and democrats are still confused by the question, "What is a woman?".
That's right, I am coming out of semi-self-imposed retirement of driveling to once again give you the news as I see it (complete with an overuse of hypens, parenthesis and misplaced comas). Don't worry though. I won't prattle on and on with pure, unadulterated nonsense for 25 hours straight hours like Cory Booker did this week on the senate floor. My blather will be much more concise (and not require a senate floor "mop and shine" if you get my drift).
Before we get started, I need to cover a few items to boost my social credit score.
My name is Jerry. My pronouns are MAGA and mashed potatoes (because what right-minded person doesn't love either?)
I would also like to begin my post today by acknowledging that the internet on which I blog is the occupied traditional information highway territory of the Al-Gore-quin peoples. Despite their claims, The Al-Gore-quin did not invent the internets, but merely massacred the facts and claimed it for their own. Side note - Chief Clinton of the Al-Gore-quins was known to get Pawnee with any Chickshesaw (including the Navajo and HillaryHos). Of course they were followed by the Obamanation tribe and the Joe Biden Dog-faced Pony Soldiers, all horrible stewards of this coutry from The Gulf of America and all the way to our cherished 51st State of Canadamerica. As for the Indians, who are sometimes incorrectly referred to as "Indigenous peoples", no aknowledgment is necessary. Not only did they not inhabited the internet, but they couldn't even invent the wheel in the thousands of years head start here.
And now for the news...
Yesterday was "Liberation Day" as named by President Trump, where he initiated reciprocol tariffs acoss the board against countries who treat us unfairly. There will be short term economic pain as we transition back to a country that actually makes things. As proof, I ended up paying $350 after tariffs for a Men's Cotton Linen shirt made in Bangladesh because I like the questionable quality and uneven child stitching I find so endearing in my no tuck casuals.
Still no update on the eventually aquisitions of the frozen wastelands to our north. I'm hoping that Trump also has his eyes on the Island nation of Madagascar off the coast of the horn of Africa as our eventual cherished 52nd State (or 53rd after Greenland?) The climate is tropical and offers another vacation spot after hockey and curling season is over.
As for the border, the March numbers are out and our southwest border saw the lowest number of illegal crossings ever! The infiltration of the future democrat coalition of murderers and rapists, pedophiles and child traffikers, drug cartels and terrorists - has slowed to a trickle. Democrats will just have to make due with their current ranks of murderers and rapists, pedophiles and child traffikers, drug cartels and terrorists.
In February, President Trump signed an executive order to ban so-called trans athletes from girls and women's sports. The State of Maine is refusing to comply, with their Governor citing historical precedent stating, "George Washington powdered his hair to appear as if he was wearing a wig, so...". While I made that last part up, it is true that federal funding has been stopped for Maine. For myself, I always believed Maine to be covered in trees and was not aware anybody actually lived there. Apparently there are people, and the boys there really want to play dressup in the girls locker rooms.
Meanwhile, Elon Musk and DOGE continues to frustrate democrats by exposing waste, fraud and abuse, and saving hundreds of billions of dollars so far. No wonder democrats are in a panic, as their entire platform sits on a three-legged stool consisting of "waste, fraud and abuse".
Speaking of Elon, what has he ever done to help people? errr... Besides those astronauts he saved on March 18th. I mean lately!
In happier news, Rosie O'Donnell self-deported to Ireland, and Ellen DeGeneres is fleeing to England - thereby lowering the odds to zero of a future Trump expansion there with a 54th and 55th cherished state.
This has been the news as I see it. Please don't key my 2014 Chevy Traverse on your way out. I don't need the tens of dollars of damage that might cause.