Monday, October 19, 2020

KAMELA & THE BIG GUY ON THE HOME STRETCH

 Apparently, THE BIG GUY in Hunter's emails who was to receive a 10% cut in a treasonous venture with China is Joe Biden.

But that's none of my business.

Now for something totally unrelated to the politics of the day... a bipartisan animal pic we can all rally around and come together to enjoy.

Made with the Falling Giraffe Meme Generator

Whatever you do, please don't mispronounce Kamela's name.  [<-- WARNING. DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK. THAT"S RACIST]

Saturday, October 17, 2020

Hunter's Hard Drive

 


I can't even count the times this has happened to me.


SHOCKING BREAKING FAKE NEWS UPDATE CHATTERING TEETH EXCLUSIVE!

The legally blind Delaware computer repair shop owner:

“I just don't know what to say, or what I'm allowed to say,” Isaac said. “I know that I saw, I saw stuff. And I was concerned. I was concerned that somebody might want to come looking for this stuff eventually and I wanted it out of my shop.”

According to Rudy Giuliani, We've Only Seen Five Percent of What's on Hunter Biden's Hard Drive

What could be worse than the evidence and emails detailing the meeting "between former Vice President Joe Biden and a top Burisma executive and other "disturbing" items"??? What other stuff could this sicko be hiding?? Just where has he been internet surfing???



 THE END


Friday, October 16, 2020

Jimi Hendrix sings, Hey Quid Pro Joe

 

Hey Joe
I heard you threatened to withhold a loan
To the Ukrainian President, with a Quid Pro Quo
Hey Joe
I heard you brag about that call to Poroshenko
You had him pinned to the ground

Yeah
Yes I did, 
Son of a bitch, he got fired
You know, I caught him messing around, messing around town
Yes I did, he was fired
You know, I caught the prosecutor messing around town
And I gave him the boot
I fired him!


Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Trump's triumphant return

Trump's triumphant return to the White House yesterday could only have been better had he launched his soiled face mask at the Fake News reporters. 





Monday, October 5, 2020

Trumpman


Trump thanks supporters gathered outside of hospital. Gives them a surprise Trumpman signal in the skies over D.C.

Friday, October 2, 2020

Thursday, October 1, 2020

Biting Biden starts to babble

Biting Biden starts to babble

But his banal banter's bitter.

He besmirches with bogus blemish

And insists he'll build back better


Tenacious Trump with testy taunts

Trump tags the teetering twit 

A tirade of truisms tweak the twerp

A trophy winning therapeutic 


Weenie Wallace begins to wangle

Waylays Trump when Biden wobbles

A warranty for the weary weakling 

Weenie Wallace a wonky wally

Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Did that mean orange man hurt your feelings?

Biden IS the face of the democrat party, after Trump was through with him.

A little stream of consciousness from DaBlade... 

 
Did that mean orange man hurt your feelings? F&*k your feelings, and f&*k that nasty old stumbling fool, Joe Biden, and that political hack of a so-called moderator, turned Biden debate tag team partner, Chris Wallace. There is a country to save. Be part of the solution or get the hell out of the way. 

If you're still confused before or after this debate as to who you're voting for, then let me just say that, "you ain't American."

The leftist marxist BLM and anitfa are rioting and looting in our cities and Wallace wants to know if Trump will condemn white supremacists? What a Jackass. 

Forests are burning because of liberal democrat policies and Wallace wants to know if Trump will now embrace global warming? What a complete and utter jackass.

It is a very dangerous world. President Trump has kept us out of wars, has been bringing our troops home, and all the while staring down the barrel of a rebuilt military at the likes of a very evil Russia and China and keeping them in check. He didn't send planes with pallets of cash to our enemies. 

Who wants to return to the obama days of surrender to our enemies and endless apology tours? Did Wallace ask even one question regarding foreign policy? Did Wallace even ask one serious question? "Did you pay $750 in taxes?" "Will you wear a mask?"... Give me a break!

Remember that "Quid pro quo" bs? The real corruption was from from Joe and his son, Hunter. I thought Trump did a great job giving Biden a face wash with that, and his corrupt dealings with the Ukraine prosecutor. The half of the audience who watch MSNBC, CNN or the other democrat propaganda fronts probably didn't even know what he was talking about, having never heard this story before. Good on Trump for shoving this down their throats.

