Israel's got legs and she knows how to use them

The terrorists that are Hamas fired Iranian made rockets into Israeli neighborhoods for the last two years with no real Israeli response, and certainly with no "Arab outrage". Until now.

Peace is achieved through victory, not some United Nations declaration of some bogus negotiated two-state solution. Now Hamas will reap what it has sown. Meanwhile, "Ayatollah 'Cassius Clay' Ali 'ZZ Top' Khamenei", supreme leader and lead guitarist for the terrorist Iran regime, has issued a fatwah to Muslims around the world to defend Palestinians in Gaza against Israeli attacks "in any way possible".

The dynamics are now in motion for Israel to address the existential threat that is a nuclear Iran. There is no negotiated settlement in this that would be real. Israel can't afford to "hope" that Ackmadeendude and his clown-a-tollahs find true religion. Iran must be dealt with now and with overwhelming force. Wishing this were not the case will not change this reality.

The US may not be ready to publicly sanction Israeli military action against these insainiacs. However, it is hard for me to believe that we would offer any serious resistance to Israel's efforts in this (at least this pre-obama time frame). After all, Israel's fight is our fight. In fact, our grandchildren's grandchildren's money might be better spent on one big Iranian parking lot than shinier roads and bridges here that would one day be lined by Islamic road signs.

I have this vision of a blindfolded and chained Ackmadeenadude being duck-walked around the United Nations Headquarters in New York City by the former US hostages of his.

Dancing bees on drugs

NEXT on CSI-CT (That's "Crime Scene Investigation - Chattering Teeth division", for the Obama voter)...
Is the messiah-elect sending secret communiques to his cohorts through the use of dance? Did Obama's dance moves on his Ellen show appearance secretly send critical instructions to Blagoje-biotch about who to sell his senate seat to (as well as hair-styling advice to lose the squirrel growing out of his forehead)? The truth is out there people.

C'mon DaBlade! More rightwing conspiracy garbage. For the sake of argument, how much information truly can be passed on through dance?

You have obviously not had the pleasure of witnessing DaBlade's "robot", flawlessly executed during every dollar dance that I have ever thrown back the whiskey shot for. only once did a bride actually mistake my moves for a seizure (but she married me anyway, which was the message I was throwing down at the time!)

More proof? Well, did you know...
Scientists have known for some time that the honey bee's waggle dance communicates the location of food sources to the rest of the hive. Through a series of gyrations and vibrations that translate into complex vector calculus equations (sorta like Freestyle hip hop breakdancing), the dancer communicates his favorite pollen stash to his buds. It is unknown if the occasional waggle dancing bee will throw a fuzzy arm in the air, ala Tony Manero, for style points. More studies must be done on this, and I suggest they petition for a piece of that $700 billion bailout money to finance this important research.

Honey bees on cocaine (as well as politicians) tend to exaggerate.

Dancing Honeybee Using Vector Calculus to Communicate juxtaposed with Obama busting a move with Ellen.
You be the judge:

Obama Brain Freeze

Now that NORAD doesn't have to track Santa for another year, all eyes, satellites, and microphones can once again be dedicated to The One.

The economy is still stupid; Israel is closer to moving on Gaza; Iran's Ackmadeenadude is still crazy; and Pakistan (or "Pock-ee-ston", as The Barry likes to pronounce it) is moving it's troops to the Indian border. Saber rattling and chest bumping take on a whole new meaning when both sides are nuclear powers.

So where is The One?
Eating shave ice and swimming with the dolphins on Waikiki.

SIDE NOTE: You know how some people get that brain freeze, or Ice-cream headache, from scarfing down that bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough surreptitiously freed from the freezer when their woman was in the other room? Well, I get the EXACT same headache whenever I think of Obama as POTUS.

Yes, I know he hasn't been sworn in yet and is entitled to a vacation at some point. It's just nauseating watching this charlatan Chicago thug getting the King Kamehameha II treatment in Hawaii when he could at least act like he cared that he is taking over in just a few weeks.

Then again, I remember when Obama slammed McCain for suggesting they cancel a debate and fly back to Washington to deal with the financial crisis. Obama: “I think it is going to be part of the president’s job to be able to deal with more than one thing at once."

