Friday, February 29, 2008

Those aren't pillows!

The trip to Orlando for this year's annual gathering of newspaper marketers from across the country was a reaffirmation of several key points. The industry is in a transition and can no longer survive as the solely monolithic model of the past, newspaper's reach across multiple platforms that include magazines, special sections, stand-alone niche publications, and of course digital, has never been greater. But perhaps the most important truism for me: there is no such thing as over packing when traveling with Pastorino. Four days, three night trip? Better pack for a week. It goes a little something like this...

We had a break between sessions that would allow for a cigar on the ground floor veranda of our hotel room to enjoy the sun. Pasti disappeared to take advantage of the "home court advantage," leaving Tim (newly appointed Mkt'ing mgr) and I to discuss intellectually which sessions we had gotten the most out of, which deteriorated into a discussion on the crop of female funbags this year. Pasti returned and enthusiastically joined the conversation. I resisted my own call of nature for about 20 minutes, allowing the bathroom to air out after Pasti's violations. I gave the room a quick smell test as I approached and decided to go in. Done. As I stand and reassemble, I notice that the back of my drawers were soaked. Damn! I throw a towel on the large pool at the base of the toilet that had somehow escaped my notice. Fasely assuming the puddle was water from the morning shower, I used the hotel-issued blowdryer on them and returned to the patio. "Did you have a leaky colostomy bag?," joked I. "Oh yah, I missed," Pasti answered sheepishly. Ahhhh! It's urine! Quick change ensues. Find out the puddle was actually from an overflow situation that arose from a repeated operation of the flush handle, (as if pumping the handle would somehow quicken the pull and disappearance of the bowl's large and tricky cargo). Feeling slightly better, but not entirely so, even with a "10 parts per million" scenario.

The man is an animal. He seemingly has no alcohol limit, especially when on a vendor's tab. knocking down bourbons, beers, or whatever is put in front of him, and remaining vertical. At least we didn't have a repeat from last year's Crystal Mountain golf trip. I'm still emotionally scarred from that episode. It goes a little something like this...

All day marathon golf on a northern Michigan course. Doesn't get any better than that, right? Anyway, back to the room at the end of the day of golf and large intakes of alcohol, I passed out face first and fully dressed. I wake up a few hours later to take a leak, it's dark. Pasti is in the queen next to me (that's queen "bed"). I go back to sleep. I wake up several hours later. My eyes open, I jump out of the bed and scream, "What the F...!", for Pasti was obliviously snoring away in the same bed. My screaming stirred him. He opened his eyes and looked around in an obvious fog. Giggled something incoherant and went back to his own bed. When questioned the next day, he couldn't remember what happened, but speculated that he went to the bathroom and then collapsed at the first bed he came to, never really conscious or sober enough during that nightly field trip to adequately process where he was.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Go read a newspaper.

Blogs are fast food. Too much and you'll get fat and lazy. Go read a newspaper! Get some ink on your hands! No ransom note worth it's salt was ever cut and pasted from a printed online article!

I will be in sunny Florida next week for the newspaper conference at The Orlando World Center Marriott Resort. Last year's conference was in Vegas (at Mandalay Bay), where Pasti and I had a pretty good string of luck doing the "Blackjack paper route," traveling from resort to resort making our collections (especially at Hooters). While obviously no gaming this year, there might be a Cheeseburger and Margaritta with my name on it at Jimmy Buffet's place in Universal's City Walk.

As for the conference, it should be a good one, what with the industry in what you might call a transition. I could probably give a presentation this year, and I just might do that in the Sports Bar later. That's usually the best place to pick up tips, and I will likely make those around me the beneficiaries of my brilliance. Since my professional fortunes are tied to print, I must insist that bloggers and surfers who read this subscribe to their local papers. Don't make this blog come over there!

As for me, don't worry. I'll try not to get sunburned. Please keep my walk shoveled boys! In the meantime, talk amongst yourselves with an open forum in the comments section. I'm off to Candy Mountain... "The land of joy and joyness".

Friday, February 22, 2008

Proud to be a Flintstone


Most people from "other parts" conjure up negative images when they hear you are from there. This is not surprising when you consider that their exposure to Flint probably includes Michael Moore's "Roger and Me," where he goes to great lengths to present the city as an endless sting of boarded up houses and partially burned shells amongst the few that are actually inhabited; albeit with desperate souls that skin and eat wild rabbits to survive.

