Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Fetus heads fetus heads eat them up, yum!

Macabre edible lifesized chocolate baby heads
Even if you could countenance the disturbing prospect of gnawing on a newborn, there’s your waistline to consider.

The life-size, solid white chocolate creation weighs nearly one kilogram and contains 5,000 calories – nearly twice the recommended daily calorie intake for men.

But creator Annabel de Vetten has been swamped with orders. Even she admits it’s ‘quite surprising’ – but the heads are in demand for parties and even as baby shower gifts.

And if these sweet infant sized craniums are too big to bite – the inventor of these confectionery holocausts suggests you simply "smash them with a hammer" first.

My first reaction to this story is an urge to projectile vomit. Is there anything more repulsive and disturbing than this? What kind of skullduggery is at work here when baby heads only come in solid white chocolate? Who eats white chocolate!? I'm sorry, but I want MY baby heads served with a thick dark chocolate shell encompassing a cherry and gray matter (nougatty) filling.

But NOOOOO! Once again, we milk chocolate and dark chocolate lovers are the objects of discrimination at the hands of a racist cake artist!

According to the creator, it was hoped that the birth of these chocolate baby heads would be ‘something that would shock people’.

Really? We are approaching the 40th anniversary of Roe v Wade, the desecration that legalized infanticide and has resulted in a DAILY loss of life equal to that Americans experienced on 9-11. A 9-11 type holocaust every day, yet this fact is literally ignored by the majority of folks too busy posting their pet photos on their favorite social media site every day. If they're immune to the horror that is abortion, I really don't think they'll get worked up over these chocolate baby heads.

Besides, it is only those Christians and conservatives who believe in that fairytale that life begins at conception. They have not been enlightened like the rest of us that understand life begins approximately 18 years after evacuating the womb, becoming fully indoctrinated during a state-controlled public education, then joining a union or casting the first obamavote.

Maybe she could take her business to the next level by using actual head molds from aborted fetuses. I can almost see the marketing theme now...

Did you get knocked up but you don't want to be inconvenienced with a baby? Turn the likeness of your unwanted tissue mass into a wanted mass of emulsified sugar, vanilla, milk and cocoa bean byproducts today! For only $14.99, you can satisfy your sweet tooth while celebrating your right to choose between white or dark chocolate fetus heads molded directly from your abortion. Gluten free bundles of soy available soon!  

56 million served since January 22, 1973!


(Cue the commercial theme song)

Fetus Heads

(Chorus and first verse)
Fetus heads fetus heads
Roly poly fetus heads
Fetus heads fetus heads
eat them up, yum!

Ask a fetus head anything you want to
they wont answer they cant talk.
(chorus)
I took a fetus head out to see a mooovie
didnt have to pay to get it in.
(chorus)
They don't play baseball
they don't wear sweaters
they're not good dancers
They dont play drums!!
(chorus)
Rolypoly fetusheads are never seen drinking capachino in Italian restaurants
with oriental women!!!!!
Yeah!
Fetus heads fetus heads
Roly poly fetus heads
Fetus heads fetus heads
eat them up, yum!
YEEAAHHHH!!!!!!

Brought to you by the makers of these commemorative snow globes filled with abortion debris

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