...Aaaaand I have this Blackberry (pause) thaaat gives me updates (pause) on the Bulls.

Looking back, It was a masterful campaign move on Obama's part and made it look like McCain was trying to duck him. I think it was more about Obama belligerently stating that he cared more about his own presidential ambitions than fulfilling his job responsibilities as Senator. I also think he understands he is clueless as a problem solver and the lower the profile he keeps, the better.

Things are so gloomy now that it has libs rubbing their hands together with glee. As Rahm Emanuel puts it, "You never want a serious crisis to go to waste," presumably so you can use it to leverage people's fears against them (while they cement their power and turn this country into a socialist nanny state). When the "unedumacated" Obama voter finally wakes up, it may well be too late.

From AP Obama: Things suck. Isn't it great!

WASHINGTON – Barack Obama will inherit two wars and the worst economic conditions in three generations when he takes the oath of office on Jan. 20. Ironically, that challenge might be a blessing for the president-elect — unemployment is so high and consumer confidence so low that even modest improvements will let him claim progress.

Yeah right. Even modest improvements would be despite his best efforts.

Weeweechu

It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."

Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.

Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon," replied Rosita.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."


MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Rubber Ducky, you're the one

From the rocket surgeons that brought you the "Escape of the tool bag during a leisurely space walk"....

Have You Seen a Rubber Ducky Near Greenland? Please Call NASA:
Three months ago 90 rubber duckies set out on a perilous adventure, sliding down deep holes in a Greenland ice sheet that were expected to carry them eventually out to the ocean. In an experiment designed to shed light on the gradual melting of Greenland’s glaciers due to global warming... The $2 ducks were chosen for their buoyancy and for their durability in low temperatures. Nasa is offering $100 to the first person who finds a duck. The toys are stamped with an email address and the word “reward” in three languages, including Inuit.

Really? Stick your head outside. Those duckies are frozen solid you dweebs! Seriously, is this our tax dollars at work? Isn't there some kind of dyes you could use for these bogus experiments? This is going to be embarassing if these rubber duckies stay locked in the ice sheet for a millenia or two, only to be discovered by some archeologists of a future advanced alien race (led here by a wandering tool bag and makeup kit that floated through their solar system). What will they think?

OK, now that I'm done criticizing, I need to pack. I'm going to bundle up in my snowmobile suit, hat, scarf, and mittens and find an Inuit tribe with spare igloo room that will take me in for a while on the Greenland ice sheet. I remember my dad used to tell me that whale blubber was eskimo children's candy. Looks like I'm going to find out.

Hey, times are tough and a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks! And my Sarah Palin doll doesn't float during my bathtime.

Don't miss this major motion picture, from the always disturbing individuals over at The Nose On Your Face.
Rod Blagojevich Stars In “Lord Of The Bangs"

Remembering The Waltons

I keep having this recurring dream. It's a variation of the television series The Waltons and I don't know what it means.

[Click pic for first season opening]


The Waltons aired my entire teen years (1972 to 1981) and I did love that show. Back in those days, we didn't have any "internets", so it was either watch The Waltons or play Monopoly again. What's that youngin'? What's Monopoly? It's a board game. Huh? What do you mean, "what's a board game"?

So the basic weekly plot lines as I recall, centered around a really large family that lived in abject poverty and squalor during the Great Depression, and all the entertaining hijinx that ensues from that condition. There was "Ma" and Pa" and a set of grandparents, plus about 42 children (I really can't remember how many children lived in that house, nor am I certain that Ma or Pa knew either). The only kid I remember was the eldest of the Walton tribe named John Boy. John Boy liked to write in his journal, and it was these journal entries that made up the telling of each episode. What's that youngin'? What's a "journal"? Just think of John Boy as a blogger without the computer.

So anyways, back to the dreams. There really isn't much more to tell. I dream I'm on Chattering Teeth Mountain, chopping wood or driving a Model T car around a two-track country road leading nowhere. There are chickens strutting along the roadside, and there is a lot of corn. The Mountain folk are dressed like Amish, except for me. I am wearing Lederhosen. Did I mention that I'm mayor of Chattering Teeth Mountain?

