I think it a little bizarre for a RINO like Paul Ryan to be making a list of demands when he instead should be adding to a lengthy Mea Culpa list.
Cue wavy lines for another Chattering Teeth dream sequence...
Paul Ryan adds to his conditions for serving as House Speaker. Now that the tide of support seems to be going in his favor, he's doubling down.
RYAN: I cannot and will not give up my family time. And by "family time", I mean I will not miss one weekend sitting on my couch in Wisconsin, wearing my cheesehead hat and watching the Packer's game. I know one of the Speaker's main jobs has been to raise money for colleagues. Well, you're welcome to put some money down on the Packers yourselves.
CT NEWS: Mr. Ryan, are you saying you plan on treating the Speakership like a 40 hour per week job?
RYAN: 40 hours? I don't think so. I'm not a machine. I will also require long lunches. Walks in the park... and do you think this hair gels itself? No, I'd say we can agree on a good 2 or 3 hours of solid Speakership each week, not counting the times we go on break.
CT NEWS: Earlier this week, you stated, "we need to move from being an opposition party to a proposition party." Can you expound on that?
RYAN: It's not a deal breaker for me. I could live with us being an Imposition party if we can't get a unanimous agreement on that proposition thing. I mean, I'll even accept an agreement that we move from an opposition party to a Supposition party...
RYAN: Can I get an Amen for a Malposition party?
CT NEWS: Any other conditions you'd like to add, sir?
RYAN: Yes. We need to unify as a party and rally around the radical idea that I am not a complete doofus. I don't want to hear anymore talk about how I helped Romney lose the last election by losing my debate with Joe Biden. In fact, I demand each member of the Freedom Caucus give a filibuster on the subject, stating I dominated... and complimenting my hair.
What a waste of hair gel.