Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Game of Pong

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez dangles 2020 endorsement: Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren?

Only one way AOC will be comfortable making this choice.  That's right...


My money's on The Injun. I still remember fondly her beer Instagram candidacy announcement On New Year's Eve... "I'm gonna get me... ummm, a beer"

Now if she can only get the darn bottle open!

Monday, June 10, 2019


OK, admittedly that puzzle wasn't really fair as there is no real difference between these candidates and the background.

It's almost as unfair as expecting Creepy Joe to negotiate his way through a single-stalk Iowan corn maze.

With this invasion of 19 looney dimocrat politicians, you can't blame the natives for seeking the nearest shelter...

photo from

Saturday, June 8, 2019

Glenn Beck's Latest Masterpiece

The Glenn Beck Show (and all of Blaze Media) is in my regular rotation, and that is how I know that this Hitler painting took him 10 hours to complete. His podcast cracks me up - he told the story of when he was just finishing this painting when his wife walks into the room. She looks at the Hitler painting. She looks at her husband and she says, "what are we going to be doing tonight?" - not even commenting on the latest of her husband's idiosyncrasies.

In the painting, Glenn compares the genocidal maniac, Adolph Hitler, with the genocidal government funded Planned Parenthood. Great minds think alike. I had this same though back in 2013. I'll re-post below, but first the painting that Ebay removed yesterday (joining the likes of twitter, Facebook, google and Youtube as leftist propaganda publishers who want to silence the right and are afforded the governmental protections as platforms.)

That sounds like the policies of the past. Learn from the it, or be doomed to repeat it. Bid on my painting based on 1940's U.S. war propaganda and share. All proceeds go to Mercury One for pro-life charities.
- Glenn Beck

and now, this blast from the past (and possibly Beck's motivation for his painting? I want my cut of that $1 sales price!)

Parallel Universe Thursday: Planned Fatherland and the trial of Dr. Mengele

Somewhere in a parallel universe (not that far away); a place where Germany won WWII...

Planned Fatherland is the largest provider of "reproductive health services" in Nazi Germany. Due to the Fuehrer's generous funding, Planned Fatherland has established numerous concentration clinics providing free services to poor Jewish, Christian and black peasants all across New Deutschland, or what was once known as America.

They have come a long way since the 1930s and '40s, when they were able to provide post-fertilization services to only about 6 million indigent Jews. Since then, they have expanded these free concentration contraception services to all who worship at the altar of the "Angel of Death" (but specifically targeted to eradicate from humanity the impure races of Jews and Africans). From 6 million to over 54 million served! Heil Dear Leader!

Earlier this week, Dr. Kermit Gosnell was found guilty. Not because he enjoyed killing thousands of babies by cutting their spinal cords with scissors. Not because he put late-term survivors in a toilet and amused himself by watching them swim. He was not found guilty because he stored remains of aborted fetuses in water jugs, pet food containers and a freezer at the clinic. After all, he was only following the techniques established by Planned Fatherland's founder, "Doctor" Josef Rudolf Mengele, who is famous for performing human experiments on children. 

No, Dr. Kermit Gosnell's crimes are much more heinous than those. You see, instead of quietly going about his spine snipping business behind closed doors, he made the mistake of bringing negative attention to himself and the Nazi ProgreSSive cause.

Planned Fatherland issued this statement:
"We must have and enforce laws that protect access to safe and legal torture and purging from society of the racially undesirable elements."

The life of a Jew after a botched gassing should be left up to the Kommandant, the fuehrer, and the physician.

"ProgreSSives" are the same in any universe, and by any other name would be as morally corrupt.

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

So you really think you can be anything you want to be because you are entitled or something?

I've heard it said that this crop of 20 to 30-somethings were the first generation to have their evil parents tell them they were special. I don't buy that. But maybe they are the first generation where their teacher gave them an 'A' and the coach gave them a trophy just for showing up.

Pop Quiz: Question 1 - Who first said this?
You can have anything you want -
if you want it badly enough.
You can be anything you want to be,
do anything you set out to accomplish
if you hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.

Hint: It isn't Hillary Clinton...