I will go on record and state emphatically that I would not have wanted to grow up anywhere else than where I did - Lockhead Street on Flint's south side. The pickup baseball games at Freeman park, street hockey, Basketbrawl games, the infamous nightly keggers... and then we hit our teens.

Sure Flint isn't perfect and we have the occasional brawl involving 80 or so youths at the local Chuck E Cheese. But is Forbes correct to state that Flint is the third most miserable city in the US?

Don't forget that we had the fourth place finisher on last year's American Idol, LaKisha ‘KiKi’ Jones! And Mark, Don, and Mel of Grand Funk Railroad were Flintstones. "Can I get a witness?!"

The big news around town this week is the premiere of Will Ferrell's new movie, Semi-Pro, the comedy about a fictitious area basketball team (The Flint Tropics). Hey, this movie is as accurate and factual as anything Michael Moore has spewed out, but a lot more fun I'm sure.

On a more serious note, we do have the dubious distinction of suffering the youngest school shooting in history, when in 2000, a 6-year-old brought a gun to school and shot and killed his kindergarten classmate. Native son Michael Moore seemed to blame Republicans for this tragedy when shortly thereafter he wrote:
How do Mr. McCain and Mr. Bush feel this morning? Just
seven days prior, John McCain's "Straight Talk Express"
bus rolled past Beecher on I-75, but it didn't stop. It rolled
on down near Ann Arbor where McCain blasted those who
seek gun control... Mr. Bush never stopped in Flint either.

I guess we all feel sorta proud that they both avoid us like
the plague. There is not -- and has not for nearly thirty
years -- been a single Republican state or federal
representative elected from Flint. Another reason, I
suppose, for our neglect and punishment. But we're proud
of how we've made it almost a crime to support a
Republican in Flint...

Hmmm. Might be a clue in there as to the reason behind Flint's woes Mikey.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Tigers loaded

Been too busy to blog. One thing I'm sure we can all agree on is that the Detroit Tigers will win the World Series this year...


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

A life-altering blog post

This may be the most life-altering blog post you read today.

You may say, "DaBlade. How can reading this blog post alter my life?" Will you finally share your secrets for suaveness?"


"How I can become a millionaire and never pay taxes?"

No. That's been done. Instead, if you follow my instructions below, you may learn one of my secrets of happiness. You may also discover an island of calm each day in the midst of the stormy seas of life...

oh, just play the game! It's Picross, it's free, and it's fun. Start at the Easy level to get the hang of it.

Armor Games Picross

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Arm the good guys Andy

Andy Heller makes the point in his latest column titled "Have we become accustomed to slaughter?," that mass murder is becoming all too common in our society, with the latest example being the shooting on the campus of Northern Illinois University. Of course, he swings and misses on the obvious solution. He writes:

Should we just throw up our hands as loner after loner arms himself to the teeth and takes a hunk out of society? Should we say "Oh well, that's life today," then turn the page to see what that wacky Dilbert is up to?...

Look at guns. Mass gun slaughters have soared since 1999, when Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the patron saints of the random slaughter movement, shot up Columbine High.

And yet, oddly enough, public opinion in favor of stricter gun control has dropped dramatically (from roughly 66 percent to 56 percent) since then, according to the Pew Research Center.

Oddly enough? This ain't "rocket surgery" Andy. What does the tragedy at Northern Illinois University have in common with all of these mall and campus shootings, including Columbine and Virginia Tech, Andy? Do you know?

They are all gun free zones, that's what. That's right. It's illegal to possess a firearm on any school grounds. Zero tolerance, mind you. Obviously, Klebold didn't get the memo. Then again, sick and twisted individuals with diseased minds set on causing as much death and destruction as possible, are drawn to gun free zones like moths to a flame because:
A) They have lots of potential victims, and
B) They have no guns to interrupt and minimize their impact.

Motor City Madman Ted Nugent posted a commentary on CNN in April of last year that nails it Andy:

Already spineless gun control advocates are squawking like chickens with their tiny-brained heads chopped off, making political hay over this most recent, devastating Virginia Tech massacre, when in fact it is their own forced gun-free zone policy that enabled the unchallenged methodical murder of 32 people.

