Friday, February 19, 2010
Spandex or Plastic?
I believe it was Albert Einstein who once said: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again... especially if that same thing is watching the Olympic Curling competition from the couch through several commercial breaks and expecting an exciting outcome." ...Or something like that.
This is not how I had envisioned my post newspaper career. I always figured it would be me playing shuffleboard on the deck of a ridiculously expensive cruise ship. Oh well. At least there is spandex and drooling involved in both scenarios.
Just so all of you know, most of the above is satire and not necessarily true. I am not spending my time sitting on the couch all day, drooling and feeling sorry for myself, and I never expected a retirement of riches on a cruise ship. I did , however, falsely assume that I would be treated with the consistency and fairness afforded the other departing executives who also found themselves adrift and up the ink creek without a paddle (to continue with the "boat" theme)... but that's for another time.
So in conclusion, that's why I haven't been blogging with any regularity as my computer time has been almost predominately used in actively pursuing employment opportunities. The spandex unitard simply helps prevent chaffing in this endeavor.
OK, it also makes me feel spectacular, ITAWWT?
While I'm here, I might as well take this opportunity to point out a few things I have noticed lately...
In his SOTU address in 1996, President Clinton declared "The era of big government is over." Of course, he was biting his bottom lip and had his fingers crossed behind his back when he said it... but say it, he did.
I am just thankful that Obama, peace be unto him, saw the error of this statement when he poured trillions of dollars into boondoggle projects and future democrat/union slush funds to "stimulate" the economy and save jobs. Sure, the economy continues to shed jobs by the millions, but just think how much worse it could have been.
By the way, I missed Obama's SOTU address. Did he make a declaration that "The era of big Walmart is over", as the behemoth discount retail chain suffers it's first U.S. sales decline?
Great timing. Just as I enter Obama's underground economy, I can't even land a position as a Walmart greeter.
I had my wardrobe all picked out to.
BTW, Tiger Woods owes ME a personal apology. Why do I say this? Well, Heller has been wrong 98.2% of the time, so I'm just playing the odds on this.