Sunday, June 17, 2018

Cruz Crushes Cryin' Kimmel

CHATTERING TEETH NEWS - All 3 of Cryin' Jimmy Kimmel's regular viewers to his little late night bitch sessions were treated to days and days of bad-natured trash talk about Ted Cruz leading up to the Blobfish Basketball Classic matchup. After almost 2 hours (including Jimmy's "cry break time outs) Ted cruised to an easy 11-9 victory

“The reason this happened is because I called Cruz a blobfish,” Kimmel whined. “And he did not like that … so he challenged me to a charity game of one-on-one and he proceeded to spank me repeatedly up and down the floor.

Not sure how I lost. I worked on my game with the former president for weeks!


  1. In such competitions, a sword fight is better for deciding a victor.

  2. LOL. Hey I think you're unduly dissing obama's athletics though. He did score 37 in a game of bowling and got a baseball halfway to home plate once. Then of course, here he is like a boss with the pumping iron weight training stuffs .

  3. Jess. Great idea. Maybe it'd go something like THIS. Kimmel should get used to disappointment.

    Ed, Always defer to Jess when it comes to sword fights.

    Kid, Juiced Obama! HA! Why wasn't he elected to all of the sports hall of fames within the first year of his presidency? A special counsel should be appointed to investigate that travesty of justice.

  4. "missing his first FOURTEEN attempts", but a big basketball player! :-)
    COuldn't happen to a nicer guy! HA!

  5. Z, a basketball game between obama and cryin' Kimmel might never end! :)