Saturday, February 11, 2017

This little piggy cried, "wee wee wee wee"

Europe may have become a hotbed for radical Islam with the huge influx of Muslims over the last two decades, but that is no reason why their city alleys and shadowy doorways have to become "hot and steamy" beds, if you're picking up what I'm laying down.

Public urination is a huge problem in France. With that in mind, French designers introduce an attractive, civilized, eco-friendly and aesthetically pleasing way for men to seek relief when they've REALLY got to go!

I see London, I see France. No more soiled underpants!


...as immigrants hole up in hovels outside major cities., the mother nature network reports:
Paris gives compost-generating public urinals a 'dry' run
Based on the effectiveness of the test runs in Paris and in Nantes, the duo’s attractive, low-odor dry urinals could potentially become a staple in not just French cities but anywhere where men, inebriated or not, have rudely unzipped and left their mark.

“Beyond the terrible smell, urine degrades lamp posts and telephone poles, damages cars, pollutes the Seine and undermines everyday life of a city. Cleaning up wastes water, and detergents are damaging for the environment.”

One of the most dramatic examples of the damage that unchecked public urination can have on the built environment comes not from France but from Germany where the mighty sandstone walls of Ulm Minister, the tallest church in the world, are eroding due to the frequent spray of intoxicated wildpinklers.–


Whether you see refugees or invaders, there is no good reason why the city's streets and gutters don't effuse the refreshing scent of eucalyptus or orange peel.



Oui oui, Paris is using wee-wee to make its public green spaces all the more healthy and beautiful. 

Whether you're a member of a "sleeper cell" or just a full-bladdered lone wolf, when you gots to go, you gots to go! 

I am doubtful these urinal planters will actually work as designed. The good news is that, with a simple and inexpensive addition of sheep posters above each unit, the vermin lines will likely snake all the way around the corner! 

"HEY MOHAMMID! GIVE THE REST OF US A TURN!"



I do have another idea (actually spawned from an old idea) of talking urinal cakes.


But rather than trying to convince the inebriated urinal patron to call for a cab, it could broadcast the islamic call to prayer. 

PICTURED: A Ninth Circuit Judge citing his sources.

THE END

6 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

I remember seeing a public urinal on a street corner in Florence Italy in the 70's.
White porcelain.

Kid said...

Haha, Tell that guy they're not just big mints.

I have a friend who lived in Paris, and was told they'd turn a corner and there would be a man in a suit taking a pitstop and pissing on the side of a building. I've not been to France. I had some friends who went to France, jsut the other side of the Channel, and they said France was the dirtiest non-hygenic place they'd ever been.

Ooooooooooooooooh France....

DaBlade said...

Ed, are you sure that wasn't a potted plant?

Kid, You make a compelling case, but I still don't have any desire to visit there. I can't help but think about the romanticized plans of youngsters to "back pack across Europe." They never tell you that you should wear a diaper under your chest-high rubber fishing waders.

Kid said...

I spent 9 months in England (Northampton) in 1990 working a project. While it was a pretty good time (I was on expenses) I have No desire to go back to anywhere in Europe and that was long before the savages made themselves known.

dr hirkimer said...

Gives new meaning to the term, piss on France.

DaBlade said...

kid, It always helps when on the company dime. If there was a next time, I'm thinking a kevlar trench coat and the Stadium Pal.

'good' doctor, isn't your surname of French orientation? I tried the surname origin generators and am getting mixed results. I'm beginning to sspect you of being mixed breed...