Don't ask me what it all means. All of the residents of CT Mountain are poor, but they are all happy. They don't have the possessions that we take for granted - or that we feel are required. No iPods, no cable TV, no Nintendo wii. But they do have their Bibles and their faith, and everyone worships God and is thankful to Him for all of their blessings.

I know... it's crazy. Dreams are crazy that way sometimes. Let me know if you make any sense out of it. In the meantime...

Goodnight John Boy. Goodnight Sarah Palin. Goodnight Joe the plumber. Goodnight Rush Limbaugh. Goodnight Hillary. Hillary? Hey! Get off my mountain!

Obama & Pastor Warren: peas and carrots

PICTURED: Richard Simmons joins Pastor Rick Warren at Lord Obama's inauguration and Woodstock concert.


Simmons was a last-minute invite, as Obama finally caved to gay pressure groups upset with his Warren selection.

Evangelical pastor Rick Warren has accepted The One's invitation to do the convocation at his inauguration, and radical Gays are having a hissy fit. Warren is pro-life, but is mainly under fire for agreeing with Obama on opposing gay marriage. That's right! Obama and Warren are like "peas and carrots" on that issue.

WARREN: Three years ago I took enormous heat for inviting Barack Obama to my church because some of his views don't agree with mine. Now he's invited me.

OBAMA: I remember thaaaaat day. Uhhh... It was a strange church service. (pause) Like nothing I haaaad ever experienced. Aaaaand Not once did Pastor Rick blame our country for terrorism. There was nothing about chickens coming home to roost, aaaand there was not one "G-- D--- America!" Uhhhh... Thaaaat just didn't feel like worship to me.

WARREN: "You don't have to see eye to eye to walk hand in hand."

Obama defended his choice on Thursday, saying that he has also invited Joseph Lowery, a Methodist minister and civil rights leader who supports same-sex marriage and gay rights, to deliver the benediction.

LOWERY: "You don't have to see eye to eye to consumate a prison relationship. In fact, it works better that way."

I had wondered why Obama has insisted on an increased presence in Afghanistan when his campaign hinged on reaching out to the fringe leftwing peacenics, promising them America's defeat.

And then I saw this headline: 2 1/2 tons of marijuana found in Afghan school

Hmmm. We'll know more if Obama has squinty red eyes, is eating Doritos and giggling during Pastor Warren's inaugural invocation.

Bush Dodges everything journalist can dish!
[Click image and see for yourself]


Just where ARE those secret service agents?

Camelot Caroline

New York Senator Caroline Kennedy. Doesn't it just roll off the tongue? The democrats have ALWAYS been style over substance. That is their essence. I'm sure Caroline's intentions are good. After all, it is the liberal good intentions (albeit with disasterous results) that is their opiate for the mindless masses.

Politico's Ben Smith says, "Kennedy 2016". "...having amazed the pundits with her ability to step on and off charter jets in Rochester and be friendly to members of the City Council, will be an automatic top-tier candidate for president.

Camelot.


"The Lady of the Lake (named Hillary), her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite (and legs clad in a pantsuit) held aloft Excalibur (her NY Senate seat)from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence (Mayor Bloomberg?) that I, Arthur (Caroline), was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king QUEEN."

...Anything’s possible in eight years:

Nothing would be finer than a nepotism cage match between the Clintons and Kennedys for the nomination while Chelsea and Michelle Obama inevitably eye Senate runs of their own.

"Be quiet. BE QUIET! I ORDER you to be quiet!"

Powers Catholic manhandles Davison, 3-0, in hockey

Powers just kept plugging away and got second-period goals from defensemen Steve Adams and Joe Carlson to beat its biggest rival for the fifth straight time.

Hey. Isn't that Joe kid a Davison resident? I'm sure it felt great beating your hometown team that has more than a few ex-travel mates and school chums. I'm sure you make your old man proud!

GO CHARGERS!

Pantophobiacs Unite!

Downturn Spurs 'Survival Panic' for Some in the US:

In the coming months, mental health experts expect a rise in theft, depression, drug use, anxiety and even violence as consumers confront a harsh new reality and must live within diminished means.

"People start seeing their economic situation change, and it stimulates a sort of survival panic..."

