probably no surprize that I have a soft spot for Dennis (side margin) and that I will always give him the benefit of the doubt. Even if no progress is made, you have to tip your MAGA cap at his willingness to try. God Bless you Worm, and good luck!

Dear Philadelphia Eagles football team

The letter Trump should pen in response to this.

Dear Philadelphia Eagles football team,

Congratulations on winning a trophy for a game you are paid millions of dollars to play. People pay lots of money to watch you throw and catch and kick and run with an oblong ball. They buy an over-price ticket or tune in on TV for escapism. They want to get away from the divisive polical climate permeating every nook any crannny of our society. They get their fill of pampered social justice warriors and America-hating snow flakes the rest of the week. The last thing most of these loyal fans want to see during the playing of our National Anthem. are these haters kneeling and disrespecting our country, our military, hot dogs and apple pie.

Your invitation to the White House was based on a long standing tradition to reward sports teams for winning a championship. A nice photo op for all, a tour of the White House and a nice little mini vacation for your team. But your jackass owner and Hillary donor Jeff Lurie had other ideas. Instead of leaving politics at the door, he wanted the visit to be an “opportunity to engage in productive dialogue with the leaders of our country."  I don't think so. Hey Lurie! Take off the pink pussy hat and step away from the gay wedding cake.  You have proven yourself incapable of productive dialogue and most of these kneel-bagging SJW players border on incoherence.

Therefore, when I heard that only a small number of players were planning to come to the White House in an attempt to make a statement or to try to embarrass me, I had to cancel. Instead, there will be a ceremony for a group of 1,000 fans who deserved better by tour franchise and your city.  

I was very much looking forward to being there with you. Sadly, based on the tremendous anger and open hostility displayed by the team ownership and by your Mayor, Silly Jim Kenney,  I feel it is inappropriate, at this time, to have this long-planned meeting.

You like to talk smack and throw insults my way, just keep in mind that my nuclear capabilities are so massive and powerful that I pray to God they will never have to be used.

Sincerely yours,
Donald J. Trump
President of the United States of America