Monday, January 25, 2010

Do you accurately interpret my verbiage that I am enunciating?

Let me be clear. Today's blog isn't about Hasek, bologna, or even a random South Park clip. In fact, I am not sure what "I am saying" until I get to the end. At that point I may let you know. In the meantime I have no expectations and nor should you.

Do you know what I am saying?

I believe it was Mickey Redmond, Red Wing broadcaster and former player, who once described Dominik Hasek as a finely-tuned Maserati. That is, when Hasek was healthy "The Dominator" was one of the greatest goaltenders in the modern era. The knock against Hasek was that he was injury-prone and like a high-performance sports car, wouldn't leave the garage if he had a scratch or a hangnail.

I bring this up because it occurred to me that this described my lack of blogging. Here I've been selfishly pondering long-term self-preservation strategies (after being laid off a couple of weeks ago) instead of laying down a daily high-performance blog of snarky Obama observations that at the very least were self-amusing.

Do you sufficiently comprehend my utterances?

I guess I haven't felt very funny recently. Maybe I will try the Steve Martin technique of inserting a slice of bologna in each shoe in order to feel funny again....

Nah. In this economy it's best not to waste two slices of bologna, or what I like to call "Obama Steak".

BTW, my resume is currently being constructed and I am debating whether or not to have the phrase "finely-tuned Maserati" included in there somewhere. I think it would fit nicely after "Expertise at shooting mind bullets of motivation" and "Pwn'ing of the Pythagorium Theorum" in the 'skilz section'.

So in conclusion, my only purpose today was to let my friends know I'm still around and doing just fine, and I am optimistic on future prospects. If anything changes to the negative, please don't be surprised if I have a "DONATE" button added to the blog asking for you to send me your spare bologna slices.


  1. An entire blog, 1000 words stated when 3 would do...have you thought about politics?

  2. You get me! You really, really get me!

  3. Blade never fear- if you need bologna slices I've got you covered and by me saying bologna slices that's exactly what I mean. I just want to be perfectly clear that bologna slices means just that and is not a euphemism for cold hard cash which I stuff in my shoes to make me feel happy!

  4. I'm reminded of Casey, I think he liked bolgna too.

  5. Pic Pic- No wonder your shoes are so big! :)

    Chuck- Casey and I share a secret love of Olive Loaf.