Thursday, May 7, 2020

The Emu's Court

Chattering Teeth News - A Michigan family is happy now that their 6-foot-tall emu has been found playing in another resident's sprinkler about a mile from home one day after escaping. [yes, that is a real story]

However, now they fear the repercussions to their beloved pet for it's refusal to continue to shelter-in-place at this Oakland County farm less than an hour's drive from DaBlade's Blog Bunker.

It seems that Gov. Gretchen Whitmer learned of this 25-lb bird's selfish neighborhood jaunt and break for freedom, and she wants to set an example for all of the other bird brains in this state who might get a similar idea.

Whitmer has brought in Dallas State District Judge Eric Moyé to preside over the trial against the Emu. Judge Moyé is in the news for jailing the Texas salon owner for a week for defying virus shutdown order in order for her to selfishly feed her family.

Whitmer loved this raw bit of absolute fascism and overreach by the judge that she knew he was the one she needed to get this bird the justice he deserves, never mind the legal minutiae on how she can use a Texas judge for a Michigan trial.

What you are about to witness is real. The participants are not actors. They are the actual people  (and fowl... you decide which is which) who have already either filed suit or been served a summons to appear in a Michigan Whitmer Kangaroo court. Both parties in the suit have agreed to dismiss their court cases and have their disputes settled here, in our forum: The Emu's Court.

DESPITE NOT BEING A FLIGHT RISK, the judge sentenced Darwin the Emu to having her wings clipped and her legs removed, smoked over night and slathered in Texas-style Barbecue.

Doug Llewelyn: According to Darwin, she just wanted to stretch her legs and maybe get her hair did. Quarantining in the pen can take a toll on the emu doo, after all. She was playing in the neighbor's sprinkler to get a good washing prior to getting the style. Taking the law into her own useless feather hands was a good choice in this case, as she looks stunning!

viewer email: “I find it outrageous and out of touch that during this national pandemic, a judge, in a county that actually released hardened criminals for fear of contracting COVID-19, would smoke an emu for going to her hair salon."



  1. Before we end up in trial, let’s have a full investigation into this astounding incident. First, is this the LiMu Emu we see in the Liberty Mutual commercials? If so, where’s Doug ... LiMu’s (Darwin’s) handler ... the unfeeling bastard that ties LiMu into a side car while traveling a high rate of speed scaring the bejesus out of everyone on the motorway?

    Anyway, why is the State of Michigan suddenly (and without provocation) discriminating against Darwin Emu? This could be a precedent-setting civil rights case and if the lawyers representing Darwin are at least as competent in the law as Biden is in sniffing, this case could go on for years. We’re talking about gazillions of Michigan taxpayer money paid out to Darwin Emu (placed in trust until Darwin reaches the age of maturity, which in Emu years is 125 people years) —an award, while not paid out immediately, can be used as collateral for a high-dollar signature loan.

    I believe this is a case of ornithine discrimination because I don’t see any state officials harassing Shi-tzu’s or donkeys.

    By the way, Kid had his wings clipped once for doing about the same thing ... busting loose. More than this, I cannot say other than the fact that it also involved Gretchen Whitmer. What a small world we live in. Corrigendum: What a small disturbing world we live in.

    1. Thank you for you insight on this matter!
      The financial repercussions are horrible!

    2. Mustang, I had forgotten about the Liberty (Biberty) Emu and I think you are correct. And for the record, I hope Darwin eventually wins a huge settlement so he can pay me back for all the free golf I've paid for him! (btw, Darwin can't putt worth a dang).

      As for kid busting loose from his pen and running afowl of Gov Whitmer, I don't think that was him. We have closed the border between Ohio and Michigan and have built a big, beautiful wall just this side of Toledo.

  2. They better not hurt that bird.

    Mustang apparently has me confused with Adam Schiff, or maybe Jerry Nadler, who will share a lead role in the next Batman vs Penguin feature film.

    1. I am not a big fan of the spandex and cape super hero movies, but I might just tune in to that one :)

  3. Yesterday afternoon I had a little time to kill and he cruised through a few left wing, Progressives blogs, just taking a look to see what they were chattering , or bull taping about.
    You would think they might be talking about their candidate Biden and his positives.
    Alas, not one of the liberal sites That I visited spoke at all about the positives of Joe Biden.
    No one on those lib sites mentioned Joe’s intellect,Joe’s accompaniments, Joe’s successes…..some did say Joe was a “nice guy.” No one even mentioned the news about General Flynn. I just thought it was a bit unusual no one really wanted to talk much about Joe Biden. …but they sure did want to talk about Donald Trump….and about Russia again.
    I guess that’s all that that can do is try to get Trump out by any crooked way they can.
    Because they don’t have anything else

  4. Nobody knows of any accomplishments Joe has ever been responsible for. Not even Jill, his Doctor sister-wife.