Tuesday, March 23, 2021

keep your immigrants fresh!

Reynolds Wrap® Aluminum Foil has been saving time in the kitchen since 1947 - And NOW, thanks to the Biden White House, at the southern border!

Aluminum Foil can be molded to any shape you like, whether your illegal immigrant is an unaccompanied child or a virus-infected terrorist. You just wrap those swarms in foil to keep them fresh without having to worry about getting a dish back. We call it, wrap and release.

Organize your latest catch!

Foil can also be used to minimize cleanup, and convenient for freezer storage for the high volume of those who die in the processing. No matter, they can still vote democrat.

Q: Do you wrap the immigrant with the shiny side in or out? 

A: Many border cage pitmasters claim that the shiny side of the aluminum foil should face in to reflect the heat back towards the meat. Others swear by radiating the heat away from the leftovers. I guess it would depend on whether you the border of the Arctic circle or the equator.

Q: Should we line the cages with foil and poke fork holes into the foil-wrapped immigrants to allow air flow?

A: Not unless you want sporadic grease fires. Keep them burritos (and burritas) wrapped up tight!

Q: My immigrants are wrinkly!

A: Foil paper creases very easily. In fact, it creases so easily, you often cannot flatten out even a small wrinkle. Line up your hermanos and hermanas edges and crease carefully, or else your entire border will be wrinkled.

Q: I prefer reusable beeswax wrap on my illegal catch.

A: Let us know how that works out for you!


  1. These do not look like the advertised Cage Free migrants.

    Now I need a chicken fajita and a couple floutas.

    1. Good eye, Kid. These are not free range immigrants, so you know they are chock full of antibiotics.

      Flautas do sound good. I always opt for the hard corn shells at home also... not a limp flour tortilla fan here.

  2. Ha ha ha haaaaa. Brilliant! Thanks, Jerry. Next time I go to our neighborhood designer Walmart, I'll stock up on tin foil ... anticipating the third, fourth, and fifth wave of Covid. Most of our illegal fare in FL lives in Miami, which translated from the original Seminole, means "What tha ....?"

  3. Why thank you. mister Mustang. However, I'm guessing there will be a run on foil at the local Walmarx as this new trend of foil wrapping the immigrants takes hold. All that will be left on the shelves will be the rolls of paper towel that President Trump used to throw to relief workers. Remember how demeaning the press told us that was?

  4. When tin foil hats are not enough....