Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Hillary's Iowa Steak Fry

Hmmm... So Hillary Clinton was in Iowa to attend Tom Harkin's "steak fry" and kicking off her thinly-veiled presidential campaign bid.

A bit too high-profile for someone who still claims to be making up her mind? Could she have gone to some small-town venue instead? I don’t think Hillary can do off-Broadway, given that the Democratic nomination is hers for the taking. Those same 200 reporters who were herded behind a barrier, waiting for her to grill some steak, would treat any Clinton appearance as red meat.

As I was reading the article, I remember thinking how strange it was that I hadn't fallen asleep. I mean, "I don't feel no ways tired." You see, I suffer from a rare form of narcolepsy that only seems to manifest itself when confronted with a story about Hillary Cli... *yawn*.. Zzzzzz

Cue wavy lines for the upcoming blog dream sequence... 

There I was in the steak line, and in full disguise as a democrat donor. I looked with pity at the other mainstream reporters "herded behind the barriers" like common WWII veterans, and thought to myself, "It's good to be deep-cover Chattering Teeth blog reporter!"

I don't want to describe my wardrobe like I did in yesterday's blog, but let's just say that when you looked at me, I "screamed other people's money."

The line moved forward until finally I stood before none other than Hillary Clinton, the presumptive heir to the throne. She thrust out her spatula and asked:

HILLARY: How do you like your steak sir?

DaBlade: How about a nice, plump cut. heavily marbeled. A red center so rare that it practically moos when they stick a fork in it.

BILL: Ahh! You mean the Monica cut! Honey, don't forget to throw a thick tomato slice on top like a beret!

DaBlade: I don't mean to complain ma'am, but that pre-cooked monstrosity of a steak you're holding is a little overdone for my tastes. In fact, its burned beyond recognition. What do you call that, the Benghazi special? You just leave that steak on the coals and ignore it's pleas for help?

 I wake up face down at my desk in a small pool of cold drool. I think to myself, I would rather stay here than picnic with Hillary Clin.... *yawn* Zzzz


  1. This was no thinly disguised event. I think she thinks she's running now, but she's never been a grandmother before. Plans can change. Let's hope they do.

  2. Good stuff!
    Leave it on the coals and ignore its cries for help.

  3. I agree cube, I think she's all in. Unless those cankles flare up. Hard to dodge imaginary Bosnian gunfire with those anchors don'tcha know.

    Ed, Thank you sir. I wanted to go in a few more directions with this but the inspiration hit me late and I only quit when I had to leave for work this morning.

  4. Good comparison...'what's the difference if the steak is rare or overdone?'

    so sad. Ya, she'll run, but she'll have to go even further left to do it. And she can't do that and get moderates or independents...so it IS a problem. I like that :-)