Saturday, February 11, 2023

Chinese Man O' War

 Chattering Teeth News - Two weeks have passed since the first $5 Chinese spy balloon was shot down by an $8 million dollar AIM-9X Sidewinder missile. President Biden was later told of his bold decision, and he mumbled, "F...f..f.fighter jet. F-22 or F-22 1/2, whatever it takes." 

Now we learn that yet another Chinese Balloon was just shot down over Alaskan airspace, and early reports are disturbing. While some speculated that the first balloon was a sort of trial balloon to gage our response, this latest balloon appears to have been weaponized - and not with a small EMP-producing nuclear warhead - but something far worse and the stuff of nightmares!

Witness whistle-blowers on the ground at the wreckage site are reporting that the latest balloon was dangling several million Chinese Finger Traps on individual 40,000 foot fishing line like some kind of macabre tentacled Portuguese man o' war. 

While the jellyfish's tentacles contain barbed stingers meant to incapacitate small fish and crustaceans, the bamboo finger traps of brightly colored shades of blue, red, green, and purple would certainly attract and paralyze the vast majority of woke America. 

While these finger traps are not particulary deadly (except to ADM Levine's new nail polish) it is predicted that the distraction would allow an unmolested Taiwan invasion.


Sunday, January 29, 2023

Ray "X" Attempts to Orchestrate Violent Unrest in Wake of Memphis Cop Beating


Ray "X" is not the same guy as Ray Epps, The Fed-Protected Provocateur Who Appears to Have Led the Very First 1/6 Attack on the US Capitol. Any similarities are purely coincidental.

Ray X: I probably shouldn’t say this because I’ll probably get arrested... I'll say it. We need to go into the police station!

Chatteringteeth News -What we know:

* The five Memphis police officers who beat a man to death have been fired and are being charged with second-degree murder.

* The Memphis police chief likened the released video to the 1991 Los Angeles police beating of Rodney King that sparked days of unrest in the city.

* so far, the demonstrations have remained nonviolent (just the same random beatings, stabbings, shootings, looting and property damage much like any other night)

The Deep State puppet masters can't be happy with the fact that all of Memphis is not yet ablaze and that full on anarchy has yet to set in. The plan had been going perfectly. Dumb down the police force across the nation so that any intelligent and patriotic male who was currently a police officer would immediately retire or resign, and new recruits of the same would be discouraged. Relax the job requirements and take on felons and violent offenders into the fold. Shake and stir. If only these five cop's skin pigmentation wasn't so dark, there would already be cities across the country errupting. 

Friday, January 13, 2023



Obama-era documents were recently found at a storage space in the garage of his home in Delaware. The classified Obama-era documents purport to expose Michelle Obama as "Big Mike", a transgendered college choom mate of the ex-president.

"OK Choomer.."

Biden told reporters that he was "surprised" to learn that his lawyers found the government documents in his garage. He said he was also "surprised" by the "Snap, Crackle and Pop" his breakfast cereal emitted earlier that morning.

Biden defended storing these highly classified documents in several old coffee cans next to oily rags on a shelf, stating that, "it's not like they're sitting in the street," then leaning in and whispering... "The garage is locked."

Biden is reported to be cooperating fully and completely with the Justice Department's review. Of course, the agent in charge has to wear an Easter Bunny costume in order gain the president's trust.

Danny Ocean: We can rob three Las Vegas casinos simultaneously, but we aren't getting into this garage. It's locked.

"it's not like they're sitting in the street."

FBI agent-in-training, Clarice Starling, was finally able to gain access to the garage by administering a severe hammer blow to the padlock. 

After several minutes of rooting around inside, she found what appears to be Joe Biden's Laptop in the glove compartment of his corvette.

Whatever happens with the discovery of these classified documents, at least we can rest assured that the media will cover it fully.