Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Kid's Predictions

What you are about to read is ground-breaking prophesy by the one and only Kid of the infamous Diary of a Right Wing Pussycat. It has been shamelessly copied and pasted by me from the comment section of my previous post without permission from the author. Be warned, dear reader. Once read, it cannot be unread. This message will permeate your soul to the core. You may laugh. You will probably intermittently sob. If you choose to proceed, I recommend you have a box of Kleenex handy (and be wearing an absorbent diaper in the likely scenario of a prolonged fugue).

His story must be told.


Ok, Predictions.............

DJ Trump and Mike Pence are consumed by a Jellystone Major Minor Super Volcano while campaigning in where-ever that place is and Nana Pelosi becomes PRESIDENT. The globalist world has a simultaneous orgasm and capitalism dies of a combination of a rabies plus termite infestation combined with Malaria and Polio, And over the top stupididity. Nana chooses longtime San Fran homeless and toothless resident otis the transgender person of unknown gender as his, her or whatitsis as Vice President. The lgbtqrstuv community has a collective orgasmic event that is non-descriptive since none of them actually know how to have an orgasm in a given gender capacity. Lets move on.

Boris Johnson is elected Prime Minister and is immediately eaten in cannibal fashion by a transgender creature who has recently ingested bath salts in Florida. He or she is married to a person of unknown gender who is a Harvard Law grad and who gets he/she or it off on a charge of racial bias, cultural appropriation and virtue signaling. Well, Natch.

Meanwhile barry soetoro is fatally impaled on the bayonet of the first female of the 3rd Infantry Army to serve as a Tomb Sentry and dies as michelle obama instinctively thrusts his/her penis into barry's oral orifice providing barry one last 'taste' of "screw America" visual - physical symbolism. Someone told me this is how it went. Seems a perfect timeline of events.

Monday, May 27, 2019

Nancy Pelosi orders a Triple Martini


The DNC just tweeted a video montage of Nancy Pelosi that was heavily edited to the point where it appeared she had a string of coherent thoughts. The video was so heavily doctored that even her denture slippages and spittle spray were photo shopped out of each frame. It was apparently created in response to this Trump Tweet:

“PELOSI STAMMERS THROUGH NEWS CONFERENCE”

In other news...
The man poised to be the next British leader has hair styled by passing tornado.

And how could we forget... Memorial Days Past:
(2015) Obama's bizarre Memorial Day climate change speech at Arlington National Cemetery



(2016) From the First Family Dogs, Sunny and Bo, to all of you... Happy Memorial Day!



(2017) North Korea Launches skinless Beef Hot Dog



Monday, May 20, 2019

Trump Topiary Tuesday

Rep. Justin Amash, R-Mich., became the first Republican to publicly accuse Trump of engaging in “impeachable conduct”... 

and gets free lawn job.



Sunday, May 19, 2019

Schwarzenegger Snuggled and awkwardly kissed by Joe Biden


Arnold Schwarzenegger savagely attacked and awkwardly kissed by Joe Biden, who was then swiftly pinned down by security.


Friday, May 17, 2019

JUST BECAUSE I AM PRO CHOICE DOES NOT MEAN I AM PRO SLAVERY

It's really just a matter of viability. A slave cannot fend for itself outside of the cotton fields... and really when you think about it, a slave is part of the slave master's body, so no yankee has a right to tell the slave master what to do with his own body.... and the law doesn't even recognize the slave as a person...

You want slavery to become a non-issue? Focus less on telling slave masters how horrible it is to own slaves and start offering them other answers for the high cost of farming....after you’ve stepped back and listened to the slave master's stories, of course.



Why is it the more these lost souls struggle to excuse infanticide, the deeper they get sucked into the quicksand?

JUST BECAUSE I AM PRO CHOICE
DOES NOT MEAN I AM PRO SLAVERY
IT MEANS I UNDERSTAND YOUR
CHOICE IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS
AND I WILL ALWAYS FIGHT FOR
YOUR RIGHT TO CHOOSE A SLAVE

Sunday, May 12, 2019

AOC presides


AOC briefly takes Pelosi's spot

which is good, because she is obviously still teething...

Monday, May 6, 2019

Trump in cars getting Lunch



BLOG NARRATOR: Ever since he resigned as Secretary of Defense last December, James 'Mad Dog' Mattis has been President Trump's wheelman and impromptu valet, whether he needs a driver for a getaway golf round and weekend getaway in Mar-a-Lago or for late-night fourth meal runs. Let's peek in...

Mad Dog: Mr. President, your National Security Advisor, John Bolton, is on the phone.

Trump: If he wants me to bring him a Happy Meal, tell him he's too late. But we will be going through the drive thru at Chick-fil-A... 12 piece nuggets?

Mad Dog: He says there is intelligence that Iran is Threatening American Interests.

Trump: Put him on speaker.

Bolton: Mr President, there is not a pallet of cash large enough for me to get on the current "speaker".  Speaking of that, what do you want to do? The former president would bow repeatedly and load pallets of cash and send to the Iranian regime. Or choice B would entail deploying the USS Abraham Lincoln Carrier Strike Group and a bomber task force to the U.S. Central Command region for a little more "flexibility".

BLOG NARRATOR: WILL TRUMP PULL AN OBAMA AND SURRENDER? WILL TRUMP ALLOW IRAN TO CAPTURE US OUR SAILORS AND HOLD THEM PRISONER TO HUMILIATE THIS PRESIDENT LIKE THEY DID TO THE LAST ONE? WILL TRUMP IGNORE IRAN'S CULPABILITY FOR HAMAS ROCKET ATTACKS INTO ISRAEL AND IN FACT BLAME ISRAEL LIKE THE DEMOCRATS DO? WILL TRUMP OPT FOR NUGGETS OR A SPICY CHICKEN SANDWICH AT CHI-FIL-A?

Tune in next time. Same random blog-time, same blog-channel.

Sunday, May 5, 2019

"Creepy Joe" disqualified for awkward Kiss in 2019 Kentucky Derby

Kentucky Derby history was made Saturday at Churchill Downs in Louisville. 


Chattering Teeth News - Maximum Security was undefeated and led wire-to-wire in this year's Kentucky Derby, crossing the finish line in first by almost two lengths. However, the celebration was short lived as the horse was disqualified after race officials noticed Maximum Security's jockey  "Creepy Joe" interfering with the other horses and their mounts, saddling up close to them and rubbing their shoulders or smelling their manes. The track was a sloppy one to begin with, and wasn't helped by Creepy Joe's sloppy and awkward kisses.

Why this horse's owner and trainers selected Creepy Joe to ride their prized steed remains a mystery. Creepy Joe has been a notoriously slow, sleepy and low energy partner who suffers from a career of foot-in-mouth disease. There is talk amongst the handlers to make a jockey change for the Preakness Stakes, and Pokehontas seems to be ahead in the race for this gig by a large nose.

Saturday, May 4, 2019

Cohen Eats Bucket of POCs From Planned Parenthood

Chattering Teeth News - During Thurday's witch hunt House Judiciary Committee hearing, Rep. Steve Cohen (D-TN) ate a bucket of KFC chicken in protest to a no-show from Attorney General Barr. After receiving flak and twitter ridicule from even the leftists for this ridiculous stunt, he now swears he will return to his regular democrat diet of POCs from Planned Parenthood.