Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Is this "the most entertaining, inspiring and unusual" blog post ever written?

It was May of 2008 when I originally blogged and posted my Personal Letter from Steve Martin (below) that he sent me around 1980 (give or take).

While I have always personally treasured this letter, I had no idea that it would one day be deemed "the most entertaining, inspiring and unusual letter" anyone has ever written in the course of human history. AND IT WAS MAILED TO ME!

I sense that you may have just sprayed your (coffee/liquor/energy drink) out your (nose/pie hole/sphinxter) and on to your (PC monitor/smart phone screen/spandex unitard) as you read that last paragraph, so I'll give you a moment to get cleaned up.

Better? Now I know what you might be thinking. "Just where does this guy get off thinking he is the recipient of 'the most entertaining, inspiring and unusual letter' ever conceived and written by the entirety of the world's most brilliant and talented minds?" and/or... "I hope this coffee stain comes out of my Lederhosen."

Well don't just take my word for it. There is a book coming out this October on this very subject titled -

Letters of Note: Correspondence Deserving of a Wider Audience [Hardcover]

By Shaun Usher - Author, Compiler Extraordinaire, and Curator of the World's Most Curious Correspondence.

Book Description (per Amazon.com) Letters of Note is a collection of one hundred and twenty five of the world's most entertaining, inspiring and unusual letters, based on the seismically popular website of the same name - an online museum of correspondence visited by over 70 million people...

Letters of Note is a celebration of the power of written correspondence which captures the humour, seriousness, sadness and brilliance that make up all of our lives. Including letters from: Queen Elizabeth II, Elvis Presley, Charles Schulz, Leonardo da Vinci, Iggy Pop, Fidel Castro, Anais Nin, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Amelia Earhart, Charles Darwin, Roald Dahl, Albert Einstein, Dorothy Parker, John F. Kennedy, Groucho Marx, Charles Dickens, Katharine Hepburn, Mick Jagger, Steve Martin, Clementine Churchill, Ray Bradbury, Kurt Vonnegut and many more.

So now you might be thinking, "OK, I get that your Personal Letter From Steve Martin is in this collection, but it is just 1 of 125 historical letters, yet you assigned it the number one slot of all time. Narcissistic much?"

Hey! Come at me again like that you rodeo clown and I will ban you from my blog thoughts! I base my assertions on the following email I recently received from the source himself, who obviously has designated my Personal Letter From Steve Martin as the REPRESENTATIVE sample and the BEST OF THE BEST! Subjectivity aside, who better than the author to make this call?

Hello! Quick question. Would you object to your Steve Martin letter featuring in GQ Magazine's November issue? It's for a piece I'm writing to promote the Letters of Note book and I reckon that particular letter would be perfect for their readership. (This would be GQ in the UK only, I think.)
Thanks! Hope you're well.

They say Jerry Lewis is big in France and David Hasselhoff owns Germany. I guess I can settle for the United Kingdom... Let the onslaught of interview and letter signing requests begin.

Now the voices in my head suggest you may be thinking, "C'mon Jerry! Check yourself, don't wreck yourself! Drop your egocentric, self-centered and conceited attitude. Steve Martin wrote the letter, NOT YOU! It just arrived in your mailbox. Big whoop!"

I'll give you a "big whoop". Take that! (part of my left ear is now removed. Hey, I'm not the first artistic genius in human history exhibiting mild quirkiness).

Consider this. Jonas Salk cured polio, not the first recipient of his vaccine. However, what if there existed a catalyst that inspired the eventual global eradication of this once deadly virus? Shouldn't THEY AT LEAST be given a wiki mention? What if the vaccine's first recipient was actually responsible for giving the good Dr. Salk the medicine's recipe?

And with that, dear friends, I offer as 'exhibit A' the following fan letter I wrote and sent to Steve Martin (and hundreds of my favorite movie stars, musicians, atheletes and cartoon characters in the 1970s and 80s). As you can see, I wanted it to be all-encompassing and time-saving (hey, my newspapers weren't going to deliver themselves).

Will THIS letter from "a teenage boy named Jerry" unseat my Personal Letter From Steve Martin as "the most entertaining, inspiring and unusual letter" anyone has ever written in the course of human history BECAUSE it inspired the next best letter? Chicken or the egg, my friends. Chicken or the egg. At the very least, this never before now published correspondance may act as a time capsule by shining the light on how this teenage boy named Jerry from Flint misspent his youth.

Dear _____________

I am writing you this fan letter to let you know how much I
A) laugh/cry
B) sweat
C) Curl into the fetal position and whimper

every time I (watch, listen, robot dance) to one of your
A) movies and/or tv appearances on one of the two channels we receive.
B) cardboard records I cut out from the back of my Cap'n Crunch cereal box.
C) Olympic Curling events.
___________, next time you pass through Flint, please stop by and say ________ to your favorite fan. I 'm usually done with my paper route by 5PM (regardless of what my district manager might claim).

I'll have mom set an extra plate of slumgullion at the table and then we can go ride
A) the metal farm animals balanced on coiled springs at the Freeman school playground.
B) bikes to Mary's Dairy on Circle Drive and buy beer.
C) the hookers on Dort Highway.

Jerry Carlson

Give my first grade teacher, Mrs. Thurman, some credit, for based on my first grade report card she obviously was a very scary judge of talent.

Jerry can be reached via email at dablade at snappers golf league dot com if you would like an electronic correspondence from the author of the self-proclaimed world's most entertaining, inspiring and unusual blog (and assuming you can decipher my actual email from the complicated algorithm encoded here).


  1. I have had no use for Steve Martin since I found out he was juggling kittens ;-)

    BTW I thought I was lucky to have gotten a Christmas card from George and Laura Bush.

  2. The kittens knew the risk when they joined that circus. And sorry, but the Christmas card from George and Laura Bush is not on the list. That is very cool tho :)

  3. Wouldn't it be ironic and somewhat iconic if you were on page 73...just like Navin R. Johnson was in the phone book?

  4. It's those cans! He hates those cans.