LUCY: Are you afraid of responsibility? If you are, then you have hypengyophobia. How about cats? If you're afraid of cats, you have ailurophasia. Are you afraid of staircases? If you are, then you have climacaphobia. Maybe you have thalassophobia. This is fear of the ocean, or gephyrobia, which is the fear of crossing bridges. Or maybe you have pantophobia. Do you think you have pantophobia?

CHARLIE BROWN: What's pantophobia?

LUCY: The fear of everything.

CHARLIE BROWN: THAT'S IT!


I guess I'd better collect my things and prepare for the worst. It's critical that in times like these, you only take the absolute necessities for survival. Separate the wheat from the... err... stuff that's not the wheat. Why take your digital camera in the post-apocalyptic world?

So please excuse me while I pack my backpack. I don't need anything except this furry hat with the floppy ears and that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this furry hat. And this walking stick, the furry hat and the walking stick and that's all I need. And this backpack full of Campbells soup. The furry hat, the walking stick, and the backpack full of Campbells soup, and that's all I need. And my S&M Barbie. The furry hat, and my S&M Barbie, and the soup and the walking stick. And my 25 lb. pet rock I found. The hat, the stick and the soup and the rock and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this chair.


What's in YOUR survivalist backpack?

"That shoe throw was a little too pitchy for me dog”

"This is a gift from the Iraqis; this is the farewell kiss, you dog!," yells an Iraqi reporter, as he throws his dress shoes at our president.

Just a few more random thoughts on this topic...
Arabs consider calling someone a "dog" as harsh. American Idol judge, Randy Jackson, is quoted as stating, “I’m sorry dog, it just didn’t work for me. That throw was a little too pitchy for me dog”.

Hitting someone with a shoe is a deep insult in the Arab world, signifying that the person being struck is as low as the dirt underneath the sole of a shoe. MISSING YOUR TARGET BY TWO FEET FROM SIX FEET AWAY IS CAUSE FOR DEEP INSULTS ON THE AMERICAN PLAYGROUND TO THE THROWER!

Hey Al-Zeidi. That was really a lame-@$$ throw dog. Is THAT all ya got? Does your husband throw shoes too? C'mon dog! Get the shoe out from under the burka a little cleaner next time!

O.J. Simpson heard about this incident from his jail cell, where he is serving a 16 year sentence for kidnapping and robbery. He stated, "Were those ugly ass Bruno Magli shoes? How much does he want for them? I really miss mine."

Prime Minister al-Maliki called the shoe throwing a "a shameful savage act" and demanded a public apology from Al Baghdadia, the independent satellite channel that employs Zaidi. I could have sworn he was from CNN. Then again, I'd be surprised if there are any CNN "journalists" wearing dress shoes instead of their hippy sandals.

Throwin' shoes...


CHATTERINGTEETH EXCLUSIVE!:
The shoe thrower is now under arrest with the Iraqi military command in Baghdad. A top secret American interrogator has been called in to do the questioning. He is an American golfer by the name of John Daly. He was slow to arrive at the military compound, as his carry-on full of golf shoes with metal spikes and Budweisers kept setting off the airport metal detectors. "Tools of the trade," Daly said. "Now that we know what really sets these clowns off, I was asked to bring my work shoes over and give this dirtbag a taste".

In Conclusion:
So I have had a little fun regarding this "Shoegate" thang for the past two days. You may think I take this event lightly, or that it's a big joke. That I somehow have joined ranks with the likes of the wingnuts over at Daily "Wac"kos and the Huffing"glue" Post. Au contraire, mon amie. I think the shoe thrower should rightly be interrogated, tried and imprisoned. 16 years in the spiderhole that was his hero Saddam's hideout may give him a little gratitude for the sacrifices made by our brave troops and this great country.

I'm sure everyone remembers that Cosmo Kramer looking dude with the shoe bomb. President Bush is a man's man, standing in the pocket and looking potential danger in the eye without blinking. I have no doubt that, if push came to shove, he would kick Putin's @$$ in a bare-knuckled brawl. I'm going to miss this great man occupying the Oval Office. We have all been the safer for it.

Let these weenies throw their shoes. We'll keep raining American Grade-A ordnance on the terrorist's heads.

Tennis shoes thrown over power lines have always been associated with gang activity.


So let's send our shoe-throwers to Iraq to take on their shoe throwers. We kill two birds with one stone.