"Will you accept the results of the election? Trump nailed this by reminding Wallace that the leftists never accepted 2016, as evidenced by the weaponizing of Intelligence agencies and the FBI to spy on him, leading to the fake Russia collusion charges and impeachment coup attempt. The largest corruption scandal in our history, yet you're concerned that a billionaire businessman legally used tax laws set up by his opponent?

As for you dipshits that are butthurt that "Trump didn't follow the rules," or that he kept interrupting.... as Butch Cassidy reminds us...  Everyone knows there are no rules in a knife fight.



Monday, September 28, 2020

Debate snippet

 WALLACE: Mr. president, why did you select Amy Coney Barrett?

TRUMP: I wanted to choose a textualist for the Supreme Court. That's a very important word... textualist.

SLEEPY JOE: Excuse me, Chuck...

WALLACE: It's Chris, but anyway.

SLEEPY JOE: What am I saying, Chuck? Stand up, Chuck, let'em see ya! I was just going to say that the senate should wait until after the election when I will get to pick a replacement for Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

WALLACE: Since you bring up the subject, where is your list of potential court nominees? Are you afraid they are too radical to announce in advance?

SLEEPY JOE: No, no Chuck. I would also pick a textilist.

TRUMP: A textilist? did you mean a textualist? I knew he should have been made to take a drug test.

WALLACE: Mr. Biden, the president is correct. You said "textilist", which would indicate you wanted a worker in the textile industry for the court. A person who designs, produces and distributes cloth, yarn and clothing as your Justice. 

TRUMP: I think he meant to say that he's a "testicaless".

WALLACE: Mr. Biden, a textualist is someone who adheres strictly to a text. In this case, the constitution. Something democrats abhor.
 
TRUMP: My textualist uses the best words. This I will tell you.

SLEEPY JOE: Text and words? Why didn't you say so to begin with? It's my lunch time! Clap for that you stupid bastards!

Saturday, September 26, 2020

Trump Selects Coney!

 PICTURED: "Two-up" coney island hotdogs side by side. The Detroit-style coney, with it's runny chili sauce on the left, and the more beautiful and delicious Flint-style coney, with the normal drier (diced beef heart) sauce topping a Koegel's Vienna. What kind of sick maniac would prefer a runny coney that requires a fork!? C'mon, man!


Now on to the news...

If President Trump selects Amy Coney Barrett (ACB) for the Supreme Court, it begs a few follow-up questions.

*Where does ACB stand on the controversial topic of Flint-style coney islands versus Detroit-style coneys?

*Should there be a litmus test between the two to determine her fitness for office? (Yes. I will be performing numerous tests later today)

*If Amy Coney Barrett selected a Detroit-style coney, would she have to wear a barrett to keep her hair out of the coney sauce?

*If Amy Coney Barrett wore a barrett to eat a coney, would the barrett be a coney barrett?


These are the things that I think about and that keep me up at night... 

Speaking for myself, I am a one-issue voter and cannot ever imagine voting for someone who prefers a Detroit-style coney island over my beloved Flint-style in a head-to-head litmus test.

If you're not from Michigan, you may be woefully ignorant on this hot topic so let me get you up to speed.

DaBlade's Chattering Teeth Blog History of Flint:

For many people, the City of Flint is synonymous with General Motors (as well as for more than a few homicides). However, well before cars started coming off the assembly line here, folks were consuming coney dogs at a voracious clip. We have Greek immigrants to thank for coming here and opening their weiner stands in the early 1900s. We also have the Greeks to thank for the invention of the f*&%ing alarm clock in the 3rd century BC, but bringing coneys here makes up for that fiasco. In fact, these red hot beauties are probably the reason GM located here in the first place, and the "Flint-style coney islands versus Detroit-style coneys" debate is also probably the cause of so many shootings here.

Flint Workers GM Sit-Down Strike in 1936 Caused by Coney Shortage


...and was only resolved with the arrival of Flint-style coney vendors


So there you have it. If Trump nominates someone other than Amy Coney Barrett for the Supreme Court later today, we may safely assume she did not pass the coney litmus test, and you should not read this post.

But if you check on Etsy, you may still be able to score an Amy Coney Barrett (below)!


