Friday, May 23, 2014

Meet The Ferals!

It's a modern day "odd Couple" story about two diametrically opposed polar opposites who got married on their first date after meeting at the zoo. (Yes, I know this is a cheap Dharma & Greg ripoff, but I've refreshed it to speak to the "Two Americas" of today).

The promo might go a little something like this:

They say opposites attract.
Rolf is a right-wing Christian conservative, and resident Sheriff of his small town. Guenon is a left-wing progressive marxist, and resident yoga instructor, dope smoker and part-time Palm Reader.

Rolf likes his steaks rare, while Guen is a strict vegetarian.

Rolf believes that marriage is a sacred covenant between a man and a woman, and Guen's first legal spouse took batteries and always caused her a commotion when going through airport security.

But perhaps the biggest difference between them is also the very thing they have most in common. Namely, a very unique childhood. It was similar in that Rolf Feral was raised by a pack of wolves, while Guenon was raised by gorillas.

It is their most challenging difference in that Rolf was abandoned as a toddler and raised by wild wolves in the forests of Yellowstone. She was also abandoned as a toddler only to be raised by a band of Mountain Gorillas. Not wild primates in the mists of a dense and remote rainforest deep in the African bush, rather in captivity at the San Diego zoo - somehow evading discovery in the overgrown gorilla enclosure for several years.

While Rolf learned the values of family and self-sufficiency from an early age, Guenon learned to be dependent and addicted to the entitlements handed down to her from the omnipotent zoo handlers that fed her band every day, and all they had to do was pick nats and fling poop.

That's it so far with the pilot episode. I'm sure hilarity will ensue, as Rolf works hard and plays by the rules, while Guen and her friends continue to break things and fling poop.

Stay tuned. I'll let you know if the networks return my calls.


  1. One of those inter-networks deals where it plays on Fox and MSLGBTNC

  2. Sounds like you've been watching C-SPAN broadcasting the Senate meetings again ... [roflol]

  3. I think it's one of the best human interest series ever envisioned.

    First episode:

    The wedding night, in the wedding bedroom, all the furniture has been stacked into one corner. Geun enters, dressed in a seductive nightgown, and exclaims: "Goodness Rolf, what have you done?"

    Rolf answers: "Well, I told you I never had sex with a woman, but if it's like sex with wolves, we're going to need all the room we can get."

  4. Jess: I don't know what to say. That's funny.

  5. Ed, MSLGBTNC (that's awesome) will not want this pilot, because unlike Dharma & Greg, where Dharma's free spirit ways always won the day over Greg's uptight conservatism, the moral of the Ferals will be quite the opposite.

    Sparky, it was "doodle in the margins", common core blog day here at the spacious studios of Chattering Teeth.

    Jess, If you're making a pitch for this to be a joint project, welcome aboard! That was funny. We know Ed would watch!

  6. Blessed Memorial Day weekend sweet friend!!! xoxox:)