Sunday, August 30, 2020

"Rumpelstiltskin" Say his name!


In the photo, White Woke college kids surround and confronts a white female diner outside a D.C. restaurant, chanting “White silence is violence!” and demanding she show solidarity for Rumpelstiltskin. Then her husband, Inigo Montoya, returns from the restroom and sees these White Woke college kids surrounding his wife, and promptly unholsters his concealed 9mm and says, "I do not think the word 'violence' means what you think it means."

In the fairy tale, Rumpelstiltskin is an imp-like creature who has the ability to spin worthless straw into gold, and trades the fruits of this skill in exchange for your first-born sons. Rumpelstiltskin is sort of like Bernie Sanders, except Bernie's spinning wheel only produces fool's gold. However, he'll take your children just the same.

A Chattering Teeth Fairy Tale - 

Once upon a time, well-meaning Christian parents sent their baptized children off to college, assuming they would be taught authentic truths and critical thinking. These loving parent's hope was that those 4 years would be spent with fervent study, development and maturity, and that ultimately this time would provide a complimentary layer - like peanut butter on the bread - that worked in union with their core Christian and family values they worked to instill during the child's formative years.

But instead of these children getting instruction from competent purveyors of actual "Truth, Justice, and the American Way," they spent four long years being indoctrinated by tenured marxist, atheist professors who filled these kid's skulls with godless drivel and America-hating white guilt. While their parents assumed they were getting the aforementioned peanut butter in the classrooms, they were instead force-fed the shit sandwiches of progressivism where "up is down," and truth is scorned. 

They were taught to accuse their parent's and those that still embraced objective reality as "science deniers," while they themselves claimed that SUVs and cow farts were destroying the planet, that gender was somehow a social construct, and - most sinister of all - that baby's lives in the womb didn't matter. 

Some of the biggest lies, half-truths and falsehoods taught were on the topic of American history. While these kids had the absolute good fortune to have been born in the greatest country in the history of mankind and therefore be filled with gratitude - they instead learned that they should hate America, the genius founding fathers, the awe-inspiring Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States. 

Instead of falling to their knees in praise and thanks to God Almighty, they were taught by academia, the fake news media, Hollywood elitists and ignorant multi-million-dollar sports figures to kneel in disrespect for our flag and our country. They were filled with more lies that the country is systemically racist. 

They made heroes out of drug-crazed criminals who were killed by police, stating that they were hunted by law enforcement because of the color of their skin and not because they were resisting arrest. They used these false-narratives as a catalyst to pillage, riot and burn down buildings and businesses in the democrat-led cities where they were given free reign to do so. 

Meanwhile, since academia, the fake news media, Hollywood elitists and ignorant multi-million-dollar sports figures ignore the daily bloody massacre of blacks at the hands of other blacks in the big cities (not to mention the black genocide of abortion), they weren't given a second thought by these Woke White college kids either.

But why work so hard to fill these young skulls with so much hate and violence, falsely dressed up as compassion and enlightenment? Because that is the only way to dismantle the civil society built by a religious people of rugged individualism in a capitalist system and replace it with a socialist utopia. For if truth had been taught, then it would be recognized by any rational person that socialism in any form has never worked in the history of mankind. That socialism ultimately leads to rationing, misery, death and destruction at the hands of the all-powerful State. 

Indeed, had there been truth in their instruction, then not even an inebriated, video-game-playing college kid would believe that putting the word "Democratic" in front of the ruinous word "socialism" would somehow transform it into a viable and desirable alternative.

"But health care is a human right!," they will chant. "Yah! Free health care! And while we're at it, free college!... and, and, and THIS flat screen TV! The store owner has insurance, after all! So don't throw that Molotov cocktail just yet... Free TVs!!"

Where will the money come from to pay for all this free stuff? I guess with the piles of cash accumulated after defunding the police and turning our cities into segmented Chaz-like strongholds comprised of White Woke college kids.