Thirty-two people dead on a U.S. college campus pursuing their American Dream, mowed-down over an extended period of time by a lone, non-American gunman in possession of a firearm on campus in defiance of a zero-tolerance gun ban. Feel better yet? Didn't think so.

Who doesn't get this? Who has the audacity to demand unarmed helplessness? Who likes dead good guys?

Arm the good guys. It works every time it's tried.

I'm not a big Dilbert fan Andy. For my comic amusement, I'll stick with you buddy.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Democrat coalition: Group W Bench

Human debris.

That's what comes to mind when I see these ignorant modern-day hippies in Berkely debasing themselves in this manner. I couldn't watch this entire video and never made it to the intriguing part referenced in the title, but I got the gist in the first few minutes...

I don't blame the young people so much. They are not supposed to know any better. Our generation was just as oblivious in youth. The difference was that our idiotic behavior was fringe. We were not granted an audience and treated like celebrities when we deviated from acceptable human behavior.

Back in my day... Arlo Guthrie, of Alice's Restaurant" fame, had to sit on the Group W bench for littering...

There was all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly-lookin' people on the bench there . . . there was mother-rapers . . . father-stabbers . . . father-rapers! FATHER-RAPERS sittin' right there on the bench next to me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible and crime fightin' guys were sittin' there on the bench, and the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one . . . the meanest father-raper of them all . . . was comin' over to me, and he was mean and ugly and nasty and horrible and all kinds of things, and he sat down next to me. He said, "Kid, what'd you get?"

But not all of these code pinkos and hippies are youngsters. And I think to myself that this country has experienced much culture rot since Guthrie's anti-war ballad. So much so that his description of the "group w bench" pretty much describes a large wing of the democrat party coalition.

Harry Reid and the rest of the democrats are blocking the vote on the Semper Fi Act, a bill introduced by Senator DeMint that would redirect approximately $2M in earmarks from Berkely to the Marines.

“It’s a national embarrassment that these officials refuse to apologize to our troops and their families and continue to support actions against military recruitment. It’s time for Berkeley to realize that actions have consequences,” said Senator DeMint.

No surprize there.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Righteous torture

"Righteous" and "torture" mutually exclusive terms you say? Not so, says I, if you define torture as "harsh interrogation methods" like waterboarding. That's not the way the democrat majority in the senate saw it, as yesterdays vote to ban was 51-45. See Michelle Malkin's roll call blog here.

Which image is more disturbing?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

I want change (just not Obama's brand)

I want change.

When I am at a vending machine and I am really thirsty, I want change.When I am parked in front of a parking meter on a busy downtown street, I want change. When I have an unfortunate occurrence of cheese ass, I want change.

Since the Bush tax cuts were implemented, I do not want change. When I see Justice Samuel Alito and Chief Justice John Roberts sitting on the US Supreme Court, I do not want change. When I heard the president say, "I can hear you. The rest of the world hears you. And the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon," I do not want change. When we have not been attacked on our soil since 9/11, I do not want change.

So unless Obama wants to get me a coke, some coins for the meter, and wash my shorts, I don't want HIM!

But I wouldn't mind seeing Halle Berry change that T!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

President Obama's Cabinet (so far)

President Barak Obama
Doesn't just looking at him make you want to tear up? Who cares that he has accomplished absolutely nothing. Who cares that he is saying nothing of substance. He is a great orator! He gives me "hope". He is an African-American, and it will make me a good person if I vote for him.

P Diddy, Vice President
P Diddy is a surprising, but wise pick for VP on Obama's part. Obama has heard from those who fear for his safety as the first black president (sorry Bill), so he takes no chances by picking a pale skinned running mate. He also knows the dark history of the Clinton's and what has mysteriously happened to their enemies. No tempting fate here. Safe pick. Not even a hillbilly redneck racist KKK member (no, not senator Byrd) would even think about laying a finger on Obama with Rapper P in Da Houze!

Oprah, Chief of Staff
"little o" rewards "Big O" for her early endorsement of him in the primaries. Many credit Oprah for getting "little o" over the hump and ultimately steam-rolling Hillary by securing the mindless, brain-dead, and intellectually vacuous afternoon female TV audience.