THE END

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

SHOCK! Trump Taps Gun-Wielding St Louis Woman for High Court

 Chattering Teeth News - President Trump answers the left's call for him to postpone nominating a replacement for Ruth Bader Ginsberg's seat by doubling down and tapping Patricia McCloskey, the gun-wielding woman from St Louis. McCloskey, who with her husband, was the barefoot woman who stared down an angry BLM mob outside their home back in June.

"Patricia will make an outstanding Justice and will protect your Second Amendment rights, this I will tell you," said Trump to DaBlade from CT Blog news in his exclusive interview.

McCloskey has already been to the Court in order to give her seat a deep cleaning from the numerous drool stains and satanic markings. She was last seen bonding with the other two woman on the court. She had Kagan in a head lock was overheard telling a racist joke to the hispanic Sotomayer. "I bet you think Roe V Wade refers to the two options to cross the Rio Grande, dontcha?" 

When Roberts tried to intercede, she pistol whipped him in the temple. It was a light tap, as he was only out for a short time. This is the kind of judicial restraint a great jurist shows. Think about how tempting it would have been to pick off a few of those BLM stragglers threatening to burn their house down.

Now things can finally return to normal...

Monday, September 21, 2020

Saturday, September 19, 2020

M. Night Shyamalan’s The Ninth Seat

 


Cole Sear from The Sixth Sense is back, but this time he means business.

Cole Sear: I see democrat people. Walking around like regular people. They don't see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don't know they're brain dead.




Friday, September 18, 2020

Joe Biden new front man for Menudo

 

Chattering Teeth News - Fumbling, mumbling, stumbling... When Democratic candidate Joe Biden stepped to the podium in Florida fumbling with his phone while mumbling, "hang on here..." - and then "Despacito" began to play while Biden slowly stumbled to and fro - The next Latin dance star was born.

"There you go! Dance a little bit, Joe, c'mon..."

*I catch Biden as he exits a back door into the alley of this Florida venue as he fervently waves to an empty parking lot and the wall of an adjacent building... Forrest Gump never waved as fervently from the boat dock when spotting Lt. Dan.

BLADE: Mister Vice Senator Biden! DaBlade here from the Chattering Teeth Blog. May I ask you a few questions?

JOE: Who am I? Why am I here?

BLADE: Still trying to figure that one out myself. Quickly, before your handlers break through this door brace. Why did you play the 2017 hit song "Despacito" from Fonsi?  

JOE:  I've always loved that Arthur Fonzarelli. I tell you what, man. I don't want to jump a shark here, but if I had the talent of any one of those Happy Days folks, I'd be... I'd be... I'd be elected president in a Harris administration by acclamation.

BLADE: Wrong Fozi, sir. 

JOE: *gives the thumbs up* Ayyyyee!

BLADE: Excuse me, but what are those stains all over your white shirt?

JOE: Oh, that's just my lunch. I had never heard of Despacito before. I thought the young folks back stage with the cold hands and vacant stares told me I would be playing "Gazpacho," and I love cold soup with vegetables. I wouldn't go on stage until they got me some Gazpacho. That's where I learned about roaches. And kids jumping on my lap. And I love kids jumping on my lap...

BLADE: Riiiight. Back to tonight. Why did you play that particular song? Some say that the lyrics are inappropriate.. "I want to breathe your neck slowly - Let me tell you things in your ears - So that you remember when you're not with me - Slowly"

JOE: Well, they wouldn't let me play my first choice. That Smell by Lynyrd Skynyrd.


BLADE: Good choice. So is this going to become a regular signature bit at each of your stops?

JOE: When I'm president in a Harris administration, I will mandate social workers go into parent's homes to make sure their kids have their record players on at night so they hear a million, billion more words. C'mon, man!

BLADE: Sir, you will never be president, but I do believe you may have found your special purpose. You can spend the next 4 years of the Trump administration in your basement, singing and dancing your retirement away. May I suggest Desperado by the Eagles...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUJugD0jfpo

[*BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *CRACK*]

BLADE: It looks like your friends were able to unlock the alley door and that's all the time we have today. I will leave with this little diddy for your next stop...



Saturday, September 12, 2020

Were Mueller’s team phones wiped with a cloth?

 It would take a criminal mastermind with experience in covering their own electronic tracks in order to coordinate the wiping of Mueller’s team phones. 

Who could have done this?