Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

 Per this Fox News story, Las Vegas investigators say they've ID'd body found in Lake Mead barrel.

Welcome back, to the continuing adventures of Detective Pun, LVPD. The scene opens at dusk, a rusted metal barrel sits exposed from low water levels on the shore of Lake Mead. The glow of colorful neon from the Las Vegas strip alights the horizon like a macabre northern lights display for the homeless, hopeless and ill-repute.  Detective Jim Pun arrives, wearing his ill-fitting beige trench coat - hair unkempt, as his wandering good eye falls on Dr. Bones, the county coroner, who is already on the scene and singing a tune... 

"♫ Just a castaway, ♫ an island lost at sea, oh..."

Det. Pun: Hey doc, do you have Prince Albert in a can?

Dr. Bones: Let's not do this again...

Det. Pun: Well ya better let him out!

Dr. Bones: The vic. was shot twice in the back of the head sometime in the late 80's and stuffed in this barrel and dropped to the bottom of the lake where it washed ashore in 2022...

Det. Pun: You have me over a barrel, doc. Is he gonna make it?

Dr. Bones: He's dead, Jim.

Det. Pun: Well aren't you a barrel of laughs! From a cask to a casket, eh? I've been tapped to lead this investigation. I'm just gonna roll out the barrel. I don't think we are looking at a suicide. Here is my profile... We're in Vegas, so I suspect we are looking for a one-armed bandit - call him Charlie Tuna - who had just gotten canned at his soup factory, so he takes it out on our vic here like shooting so many ducks in a barrel. How am I doing?

Dr. Bones:How did you pass the police academy?

Det. Pun: Don't be so can-tankerous, doc. I'm on a roll. We need to keep a lid on this, eh doc? So I imagine you need to get this vic. on ice. Is your refridgerator running back at the distillery?

Dr. Bones: Please. I'm begging you...

Det. Pun: Well, you better go catch it! Nature calls, I gotta go to the can.

Fade scene - roll credits

In unrelated barrel news...

The Message in a bottle story reminded me of an old picture in my archives I've often wondered about. Pictured from left to right: my mother, me, brother Greg, brother Donz and my dad. My brother Rick and sister Cindy apparently had better sense than going over Niagara in a barrel. 

I am not sure what my parents were thinking, as this was a very dangerous stunt and there have only been a few documented successful attempts. Ours was successful I'm guessing, though I have no memory of it.  I know this was before the internet, but you'd think there would be some record of this feat.