George Clooney, Secretary of State
Speaking of "intellectually vacuous"... Obama original slated Chauncey Gardiner for this post because he read on Wikipedia that Chauncey had a "calm and seemingly highly intelligent demeanor" and that he was "essentially a blank canvas" on which people tended to "paint their wants and needs on." AND he had a good tailor. Sounds like a blood brother for Obama to me. When told Chaunce was a fictitious character in a film, played by an actor no longer with us, he decided to go with the closest match.

Michael Moore, Secretary of Defense
This was an obvious pick for "little o" to make. He was catapulted to the White House on a tsunami of support from the anti-war kooks on the left, and "O Widdy" (as his VP likes to call him) picked the one person who he knew would absolutely never, under any circumstances, use American troops to protect our national security. After all, according to his sect. of state, the troops were needed in a place called Darfur to run the "meals on wheels" program there. His advisors had originally put Barbara Streisand at the top of the list, but "little o" explained to them simply that, "she's a jew, ain't she?"

Rosie O'Donnell, Dept. of Agriculture
Yikes!! That's just plain scary.

Feel free to help "little o" fill the remaining posts by making your suggestions.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

My "Top 50 Movies of all time" list

I imagine that everybody's top fifty movies list would be quite unique. While individual movies would likely be found on multiple lists, finding a list exactly matching all fifty would be rarer than sharing their finger prints (I'm guessing). The first ten movies on my list are actually my current top 10. The next forty are in no particular order. I realize I have left off some very good movies, so feel free to share with me which ones that I missed.

This list is living and breathing, which is to say that I reserve the right to add and subtract from it as I see new movies (or remember worthy ones). My top ten movies are distinguishable from the rest in that they are timeless to me. I'm sure I have watched each of them at least a dozen times, and I could sit down and watch them from start to finish again today.

My first ten of the Top Fifty movies of all time:
1) The Jerk,
2) The Outlaw Josey Wales,
3) Jaws,
4) Forrest Gump,
5) Rocky,
6) The Princess Bride,
7) Star Wars,
8) Poltergeist,
9) The Buddy Holly Story,
10)Full Metal Jacket,

My next forty of the Top Fifty Movies of all time:
Lord of the Rings, The Patriot, The Godfather, Scarface, The Terminator, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Smokey and the Bandit, Sling Blade, Psycho, Goodfellas, The Silence of the Lambs, The Sixth Sense, Dumb and Dumber, School of Rock, The Shawshank Redemption, Being There, Nightmare on Elms Street, Apollo 13, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Jeremiah Johnson, The Shootist, Tombstone, Alien, Back to the Future, The Time Machine (1960), War Games, Predator, Bourne Identity, Animal House, Caddyshack, The Night Shift, The Lord's of Flatbush, Walking Tall (1973), Backdraft, Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein, Dirty Harry, Jurassik Park, Scent of a Woman, Deathtrap, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

Only 15 comedies?

Friday, February 8, 2008

Carlson Caucus (Part 2)

Romney out. McCain all but in. Let the email hand-wringing continue.
Brother Greg sent Rick and me an email, telling us to read the Feb. 6th Ann Coulter column.

