Thursday, May 14, 2020

Top Barber Criminals in History

The latest in the saga of the Owosso, Michigan barber who reopened his shop and refused to close despite state shutdown orders has had his license suspended by the State.

I think the main takeaway I learned from this story is the fact that barbers are licensed. I did not know that. I once had a young gal over at Quick Clips cut my hair who should have been arrested for scissors swerving in traffic. Ba-dum bum.
Pictured: Owosso cop tickets barber for failure of clippers to properly yield at the cop's left ear roundabout. Now he has to use a thumb tack to hold his scardey mask on.

Actually, this occifer of the law was delivering a ticket and a finger wag to this elderly businessman because his practice of being in the proximity of 7 customers within 8 hours IS WAY MORE DANGEROUS than the teenage bag clerk who comes in proximity to hundreds of patrons in half that time at the grocery checkout just down the street.

In any case, more court proceedings are in the future for this poor victim of State overreach.
JUDGE:I want a crew cut! 

More protesters planning to gather outside Michigan's capitol again today. Maybe they should all bring clippers as well as their "assault weapons" and trim each other's doo in the parking lot. THAT would really set these occifers off.


Jack the Ripper may have been Polish barber Aaron Kosminski

(He was never ticketed)


  1. Sweeney Todd!
    Gotta work in a pun about a close shave.

    1. I must admit my ignorance for never having heard the ballad of sweeny todd before. This is why i allow audience participation. Ed +1

  2. 50 open carry at the rally, one axe.
    Maybe he couldn't afford a gun.
    No arrests.
    Maybe you're right, they should have carried shears.
    Or straight razors.

  3. Lizzy Borden was there? Dang i knew i should have gone

  4. We don't have criminal barbers in Florida ... well, not since we legalized mind-expanding drugs for personal use. Getting a haircut where I live is an exciting experience. One never knows how it will turn out.

    Kid dated Lizzy Borden back in his horney days. He'll deny it, of course ...

    1. I KNEW he had a wildass look in his eyes... and that mirthless smile that never quite reaches his bloodshot orbs. And what’s with all those cats that seem to orbit around him?

      Btw which side of fla do you live? Or do you just live in the swamp wrestling gators and snakes?

  5. Hair dressers need a license? Well, of course it is another avenue for stealing money by politicians.

    Mustang - Lizzy Borden was "the one that got away". Damn she was fun.

    Why did the militia not keep that cop our of the barber shop?

    Why was governor Whitmer allowed to purchase a vibrator with extra battery power?

    Why is Mr Blade obsessed with cats, gators, and snakes? Cats win in all cases btw.

    Does nana pelosi spit her dentures across the room when she gives herself an orgasm?

    Well, it just gets more stupid and toxic from here...

  6. HahaThere you are! All excellent questions. Just drinkin the water over he he here

  7. @Jerry

    The Blue Angels do touch and go’s on my front lawn. Lawsuit pending of course. Damn squids. If I win the case I’ll split the winnings with you 50/50 cuz that’s the kind of stand up guy I am. Um ... if you want to kick in ten thou to keep the case going I can send you my address. Certified checks only please. I’ll even take more than ten thou if you want ... cuz I’m a stand up guy.

    1. I want 10 Purrcent of that act action.

      - Kid