Today, I'd like to unveil my 2016 Blog New Year's Resolution #6. But before I do, let's recap the top 5 resolutions I carry over from year-to-year.
#1 I will make every effort to post on a more regular basis, even when on temporary asylum in a Russia airport.
#2 This blog will persevere to obtain the rest of the story through investigative reporting (googling) and keeping an inexpensive hooker on retainer.
#3 Iwill make evry efort to proofr-ead at least 10% of my bloogs 6efore posting.
#4 I promise the continued arrangement of words in such a way as to project flowery rhetorical flourish and self-defecating humor (without the aid of a teleprompter... or diapers).
#5 DaBlade will continue to wear lederhosen while executing this blog until (A) Everyone reads his scribblings daily, or (2) Lederhosen becomes mainstream business-casual attire.
I now will officially add...
#6 I promise to no longer use sarcasm as a lazy form of humor in this blog because I now realize sarcasm is actually hostility disguised as humor. sarcasm derives from the Greek word “sarkazein” which literally means “to tear or strip the flesh off.” The last thing I want as your blog host is to offend the atheists, the secular humanists, the progressives, the marxists and/or the effeminates and transgenders. That's a mouthful. Let's just call them democrats. Or "freaks" if you prefer. In a nutshell, I just want the freaks to consider the Chattering Teeth Blog their very own internets "safe space".
Be safe in your New Year's celebrations tonight. I think I may spend it by going to see that new movie titled "Concussion". I think it's a movie about how football can cause headaches, or something. Hey, it has Will Smith with a bad fake accent in it, so it has to be good. I'll just grab a couple Appletinis at the concessions for me and my new good buddy, Kenneth.
Hope I find a parking spot!
I'm glad you decided to not offend the liberals. They're so thin skinned, a passing breeze will cause bruising.ReplyDelete
Well, it looks like you should be all set for tonight. You've got the top 3 things for a memorable night at the drive-in - booze, a hot date and a bad movie. Enjoy and Happy New Year cuz!ReplyDelete
So you were Lederhosen too? I thought I was just a freak (not that it can't still be true) ... *giggle*ReplyDelete
Happy New Year silly man. Hope your day is bright and safe. ~:)
#6. Were you being sarkazeinic?ReplyDelete
Jess, I'm turning over a new leaf. It's a poison oak leaf, but a new leaf just the same.ReplyDelete
dr h, Wanna join? There's room in the trunk!
Sparky, Leather Lederhosen for motorcycling? That was you I saw on I75! Happy New Year to you!
Ed, Well, it is still 2015 as of this posting. Starting tomorrow, I swear!
Whoever said nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door...oh wait Jerry..is that sarcastic..LOLReplyDelete
HAPPY NEW YEAR MY FRIEND!!! :)
Good one, Angel! And it's not sarcastic when you say it. Only one more year of the revolving executive orders door president! Buckle up! It's going to get a little bumpy 'round here!ReplyDelete
Kid, You are correct. izlamofascists should be toward the front of that list. "Freaks" is a very large and inclusive big tent party. Good catch!