While Russian troops mass on the Ukraine border, it would appear at first blush that obama is out of options to prevent an invasion. However, I may just have a solution.
But first, let's look at the obama foreign policy 'month in review' and the frightening escalation to date (sadly, despite my embellishments, these are all true):
1) Obama applies personal sanctions against some in Putin's inner circle, including his barber and Horse Whisperer after Crimea was annexed.
2) When a Russian jet fighter buzzed a U.S. warship in the Black Sea 2 weeks ago, obama through surrogates called this Russian aggression "provocative and unprofessional" and "inconsistent with international protocols".
TAKE THAT PUTIN! Don't be buzzing our warships again, or Obama will be forced to up the rhetorical flourish and call you something really pseudo-intellectual, and won't that be embarrassing for you sir? How would you like to be on the business end of a "galling and unscrupulous"? Nyet? I didn't think so.
3) Obama decides 'sh*t gettin' real', and a week ago sends Joe Biden to Ukraine (purpose unknown). My guess is that Biden was sent to rally the wheelchair-bound Ukrainians to "stand up and let 'em see ya! Oh, God love ya!"
4) In a bold move, Obama has his Secretary of Defense, Chuck Hagel, making prank calls to his Russian counterpart, whom he has on speed dial. The Russians are no longer taking our calls now, after the first 3 times Hagel did the "Do you have Prince Edwards in a can?" routine.
(BTW, I'm guessing Hagel's Russian counterpart is Putin's stable boy Horse Whisperer)
I know it's hard to believe, but not one of these bold obama initiatives have worked.
Then it occurred to me. Remember the cheap, plastic red button that read "RESET" in English on one side, and the misspelled Russian word inadvertently translated to "OVERCHARGE" on the other?
Here's your RESET BUTTON!
Imagine if these buttons were mass produced and included the advanced technology Chipcorders, or sound-recording chips used in many Greeting Cards today. And what if these buttons were installed along the Ukraine border 'button-side up'? And what if someone stepped on the button, thereby engaging the prerecorded sound installed? And what if this sound was an actual recording of Hillary's annoying and unpleasant cackle? Peace on Erf. You're welcome. Just watch your step as you exit this blog.