Tuesday, December 4, 2012

I think I'm going to "P-p-p-p-p portmanteau"

As far as I know, I have invented two new portmanteaus.

A portmanteau is a word formed by combining two (or more) words to form a new one that retains the phonetic sounds and meanings of the original words used to create it. Everyone has their favorite - like "guesstimate" - or "brunch" - or "spork". 

OK, scratch that last one. Some things should NEVER be combined to form one, as their whole is much worse than their parts. Like spoons and forks. Or better yet, like the boy band One Direction.
Answer: "all of the above"

But I digress (indigresstion?)

OK, try this one. When sportscaster Bob Costa interrupts a football game to bash American gun owners, he was demonstrating "celebrilliteracy".

Definition of celebrilliterate
ce·le·bril·lit·er·ate: When celebrities and media personalities attempt to plumb the depths of their social consciousness, Ignorant of the fundamentals of a given art or branch of knowledge.

It's a good lesson - just stick to your area of expertise. Listening to sportscaster Bob Costas talking about gun control is like watching fish flopping out of water.  Or like Al Gore discussing the weather.  Or when Sean Penn lets syllables escape from his left-wing socialist pie hole. Or any time that community organizer obama talks about the U.S. economy. None of it is pretty.

Here's another portmanteau - see if you can spot it.
I know I shouldn't be a procrastiprepper and probably start canning some tomatoes, storing some potable water and enrolling in target shooting classes at the local gun range, but I'll just get right on that tomorrow. 

Definition of Procrastiprepper (or "Prepcrastinator" if you prefer)
pro·cras·ti·prep·per: Someone who puts off preparing survival plans in advance of an anticipated catastrophic societal meltdown resulting from either nuclear, chemical or biological armageddon, or a logical result of obama's economic policies.  

I admit it. I'm a procrastiprepper, he's a procrastiprepper, she's a procrastiprepper, we're a procrastiprepper, wouldn't you like to be a procrastiprepper too?

However, my plan right now (in the eventual obamazombie apocalypse) is to follow the advice of Detoit's own legendary Bob Seger, from his 1975 hit "Katmandu".

That's why I'm going to Katmandu,
Up to the mountains where I'm going to,
And if I ever get out of here that's what I'm gonna do.
K - k - k - k - k - Katmandu,
That's really, really where I'm going to,
Oh, if I ever get out of here I'm going to Katmandu.

1 comment:

  1. Oh yeah. A sports "journalist" hates one of our basic human rights.