Tuesday, May 3, 2016

OBITS: GOP succumbs to itty bitty baby hands

Chattering Teeth News - The Republican Party (GOP), 162, died May 3, 2016 in the State of Indiana following a battle with itty bitty tiny baby hands syndrome.

Born on March 20, 1854 in a schoolhouse in Ripon, Wisconsin, the GOP was the anti-slavery party dedicated to preserving the union. Ironically, the ravages of small hands disease transformed it into the party of white supremacists and neo-Nazis dedicated to the union's destruction.

During life, the GOP loved the Constitution, limited government, freedom, liberty, free markets, and quiet walks on the beach collecting shells.

Left to cherish it's memory are the close family of #NeverTrump patriots and roughly 42% of Republican voters who have an unfavorable view of Trump and will never vote for the orange-faced, narcissistic, NY liberal, reality TV star.

In lieu of flowers, Trump supporters may make campaign contribution checks payable directly to"Hillary for America". That is, if they are capable of using their pathetically small and atrophied hand to grasp an ink pen.


  1. I say Trump should go full on Banana Republic and ask Nicolas Maduro to be his running mate.

  2. Next up. Obama gives go ahead to DOJ. Hillary goes to jail.
    Joe Biden runs.
    And wins.

  3. Elmers Bros, we are all Venezuela very soon I fear.

    Ed, so if your scenario plays out and Biden is the democrat nominee, does my no-show on election day still somehow magically cast a vote for Hillary in her prison cell? Just trying to wrap my brain cells around these yahoo common-core trumpeters logic.

    As for me - they broke it, they bought it.

  4. I offer my condolences to those who were near and dear to her. I haven't held her close in several years, but I do respect a solemn time like this. There will be no donation to Hillary, however I will plant a symbolic tree in honor of her untimely death.

  5. While you're at it, plunge a large fork in the U.S., center mass.

  6. Bwa hah hah hah hah... sorry.

    We're not dead yet.. well, unless Hillary gets elected and we're all screwed.

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