Rick responded:
yea i was aware of the position from her, rush, hannity, etc. I don't blame the democrats, i blame Bush. For 8 years we have been bombarded with these two themes: Bush is an idiot, Bush is evil. Now, surprise , surprise, all the democrats believe it but that is to be expected. I blame Bush because he is neither an idiot nor evil. He has been an excellent president for our times. However, he did not answer the bombardment of the left. He is too much of a gentleman and too politically savy understanding exactly what they were doing and simply pretending it was not personal and he would continue to do whats right and people would recognize it for what it is, ie, right. But we live in a country of idiot lemmings. The media absolutely determines what public opinion is. People hear it enough and thats the way it is. Now, since he failed to defend himself these last 8 years trusting people to see was doing the right thing, many so called moderates or those uncommitted to either full liberal or conservative values, believe Bush must be an idiot and evil and therefore we must change. Change can mean democrats (Hillbilly or ObamaMama) that would be the easiest thing to understand or change could be a republican as long as he is not like Bush, who remember is an idiot and evil. That is why McCain is ahead right now. The conservatives such as you and me are not coming out to vote in the numbers the moderates are and they are either voting for the woman or the black man cuz it is the easiest change and quite the sheek thing to do right now, or for McCain who while he is a republican he is not like Bush so he is neither an idiot nor evil. The problem is he also is not conservative. Will the conservatives vote for him in the general election if he is the nominee and the choice of staying home means one less Hillbilly or Obamamam vote cancelled out? no. Conservatives are smarter than that they will vote for him right along with the moderates and he will probably win as conservatives + moderates = more than liberals. If a conservative candidate wins the nomination like Huckabey now that Mitt is out unless we draft a conservative at the convention, the moderates will or may decide he is conservative therefore like Bush, who is an idiot and evil and must be both himself so thats not change and we need change, remember? liberals + moderates = more than conservatives. However dont forget that Bush is conservative and won last time against the liberals so therefore conservatives = more than liberals. That was before he became an idiot and evil by failing to show his face more on tv and say something like: "Well...there you go again" and smile.
We got a serious problem now. The liberal press will not allow the airtime necessary to truly debate the war in Iraq and the potential war with Iran all as crucial to the war on terror we did not start but absolutely must fight to win. It is enough for the media to exclaim what everyone feels which is war is bad on the economy, war kills people and we are tired of war. so lets change how we feel and stop the war?????? sound good????? If McCain wins he wont stop the war, or appoint a justice to overturn roe v wade or do anything else conservative except keep fighting the jihadists. then coulter is correct. about 4 years from now the lemmings will say, hey: that's not change, we wanted change, and we are sunk but safe til then. If Huckabee wins the nomination God please let him inspire us all including some moderates cuz if he does not and loses the election Hillbilly and/or Obamamamma get in the house and we will be attacked in the continental united states again before their second term is up. look at the next email for a dissertation of my worst fears.

My response:

Greg Responded:
Well said... especially the equation "liberals + moderates = more than conservatives" However, I'm not so sure about the "conservatives + moderates = more than liberals" because of the Huckabee wild-card. W. was elected in large part on the strength of that same fundamentalist voting block now supporting Huckabee (a former Baptist Preacher remember) and I simply do not know how many moderates went Bush's way last time over Kerry. My concern is that while I trust that most all conservatives (including Ann/Rush/Sean) will eventually support the Republican no matter what, there may not be enough moderates for McCain to offset the number of fundamentalists who will not support him (case in point is Dr. James Dobson of the powerful PAC "Focus on the Family" who has declared he will not vote for McCain under any circumstances).

My own conclusion: McCain may not get all of the fundamentalists, but he will most certainly get all of the moderates, and hopefully some begrudgingly right-thinking fundamentalists. Whereas Huckabee would get all of the fundamentalists, he would get zero moderates. Therefore, the choice of McCain is obvious if you actually wish to win the general election against the Dems: "most conservatives + all moderates + some fundamentalists = more than liberals"

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Romney "steps aside"

When I heard this news, I curled into the fetal position under my desk, and in my best Nancy Kerrigan immitation, sobbed "why!? why!?"

McCain addresses CPAC

PICTURED: John McCain is greeted today at CPAC
McCain addresses the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) today in an attempt to convince the audience that he is one of them. He has his work cut out for him. Out on the campaign trail Wednesday, McCain asked his "loudest conservative critics" to "calm down" and support his Republican presidential candidacy."

How will this "straight talking maverick" persuade his conservative skeptics that he won't take a left turn once he gains the nomination?

Human Events editor Jed Babbin writes:
One source told me last night that McCain is planning an all-out push at CPAC. At 3 pm tomorrow, McCain is scheduled to address the crowd expected to number over 6,000 activists. And McCain plans a very special introduction.

According to my source, McCain has prepared a video featuring President Ronald Reagan to make the introduction. If McCain uses this video, it is very likely to backfire badly. This is the group before which Ronald Reagan said in 1975 that, “A political party cannot be all things to all people. It must represent certain fundamental beliefs which must not be compromised to political expediency or simply to swell its numbers.”

Very few of the 2008 CPAC crowd will see McCain as the successor to Reagan and Reagan’s principles. McCain has sacrificed conservatives’ fundamental beliefs throughout his Senate career. If McCain uses this introduction, the boos will be very loud.