A) Bill Gates

B) That children's show actor who thought he was a climatologist

c) That grown a$$ man who identified as a little girl

D) Abraham Lincoln

The answer, of course, is 'D'. Abraham Lincoln. Honest Abe. Lincoln, the second greatest President just a tad behind our current great, President Donald J Trump.

If you jumped into a time travel phone booth and was transported back to the 1990s and asked a bunch of elementary kids what they wanted to be when they grew up - most would almost certainly say they wanted to be Marine Biologists or an Astronaut. Oh sure, there would be the occasional weirdo who might state they wanted to some day be a pilot of an official Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, but that's just crazy talk. What are the odds of that?

The problem with the above answers, children, has to do with something called 'market forces' and 'supply and demand'. 

Let's look at the numbers. Per the US Census Bureau, the estimated number of U.S. millennials in 2015 was 83.1 million. There are only approximately 8,520 Marine Biologists, and there has never been more than 150 astronauts at any given time. Looks like a few disappointed Johnnys and Sallys.

Oh yah? Well at least they can always be an Oscar Mayer Weinermobile pilot, right?.... Not so fast.

Many university grads saying 'I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener'

The number of applications to become “hotdoggers” has shot up to 7,000 in 2019, ... Oscar Mayer has a tradition dating back to 1988 where six Wienermobiles tour the U.S. and Canada throughout the year promoting the brand name processed meats, usually in crews of two — one male and one female — commandeering the giant-size fiberglass wiener vehicles... Lottery-winning candidates who get hired by Oscar Mayer go through two weeks of Hot Dog High, where they learn about the company and get driver training so they can adeptly steer the Wienermobile.

What? You mean there are no more than 12 “hotdoggers" (6 Pilots for the Wienermobiles and 6 Commander positions inside the giant-size fiberglass wiener vehicles) at an given time?

In conclusion, maybe the weiner-wannas should be more practicle while pursuing the Hot Dog High. A job that is in high demand and produces a product that flys off the shelves... say, a line worker at a trophy manufacturer? Or maybe a hot dog vendor at the local The Home Depot?

Speaking of which, here are some critically acclaimed clips from my interview with just such a vendor a few years back who clearly wasted her money getting loans to go to Hot Dog High...

The wife and I stopped by the local Home Depot after church yesterday to buy a power washer, deck stain and assorted rollers and accessories. Apparently, my wife believes that Memorial Day weekend is meant to be spent in hard labor around the homestead. I reminded her that the day is set aside to remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms, and "how am I supposed to do that while working?" She reminded me that weekends squandered in leisure is not considered an 'ultimate sacrifice', and to "quit yer whining!"

So there I was, pushing the cart of goodies toward the exit just past the hot dog vendor. The misses must have been feeling some fraction of guilt for the lash marks on my back, as she nodded at the hot dog vendor while telling me, "go ahead".

The peddler and purveyor of these plump and prodigious redhots was a young female working alone. Apparently, she was expected to multitask as the chef AND the cashier. I placed my order for a hot dog.

I should have known she was not fully trained when she asked, "What kind? A regular hot dog or a Vienna?"

I was momentarily confused and felt slight vertigo by her question, and wondered if I mistakenly used my fake French accent when placing my order - thereby throwing her off and eliciting her question. I shook off my momentary fugue, and answered in my very best Flint accent, "Vienna, daaaaang girl!"

While she was 'preparing' my post-Home Depot feast, I engaged her in a palaver of verbal confabulation for my own amusement. "I'm sure you are aware, madame - as you are in the business so to speak - that Merriam-Webster just recently declared by decree that the hot dog shall henceforth be considered a sandwich. How does this make you feel?"

She giggled and said she had not heard this and she didn't care one way or the other.

I searched her eyes and face for tics or other tells that might suggest a lack of veracity or that she might somehow be involved in this conspiracy. Finding none, I determined that she really hadn't read or heard about this frankfurter travesty of justice. This immediately enraged me. How can Home Depot enlist a hot dog vendor who doesn't keep up on the very latest hot dog news!?

Calling a hot dog a sandwich? You might as well say the Earth is flat! or that anthropogenic Global Warming is a thing!

I slathered a healthy portion of mustard and onions on my vienna and stormed through the exit, mumbling unintellibles all the way to the car.


So in conclusion, a hot dog may be a sandwich, but it will never be a sammich!