Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Alaskan Cruise - The Lost Blog Diaries (Final Chapter)

Dear Towel Monkey,

To most cruise passengers, you were nothing more than a collection of washcloths and hand towels that were manipulated, rolled, folded and twisted - then left suspended from a hangar strategically placed in their staterooms. But if I may quote Spock from the Wrath of Khan for just a moment, please know this - "I have been, and always shall be, your friend."

I knew you would appreciate that Spock quote, Towel Monkey. After all, we did talk deep into the night sharing our thoughts on all the Star Trek movies (when I returned to the room after a long night spent at The Quill and Compass, or the Schooner Bar). You didn't say much, evidently preferring to just hang in there and listen. But you also didn't judge.

I could have shared any number of the hundreds of pictures taken during my Alaskan cruise of the Inside Passage. But when you've seen one snow-capped mountain range, Bald Eagle, Humpback and Killer whale or Glacier, you've seen them all. But you, Towel Monkey, were unique (other than the other 1200 or so stateroom versions).

That is why I have deep regret for how I treated you that next morning.  'Inside passage' indeed.

Now before I get all sorts of hate mail comments from PETTA activists (People for the Ethical Treatment of Towel Animals), please know that I used every part of the little fella. Like an Alaskan Inuit carving up a whale kill, Every washcloth and towel was used and nothing was left to waste.

Ahhh, but do not grieve, blog. It is logical. The needs of the cruise ship passenger outweigh the needs of the Towel Monkey.

"...of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most... human."



  1. That DOES look like a monkey! You are amazingly funny.
    HOPE you had a marvelous time!

  2. Very good DaBlade. May the farts be with you. ~:)

  3. That little fella gets around. Towel elephants too.
    But in this case, not my circus, not my monkey.
    Welcome to The Voyage Home.

  4. Z - Awesome time! Thanks.

    Sparky - Nanu pee ewe!

    Ed - We were visited by the towel monkey, a towel elephant, and a towel armadillo (I think... the wife had misstreated it before it could be identified) however, I never got a white towel whale!

    He tasks me. He tasks me and I shall have him! I'll chase him 'round the moons of Nibia and 'round the Antares Maelstrom and 'round perdition's flames before I give him up!