I agree with Rush on this one. We don't need to "reach across the aisle" and deal with the democrats. They are to be defeated.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Brawl at Chuck's place

Chuck E Cheese's in Flint

Gang graffiti adorns the outside of the Chuck E. Cheese pizzeria in Flint where a brawl broke out last week.

FLINT TOWNSHIP -- Police still aren't sure exactly what sparked a brawl among 80 people Saturday night at Chuck E Cheese...The first call came in at 8:53 p.m. concerning a fight among three teenage girls at the pizza parlor. A Genesee County Sheriff's paramedic and state troopers quickly got the fight under control,... But a few minutes later, the officers sent out a second call as the fight erupted again, and quickly turned into "a knock-down, drag-out between 75 and 80 people,"...

Later in the story, it mentions that police had to use pepper spray. That might be the only thing that would make this pizza palatable. What I wonder is how so many people had the energy to participate in this knock-down drag-out. There is so much sticky soda on the floor that it takes effort to lift one's feet to walk across the floor to the exit. How could someone do a passable karate spin scissor kick to their neighbor's jaw with so much floor resistance?

When police arrived, Chuck E. Cheese was seen roundhousing fleeing youths while shouting "[EXPLETIVES DELETED]!!". He was immediately tazed, batoned, cuffed and led away.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Chuck E. Cheesy

So we have just ONE mob riot of up to 80 people at our local Chuck E. Cheese restaurant, and authorities overreact by banning alcohol, profanity, and gang symbols. I guess I will just have to find another pizzeria to take my adolescents where I can celebrate their birthdays like I always have. A shot of whiskey with the boyz while waiting for the ho to come take my order.

FLINT TWP. -- Visitors to a local Chuck E. Cheese restaurant won't have the option of a cold brew to go with their Skee-Ball... Chuck E. Cheese officials decided last week to temporarily ban the sale of alcohol at the pizza parlor to try to calm down upset parents.

Say what!? They have it backwards. The beer will CALM me down. You expect me to eat that crappy pizza while herds on unruly brats are running and screaming through the facility, all to that incessant God-forsaken singing emanating from mechanical rodents, and all while SOBER!?

From this video, it appears that I'm not the only one who disagrees with this decision. Chuck E's p*$$#d!

Oh, The Humanity!

The Giants beat the Patriots 17-14? How could this happen? New England was heavily favored and they had a date with destiny. They were unbeaten and the assumptive victor. Weren't most of the pre-game polls weighted towards Tom Brady and company? You mean to tell me that the "experts" were wrong?

From The New York Times:
Democrats Flood States With Ads as Tuesday Nears
Senators Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton have unleashed advertisements in nearly all the 22 states that have Democratic presidential nominating contests on Tuesday, a combined $19 million expenditure that is the most ambitious and geographically expansive television effort in a presidential primary...

What Hindenburg Hillary will do to the economy
Most of Mrs. Clinton’s advertisements are keyed to economic anxiety, a subject she has increasingly addressed. Voters across the country are seeing what has become her signature advertisement on the economy: a man dropped from a plane and hurtling toward the ground — an image intended to capture an economy in free fall — until his parachute engages, presumably suggesting what a second Clinton presidency might do for the economy.

THIS from the smartest woman in the world? Hillary and a parachute? Not the best marketing imagery if you ask me. Google "Hillary" and "parachute" and see what you come up with. Nevermind. I'll show you. It will be versions of this joke (edited for brevity, yada yada):

A grandfather and his grandson go up in a plane with Hillary Clinton, Bill Gates, and George W. Bush. The grandfather is the pilot. They are going to crash and there are only 4 parachutes not 5. Bill Gates steps up and says “I’m the richest man in the world, so I need a parachute.” Everyone agrees (yada yada) President Bush gets a parachute (yada yada) Hillary Clinton comes up and says, “I’m the smartest woman in the whole world. I need a parachute!”, and before the grandson can object, she jumps of the plane with a parachute. There is only one parachute left. The pilot tells his grandson to go since he’s young and hasn’t lived his life. (yada yada) The grandson replies, “You know the smartest woman in the world? She took my backpack.”