Or maybe they expect for the rest of us hardworking stiffs to spin them gold out of our blood, sweat and toil so it can be confiscated and fairly redistributed to the imp-like creature, "Rumpelstiltskin".

Will you say his name?

Saturday, August 29, 2020

Trump & 11-year-old Frank Take Out Rioters

Chattering Teeth News - President Donald Trump invoked the Insurrection Act last night and took back the streets of DC with overwhelming support. "This was not the time for half measures," stated Trump, explaining why he brought in 11-year-old Frank from Virginia. 

These blue-haired and gender -confused rioters never knew what hit them, as Frank plowed through the masses. What the mower missed, the smoke-emitting carburetor finished, sending these anarchists back to their parent's basements with hurt feelings.

Frankie now promises to fire up his weed wacker and take out the weed wack job Democrats in the House.

Monday, August 24, 2020

Trump to win!


Who doesn't love the painting of dogs playing poker? (don't answer that) But if you didn't before, now you will absolutely have to own a print of this canine classic made even better! Just send me a check for $19.999 plus your blank presidential mail-in ballot, and I will send you one of these beauties. 

COMING SOON: Velvet Elvis Votes Trump

Saturday, August 22, 2020

Democrats Push For Voting By E-Mail


Pleased for you to receive from me this email, which I believe to surprise to you. I am big business banker who lives in basement during cold & flu season, so I will be pleased to see if you can help me with voting transaction. Please for you to transfer payment of $5000 today from United States Treasury into my PayPal account (The Nigerian Prince) for compensate of my email expenses and accept my vote for 2020 president candidate, Joe Biden.

P.S. - I have the mandate of two of my senior colleagues to search discreetly and diligently, and they also to make vote mark for Joe Biden. Please to accept this email for 3 votes for Joe Biden which would be of mutual benefit to all.

Best Regards,

Biden: "Once all of the millions, billions and trillions of votes are counted, I will be the... you know, the thing!"

Democrats are pushing hard for voting by mail, with States sending unsolicited millions of ballots out to long-dead individuals and even family pets from voter rolls not scrubbed in decades.  They might as well conduct Ballot Drops from planes and helicopters over the poor neighborhoods to ensure they are not disenfranchised by that bad orange man. 

Their purpose is obvious. They will flood the country with ballots in order to cheat and to overwhelm the system and throw the otherwise landslide win in 2020 for Trump in chaos. 

They never have accepted the results of the 2016 election, and have been trying to overthrow a duly elected president ever since. They are traitors and conspirators. They spied and lied, and after impeaching the president on falsehoods - then passed around pulitzers to the marxist mouthpieces in the complicit fake media.

Throw in a conspiracy that Trump is trying to dismantle the post office, and you have a recipe for more chaos and blood in the streets - a democrat specialty. 


Are you ready?

Thursday, August 20, 2020

Sunday, August 16, 2020

Not a Good Year for this elk

A trail camera recently recorded this elk with a tire necklace in the wild southwest of Denver. Officials believe it's the same elk that was spotted through a scope a year ago doing donuts in a nearby field. The elk appears no worse for wear, though the tread is getting thin, as elk can easily walk 7 to 10 miles a day. Officials would like to catch him and remove the tire, although he is a youngster and is nowhere near retirement.

Residents are being asked to search for his tracks by looking for a symmetric tread pattern indicating extra wear on the sidewall. By this time, he may have picked up a screw.

Experts say the best chance of finding and tranquilizing the elk is during rut season. Rut season must be what we refer to as pothole season in these parts. 

This can't end well for the poor elk. It seems like every time concerned humans try to help an animal... I always think of the seal that was cleaned up after an oil spill and finally released into the jaws of a waiting Orca to the horror of the gender-confused marine biologists on the shoreline.  

Here is my prediction for the poor elk, if it is captured and the tire removed.

At least he will soon be joining Harambe, Cecil and Pedals the bear in animal heaven.

