Thursday, September 12, 2019

Politicians in cars getting Cheeseburgers

BLOG ANNOUNCER GUY: Good afternoon, and welcome to another exciting episode of Politicians in Cars Getting Cheeseburgers, with your host, President Donald J Trump!

[theme music - Glenn Miller's opening of In The Mood starts the show!!!]

SHOW RECAP: Whether Trump is entertaining visiting dignitaries, royalty from overseas, business tycoons - or just Whenever he gets a hankerin' for a late night cheeseburger - the president calls down to his secret motor pool to have James 'Mad Dog' Mattis pull around to the South Lawn door for a quick exfil and gettaway from CNN fake news reporter, Jim Acosta, who is usually hiding naked in some White House bushes taking notes (or something).

Mad Dog has been President Trump's wheelman and impromptu valet ever since he resigned as Secretary of Defense last December. Today, he is driving a mini eco car in order to throw off the press pool, who would never dream that Trump would ever ride in an environmentally friendly car. What they don't know is that Trump had his smart cars retrofitted to run on high octane Polar Bear blood.

...and now, on to the show!!! [raucous applause]

In this week's episode, President Trump takes John Bolton for a ride. The National Security Adviser thinks he is being treated to a Big Mac from the boss, but actually Trump tells him that his services are no longer needed at the White House, and instructs Mad Dog to pull over and throw Bolton out at the corner of First Street and Union Station Plaza Northeast.

This latest move has once again stymied the fake news media who hate John Bolton and his hawkish foreign policy positions, yet hate the president even more. Trump calls this pulling the rug with the fake news media. He did the same thing with the firing of James Comey, whom the leftists hated while he was FBI director, but suddenly loved him after Trump fired him.

Now that John Bolton is out as National Security Advisor, who is the next in line? Chattering Teeth News has it on good authority (made up) that MICHAEL Bolton will soon be named to fill the slot.

Before anyone feels sorry for the departing Bolton, John has signed with Chattering Teeth Publishing to record this new album...

(yes, those last 2 are repeats of mine but I like them, so...)



  1. You neglected the offer to sue you over the repeats, so I won't.
    So, we're trading "The Mustache" for "The Hair"?

    1. Sometimes I have to go back in the blog time machine and pick my own pocket. I am a man before my time.

  2. hahaha. I can see this Totally happening.

    Mike Bolton better hope that 5 inch doesn't decide that there is an enemy bogey starboard.