That's just what our economy needs! Hillary "Hindenburg" Clinton.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

McCain is no Ronald Reagan!

While McCain is on the right side of some conservative issues that include being pro-life and having strong national security credentials, it's not enough in my opinion. He carries way too much liberal democratic baggage.

He co-authored campaign-finance reforms that critics say limit free speech, made combatting global warming a priority and supported an eventual path to citizenship for millions of illegal immigrants. He twice voted against President Bush's tax cuts, favored relaxing restrictions on federal financing of embryonic stem cell research and objected to a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage although he opposes same-sex unions.

To assuage conservatives, McCain has rolled out endorsements from leading conservatives and aired a new television ad that mentions Ronald Reagan. He plans to attend a major gathering of conservatives later this month.

Well I guess that settles it then doesn't it? McCain mentioned Ronald Reagan so we should just roll over and go along and stop quibbling over little matters of conflicting core beliefs.

There was only one Ronaldus Maximus, and Mr. McCain, you ain't him!

Saturday, February 2, 2008

The Health Care Gestapo

Ben Smith reports from his politico blog
The Clinton campaign convened a conference call with health policy experts to denounce Obama's new mailer, which attacks Clinton's plan for "forcing" Americans to sign up for insurance..."I am personally outraged at the picture used in this mailing," said Len Nichols of the New America Foundation... It is as outrageous as having Nazis march through Skokie, Ill."

Here is the "Harry and Louise" knock-off ad that has Hill. and company in a dither...

Yep. If there is one thing Hitler fought hard for, it was universal health care for all of Germany's citizens. What!? A Clinton spokesman later "disavowed the Nazi reference" as inappropriate. I thought it was a good ad. The Clinton's have never liked a mirror put up in front of their faces. Even THEY must find Their reflection abhorent. Of course, B. Hussein O. is being a little disingenuous (surprize), as his plan is just another itteration of a government run system.

Speaking of health care, Shang sent me an interesting video about a Canadian man with cancer who has to come to the U.S. to get the medical care that is rationed in his home country. I liked this one too...

If only we had a health care sytem as efficient as Cuba's, right Michael Moore? You Sicko #$%&@!!

Friday, February 1, 2008

Clinton "Little Rascals" White House

I couldn't watch the entire Hillary/ Obama "debate" last night. It wasn't so much a debate as it was a lovefest. They obviously have decided to tone down their rhetoric to appear civil by comparison to what's happening with the Republicans. It shouldn't be that difficult for them. They are cut from the same liberal cloth. Surrender in Iraq; tax and spend; re-distribute wealth; socialized medicine; open borders; etc.

Hillary was asked whether it was good for the country to have another Clinton in the White House. "It did take a Clinton to clean after the first Bush and I think it might take another one to clean up after the second Bush," she replied to applause from the mindless debris that made up the audience. I'm not sure what she is referring to. It is common knowledge that the "stains" left by husband Bill in the oval office and elsewhere were a whole lot trickier than anything that came before. I think we are all well aware of how a Clinton "cleans up after a Bush."

In an interview with ABC News, Hillary apologized for her husband's race bating comments he has made on the campaign trail. “I think whatever he said which was certainly never intended to cause any kind of offense to anyone,” Clinton said.

Oh yah Mrs. Clinton!? Tell that to the Rutgers women’s basketball team!

"Can you control him?," she was asked. “Oh of course,” Clinton replied.

I feel much better about the prospects of Hillary in the White House now that I know she can control her husband, don't you? I envision the Hillary term being sort of like episodes of "The Little Rascals." While Hillary is busy with matters of State, little Billy (Spanky) is up to all sorts of shennanigans!

PICTURED (Our Gang): Hillary (Darla) watches on as husband Bill (Spanky) plays his horn on the south lawn to entertain guests Algore (Alfalfa), Rev. Sharpton (Buckwheat), Lewinski(Echo?) and Kennedy(Porky), as loyal pooch Buddy (Petie) looks on.

Speaking of Billy boy, did you catch his latest comments from the stump that are making headlines? "We just have to slow down our economy and cut back our greenhouse gas emissions 'cause we have to save the planet for our grandchildren. Everybody knows that global warming is real," stated Clinton.


Let's leave this yahoo in the past where he belongs, what do you say?