Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Calling Doctor Elvis!

The title of this news story (Doc dressed as Elvis revives Vegas marathon runner) pretty much tells you all you need to know.

We do learn this additional information from the story:
* A female runner passed out at the Mandalay Burger Bar in Las Vegas.
* The "Doc" who administered the CPR is an anesthesiologist
* He was wearing an Elvis jumpsuit, sideburns and scarf.
* The revived woman gave him a weird look and told him she was OK.
* Oh, he also got married at a run-thru chapel during the race.

Any questions?

As usual, I have some.

Was the good doctor dressed as the young and spry Elvis, or was he the fat E? One might assume he was the former, since he was running in this half-marathon. But that would wrongly assume there are no Morbidly Obese Runners. (If you make the mistake of actually clicking the prior link, I bet you "a dollar to a donut" you don't make it through the entire clip).

Also, is it a good idea to consume a bacon double cheeseburger after running 13 miles? OK, so we don't know that is what she ate, but I think it's safe to assume this woman didn't order fruit and a Gatorade at the Burger Bar.

See, this is exactly why I don't run 13 miles.

Was the doctor and his wife married by an Elvis impersonator at the run-thru chapel? Suspicious Minds want to know.

Some things will have to remain a mystery. It must be true that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

The play on words in the first sentence of the story using Elvis' hit "Blue Suede Shoes" reminded me of that 1975 song parody titled "Mr. Jaws" by Dickie Goodman. For some reason, I remember thinking that the shark from Jaws answering a reporter's questions with other popular song clips was absolutely hilarious back in the day. Remember... "We are here on the beach..."?

Made me wonder what Dickie would do with the Doctor Elvis story above if he had to relay it using only Elvis song titles...

Dickie: Hello once again everyone, it's your action news reporter on the scene at the Mandaly Burger Bar in Las Vegas with the lady who was just resuscitated by Elvis.
Lady: Viva Las Vegas.
Dickie: Indeed. So what happened?

Lady: I'm in this marathon just Blowin' In The Wind and I thought to myself, "You Better Run because They say that True Love Travels On A Gravel Road". That's when I Got A Feelin' In My Body. A Tender Feeling.
Dickie: That's When Your Heartaches Begin?
Lady: Almost. I was thinking I Need Somebody To Lean On, then I Slipped I Stumbled I Fell.
Dickie: Hurt?
Lady: How Do You Think I Feel?
Dickie: All Shook Up... One Broken Heart For Sale.
Lady: Don't Be Cruel.
Dickie: Relax.

Dr. Elvis: That's when I Come Along. "Patch It Up,"," I thought.
Lady: I'm thinking It's Over... Help Me Make It Through The Night.
Dickie:What did you do doc?
Dr. Elvis: When in doubt, Shake Rattle and Roll.

Lady: That's when I opened my Spanish Eyes and saw this Lonesome Cowboy. I said, "Who Are You (Who Am I)?"
Dr. Elvis: So I says, "You Don't Know Me but Welcome To My World".
Lady: You're The Reason I'm Living.
Dr. Elvis: That's All Right mama. I'm just a Big Hunk O' Love.
Lady: I got weirded out by that, so I says, "Release Me."
Dr. Elvis: Reconsider Baby.
Lady: It's Now Or Never... My Wish Came True. He Let Me go.

Dickie: Saved... How Great Thou Art!
Dr. Elvis: I Did It My Way for sure. Happy Ending.
Lady: Only The Strong Survive... I've Got A Lot O' Livin' To Do.

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