Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Urban Miners Gone Wild

Detroit Public Schools have become the symbol for what is wrong with public education in general in this country, and for good reason, what with their lofty 25% high school graduation rate. That's why I'd like to take this opportunity to recognize them for this positive story from today's Detroit News:
Scrappers take anything of value from DPS sites

"Blade, what can you possibly find positive in this story? Grayling Elementary, one of 70 closed and boarded up schools waiting to be sold or demolished, is getting ransacked by scrappers for parts.

Well, at least these buildings are once again being populated with skilled professionals with some semblance of higher math skills. At the very least, you would have to agree that their truancy rates have plummeted. And with Michigan's unemployment rate being what it is, maybe we could use more of this kind of entrepreneurial spirit.

Do you have what it takes to be an "urban miner"? Take this quiz and find out:
1. Little Johnny and little Timmy break into a defunct Detroit Public School looking for what?
(A) Books
(B) A quiet place to smoke crack
(C) Jimmy Hoffa
(D) Copper and other materials they can easily sell

2. If copper currently fetches $4 per pound and they work from 9 p.m. until 4 a.m (a 7 hour shift) gathering 100 pounds of copper, which statement would be false?
(A) Little Johnny and little Timmy are in possession of $400 worth of copper
(B) These industrious lads have earned $200 each (if the booty is split evenly)
(C) They will have earned over $28 per hour for their labor
(D) 100 pounds of copper weighs more than 100 pounds of feathers

3. If little Johnny pops a cap in little Timmy's a$$, what will little Johnny get?
(A) 20 to life for first degree murder
(B) Class valedictorian honors
(C) Promotion to the next grade
(D) All the copper for himself, and whatever drugs and dirty needles he finds in Timmy's pockets

TEST ANSWERS: "D" for "Detroit" was the correct response in each question above. So how did you do?

Now for some Flint local news.
FLINT (WJRT) -- (11/09/10) -- The latest price tag on the Genesee Towers has now been totaled, and Flint taxpayers are learning just how much it will cost them to pay for the building.

The concerns are growing for property owners as they learn details of a special assessment to pay off nearly $9 million for a vacant building.
$9 million bucks for that ol' thing? Why not just encourage those Detroit scrapper dung beetle dudes to swing by and cart this eyesore away? I'm sure we could get them for much less.

Happier Times for the Genesee Towers


  1. "D" for "Detroit" was the correct response in each question above. So how did you do? it..but hey were all racists now right?..:)

  2. I guessed D on all. For one thing, everyone knows that a hundred pounds of copper weighs more than a hundred pounds of feathers.

    9 mil for Genesee Towers huh? They saw them coming

  3. except for DABLADE on the sidewalk, that is AWFUL.
    Seriously, my career was DESIGN oriented and that building is exactly what was being built in the Sixties and awful.

    D...yes, I got them.

  4. WHT- That's what they try to say anyways.
    AH! Chuck caught my error. Where's my editor!
    Z- That is an ugly building, but that 17 story monstrosity is Flint's only "skyscraper".