Thursday, October 1, 2026

Bird Watching

 So this is what I have now resorted myself to... bird watching in my backyard. Yes, I realize I am using the phrase in the opening sentence slightly out of standard grammar, as the correct idiom is to resort to something rather than "resort oneself to." (at least according to the annoying and sarcastic AI Overview. Who asked you?) But I don't blog much anymore, so bear with me.

The wife and I like to hang out in the 3-season room (which we call "the screen room") during the afternoon & evenings watching tv. We have comfy furniture in there, a ceiling fan for warmer days and a space heater when it gets cool. It won't be long before winter arrives and insists we huddle indoors for the next 6 months. 

A few weeks ago, we noticed a hummingbird flutter just outside the patio door, briefly staring at us as if to say, "where's the nectar?" before zooming away in search of better offerings. "let's get a feeder!," I said to the wife. Mrs. DaBlade got on her phone and ordered one from Amazon. In what seemed like only seconds passing, the front door camera alert went off on my phone and indicating it had been delivered. (those deliveries get quicker and quicker). 

We filled it with bird crack and hung on a shepherd's hook by the patio with care, in hopes that the hummingbird soon would be there. It didn't take long. I zoomed my phone camera in for a video. A quick search identified her as a female Ruby throated hummingbird (apparently the husbands are red necks wearing wife beaters). I'm old and semi-retired, so I really got a kick out of this. However, when the bird didn't return the next day, I began long and intensive research (5 minutes on google) and learned these buggers start escaping Michigan during September. Maybe they learned about Gretchen Whitmer from some of the crows?

Well that didn't go well. A new feeder for one sighting - at least until next April. Thankfully the wife also ordered a regular seed feeder for year round birds that was getting noticed. When a wood pecker showed up, I said, "let's get one of them bird feeders with a camera!" I no sooner said this and a package appeared on the porch in violation of the space-time continuum. 

So far, 99.99% of the seed eaters have been between a Black-capped chickadee and a Tufted titmouse. The chickadees remind me of Elvis, what with there black domes and dark sunglasses. The Tufted titmice (Aside from the unfortunate name) remind me of Johnny Bravo, so that is what I call them instead.  We have also had a visit or two from a House Finch and a return of the Downy woodpecker. 

Black-capped chickadee


Tufted titmouse


Downey woodpecker




House Finch


Ruby throated hummingbird (see ya next year!)


Not birds


Katydid


"You know, Blade, just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!"

Wednesday, August 26, 2026

THIS WEEK: SHOCKING HAIKUS THAT AI CREATED ABOUT EVERY SNAPPER MEMBER IN THIS WEEK'S "SLICE"!!

The following was meant for my golf league site, but I thought I would re-post here just to see if this thing was still on. It's been a while. I like to think of that period of Chattering Teeth as "before AI". Life was 'more simpleriest'.  That's why the wife and I watch re-runs of Happy Days.



Oh boy. Even the Fonz has jumped the mechanical shark and is on the AI wagon. So here goes (with a few modifications)...

Back in 1988 when my golf league started, I was sure that we would have flying golf carts by now. Oh sure, we have since reached "the singularity" with Artificial Intelligence, but instead of self-tying sneakers and flying cars, we have AI created memes of Enes Kanter stealing Natasha Cloud's wig. 


Still worse, large data centers being built to address AI's insatiable need for power uses significant amounts of water for cooling (think of the beverage consumption of the average hacker on my golf league on a 90+ degree evening). 


Per an AI generated search (irony intended) these data centers consume "between 1 million and 5 million gallons per day under peak conditions, which matches the daily usage of a town with 30,000 to 50,000 people." Is it any wonder why Lake Mead, the reservoir that services Las Vegas, has water levels down 33% due to this high water demand from the Colorado River. At this rate, the only "bones" being rolled in Vegas will be found in the empty alleys along Fremont Street.

BUT HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS! We have AI to generate golf-themed Haikus featuring The Snappers! No need for creative thinking! If we are going to dry up, we might as will go down with ignorant grins. So I entered the necessary prompts, and this was the instantaneous result...

Here are custom 5-7-5 golf haikus for each pair on your list:


1. Snapper & Tony T

Snapper hooks it left, (5)

Tony T is in the weeds, (7)

Both need better luck. (5)


2. Timmy K & Hollywood

Timmy K chunks shot, (5)

Hollywood just poses nice, (7)

Vanish in the pond. (5)


3. Wolf & Jason

Wolf mutters a curse, (5)

Jason muffs a easy chip, (7)

Pack knee deep in mud. (5)


4. C Money & Cam

C Money is broke, (5)

Which club will Cam snap in half? (7)

Deep into fescue.(5)


5. Shang & Ogy

Shang shanks it way wide, (5)

Ogy throws his heavy wedge, (7)

Total golf despair. (5)


6. Blade & Ed 

Blade slices his putt, (5)

Ed is stuck inside the sand, (7)

Scores are way too high. (5)


7. Mike T & Rick North

Mike T slices right, (5)

Rick North heads south in the pond, (7)

Goodbye Titleist. (5)


8. Furey & Romo

Furey whiffs the ball, (5)

Romo hurls his putter far, (7)

Time to hit the bar. (5)

I'm not sure why AI insisted on counting the syllables at the end of each line (precious ounces of water lost), but we can rest assured that AI has a good grasp on us and this technology is finally being used for the greater good.

Anyhoo, I thought it was funny. And THAT has always been my motivating factor. See ya when I see ya!