Saturday, August 15, 2020

Today's Chattering Teeth Science Headlines

This is NOT an X-ray of Joe Biden's skull, but rather that of a fish head that shows a vampire parasite masquerading as the fish's living tongue. (yep, it's a thing)

If at first blush you assumed it was an x-ray of Joe Biden's skull, you can be excused for this common error. In fact, the similarities are frightening.

On one hand, you have an unfortunate host who has had it's tongue devoured and replaced in the still-living victim by a buglike isopod, also known as a tongue biter or tongue-eating louse (but his friends call him George Soros). 

This other photo is just some fish with a crustacean for a tongue.

What is still not yet known is whether the fish with the hitchhiking sea monkey tongue that is putting words in the fish's mouth will just be a figurehead for the radical left.

(if you stand at the top of the stairs leading to the Biden's basement, you might hear Joe singing a tune...)

Under the sea

Under the sea

Darling it's better

Down where it's wetter

Take it from me

Up on the shore they work all day

Out in the sun they slave away

While we devotin'

Full time to floatin'

Under the sea

and just because we have displayed this picture of a man with no functioning brain, here is a picture of a man with two brains.

In other science news:

A world-renowned climate scientist who predicted 40 years ago that we only had 20 years left before the ice caps were completely melted- was killed by ice in Greenland.

Who is DaBlade, and why should I believe everything he says?: I am a dedicated part-time independent self-proclaimed Scientolomologist and self-described world renowned leader in sciency stuff. I think I probably have a much higher science IQ than you do. The first year of my blog I decided I didn’t want to be a blogmaster and ended up in the bottom two-thirds of the internet and then decided I wanted to stay and went back to the internet and in fact ended up in the top half of my blog class. I am self-taught and went to home school in my basement on a full academic scholarship. I won the international Woot-court competition. I was the outstanding student in the photoshop'd meme department (as an undergraduate). I graduated with three degrees from undergraduate home school and I’d be delighted to sit back and compare my IQ to yours if you’d like, Frankly. Of course, that may all be damnable lies, but who's paying attention?

Sunday, August 2, 2020

"Lunch Bucket" Joe in Biden's Basement Playhouse!

I remember watching Pee-wee's Playhouse every Saturday morning in my youth from 1986 to 1990 (my late 20's).  I'm not sure if I was the target demographic, but that sh@# was funny. 

Pee Wee , a/k/a Paul Reubens, eventually lost his gig after being arrested in a theater for indecent exposure, which made me think of Joe Biden. We already KNOW Biden is a pervert, with all of the pictures circulating of him smelling & biting young, white girls. 

So what better replacement for Pee Wee as host of a re-imagined Playhouse than "Lunch Bucket" Joe in Biden's Basement Playhouse! 

The premise of the original show (per wiki) is that Pee-wee Herman plays in his fantastic Playhouse in Puppetland. The premise of the reboot will be that Lunch Bucket Joe hides out in his suburban basement in Dementialand. 

All of the original characters return, as the Basement is filled with toys, gadgets, talking furniture and appliances. Hillarity ensues, as the only one who can hear the talking inanimate objects in Dementialand is Lunch Bucket Joe. 

The show will follow the original format, with a stream of guests like Pantsuit Hillary, Crypt keeper Ruthie Ginsburg, Googly-eyed Cowboy Booker, The Dancing Bartender AOC, and the Jihad Twins Rashida Tlaib & Ilhan Omar, just to name a few.

There will be a Show and Tell and animal segment, with the pilot featuring numerous black children bringing in a boxes of roaches while our beloved host is soaking in an onstage kiddie pool. The children reportedly will reach in the pool and rub his blonde leg hairs down while the country continues to burn thru the cartoon window, HAHAHA!

NARRATOR: And now kids, it's time for our weekly cartoon, The Adventures of Lying Dog-Faced Pony Soldier!

This show is filmed before a live studio audience of prepubescent girls for the host to sniff during commercial breaks. 

Secret word of the day... Malarkey!