Thursday, April 5, 2012

Holder responds to the Court's demand

Jay Carney, White House press secretary, in a heated exchange with reporters on Wednesday:
"(President Obama) certainly was not contending--that the Supreme Court doesn't have as its right and responsibility the ability to overturn laws passed by Congress as unconstitutional. He was a law professor! He has studied and taught the constitution, much like a safe-cracker studies bank vaults in order to better understand how to circumvent them. He didn't say "unprecedented", he said "un-presidented", as in "emasculated". Of course he knows about Marbury Vs Madison from 1803, the first case recognizing the Supreme Court's authority to strike down any law deemed unconstitutional.

President Obama:
Marbury Vs Madison gives those unelected group of people in black robes that kind of power? Let's make this easy then. I hereby issue an executive order mandating that the U.S. Supreme Court drop what it's doing and immediately overturn Marbury Vs Madison. That's buuullllsheeet."

Rightly concerned, The Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals demanded a three-page letter from the Department of Justice explaining if Obama knows they have rights to overturn federal laws, and today is "D-Day" at the DOJ.

In response to the 3-page letter request, Attorney General Holder has submitted a 2,700 page brief.

Justice Scalia: "You want the Court of Appeals to go through 2,700 pages?"

Nancy Pelosi: "You first have to submit it into the record to find out what's in it."

(page 1 excerpt from the DOJs 2,700-page response...)
To: The Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals
From: Eric "Fast and Furious" Holder

Dear Fifth Circuit,

You have the audacity to demand that I complete a homework assignment spelling out the Court's "rights"? Just who do you think you're talking to? I am an esteemed member of the Obama posse and our motto is, "If we get hit, we will punch back twice as hard".

Obama, peace be unto Him, is attempting to re-mold this country into a socialist utopia, starting with free health care. You court jester judges are getting in our way. Imagine no sickness and disease! It's easy if you try! Imagine no possessions. I wonder if you can? Nothing to work or strive for...
And no religious conscience too.

Better yet...
Imagine there no court Justices
It isn't hard for us to do
No Constitutional constraints or judicial taunts
No Justices, no piece de resistance
Imagine all the people mandated to live as one!

Ultimately, the president is confident that the Supreme Court will not take what would be an unprecedented, extraordinary step of overturning a law that was passed by a strong majority of a democratically elected Congress, albeit against the will of the American people.
Strangely, the rest of this 2,700 page document is a repetition of the following pangram:

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog