Saturday, August 31, 2019



As a dedicated part-time independent self-proclaimed weather specialist and self-described world renowned leader in anagram interpretation, I made THIS shocking discovery regarding Hurricane Dorian while experiencing an alcohol self-induced Dyslexic fugue...

As you may know, the definition of an ANAGRAM is, "a word or phrase made by transposing the letters of another word or phrase." At least according to Mamerri Wetsber.

Well, what better way to scramble up a bunch of letters than the high winds of a tropical storm rum after-work cocktail? I hope I'm wrong, because a magical unicorn with the runs could unleash a large glitter bomb of sprinkles and colorful rainbows powerful enough to gender-confuse the entire state of Florida.

Ever since I discovered this shocking anagram, I've burned the midnight oil (and my bottle of Macallan 12 Year Single Malt Scotch) studying my Fisher Price toy spaghetti model. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs?

Thankfully, this spaghetti only models a CAT ONE... (albeit with a very strong eye wall)

If we've learned anything from our national treasure that is Nicolas Cage, it's that the illuminazis have controlled the weather ever since George W Bush purposefully unleashed Hurricane Katrina with his weather machine. However, this is the people's weather machine now!!! Can Trump and the power of the weather machine turn this storm and keep it off the coast?

The nation girds its collective non-gender specific loin area for what may come next.

Stay tuned to this blog for important updates you will not get anywhere else. Seriously, just stare at the screen and occasionally hit refresh. You'll be glad you did.

In the meantime: Know your hurricane categories, and prayers for all in this storms path.


Saturday, August 17, 2019

who burned down Rashida's anti-semitic she shed?

In the original State Farm commercial, we see Cheryl's She Shed burning to the ground. Her husband, Victor, insists that the She Shed was struck by lightning (as he stands in the yard in his bathrobe, apparently washing gasoline off his hands with the garden hose).

In the latest (fake) State Farm update, we see Rashida tlaib's anti-semitic she shed and terrorist training camp spontaneously combust as The Squad looks on.

Maybe we'll never know who incinerated Rashida's anti-semitic She Shed, just like we'll never know for sure whether Jake from State Farm is really a dude or a democrat she-male in khakis. Some things just remain mysteries.

In other unrelated news, mere minutes after Rashida's She Shed burned to the ground, Israeli Prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu lands and disembarks from his F-15i fighter after enjoying a late night joy ride.

Tuesday, August 13, 2019