Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Seal on the highway

Elephant seal repeatedly tries to cross California highway
Earlier, CHP Officer Andrew Barclay says he got a face-full of hot breath and saliva while trying corral this extremely irritated mammal.

Barclay said the elephant seal had "a lot of weight behind her... So she was moving us pretty easily, a lot of force."
Hmmm... Sound like anyone we know? Hillary? That you?
"What we've seen is she's obviously still trying to get out of the water. She's very adamant she's going to cross this stretch of roadway," Barclay added.

Which begs the question... and I'll bite...

Q: Why did the Elephant seal repeatedly try to cross a California highway?

A: To give the 30,000+ unemployed California Millennials with Marine Biology degrees something to do in 'their field'.

I'm just glad there are folks willing to stand on the side of the road holding rescue signs. I have no idea how smart these seals are, but apparently we know they can at least read English (putting them far ahead of the average California High School student).

Seriously, there is a regular dragnet of border patrol keeping this poor seal from crossing the highway. Maybe this little fella has an aunt in Sonoma. Is Sonoma NOT a sanctuary city?

Border security. It can be done. Now back in the water you go. Trust me. These well-intentioned liberals know what's best for you.

Born free, Fluffy! Swim away!!


  1. The mother seal was just trying to get across so that her seal puppy would have entitlement to free health care, squid stamps and a housing supplement. These evil road blockers must be Trumpsters.

  2. How insulting to the elephant seal to call her a Hillary! Why, why, that's seal-ist at the very least and should be against the law. ~:)

  3. That can't be what is meant by "Sealing Pavement".

  4. I've seen some of those California celebrities on the televisions, so I'm not 100% sure the seal isn't one of them, and the media is trying to cover a clandestine trip for doughnuts.

  5. dr h, I agree. This momma seal is almost as big as the welfare mommas in Flint. Someone needs to redistribute those fishsticks.

    Sparky, That's only the second time I've ever been called a seal-ist. Maybe I was a little unfair to the large, blubbery mass.... the seal. Not Hillary :)

    Ed, I'm guessing it depends how fast you're going.

    Jess, I like the theory. I.m only glad there is not a gauntlet of papparazzi lining the street when I make my donut runs.