Today's science lesson - Birds sing, skunks stink

Researchers at the RIKEN Brain Science Institute in Japan say that the male bird brains get high on dopamine when chirping smack to the gal chicks. Not to be outdone, a Johns Hopkins University study claims that the male starlings’ "mating songs are more than just empty amorous enticement," rather, a proclamation of productive fitness.

"Yo Adrian! You like the 'Pec(k)s?'"

I have no idea why you should care. I just find comfort in the knowledge that scientists across this globe are devoting untold resources studying birds, so you should too. These secrets must be unlocked!

Of course, the big "science" news all over cyberspace are the dire predictions of mass global critter extinctions. According to the International Union for the Conservation of Nature (IUCN), 25% of land mammals are endangered.

Life on Earth is disappearing fast with man inflicting most of the damage…. On land more species face oblivion because of loss of habitat, hunting and climate change while in the oceans pollution and the side effects of fishing are taking a huge toll.

Who knew that fishing kills fish?

I checked the "animal punk'd" list, and unfortunately, skunks are doing just fine. I don't know about the rest of the planet, but around here, man has not inflicted nearly enough damage to the skunk's environment. When I see skunk squash on the road it evokes no sympathy, just a desire to avoid getting the toxic little road pancake's smell on my tires. I know that's callous, but they stink! What kind of cruel evolutionary defense mechanism joke is that anyway?

Evolution: Hey! I got it! When cornered, I'll have this furry little squirrel-like creature expel a cloud of noxious spray of no inherent value, other than to fully offend any innocent bystanders. And after I'm finished creating a "liberal", I'll move on to that striped mammal over there.

Palin keeps Michigan in her sights

From James Cameron's 1997 hit movie Titanic(Kate Winslet as Sarah Palin, and Leonardo DiCaprio as "Michigan)

"Hold on Jack!"
"I'll never let go."

First THIS:
"Todd and I, we'd be happy to get to Michigan and walk through those plants of the car manufacturers," Palin said, referring to her husband. "We'd be so happy to get to speak to the people in Michigan who are hurting because the economy is hurting."

Palin acknowledged the GOP ticket's lackluster poll ratings in the state, but said: "I want to get back to Michigan and I want to try."


"I want to try." How refreshing is that!? I have an image of Sarah doing a Jerry Maguire, "help me to help you" plea to us. (Cuba Gooding Jr. plays the part of "Michigan" in this clip from the movie)

Then THIS:
Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin continues questioning presidential candidate John McCain's decision to abandon efforts to win Michigan.

"Honestly, in Michigan, we are hurting so bad," she said. "We don't want to hear just 'by golly, aw shucks.' We want to hear what are you going to do to help everyday citizens."
Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm

Seriously Jenny? Did you say that with a straight face? Nice and professional of you to make fun of her dialect, eh? (dialect: a regional variety of language distinguished by features of vocabulary, grammar, and pronunciation from other regional varieties..), you elitist Canadian snob. The "everyday citizens" of Michigan don't need any more of the kind of "HELP" you and your ilk bring to the kitchen table.

All I have to say, by golly, is COME BACK!


or if you prefer...
Don't give up on us baby!

Baby Come Back

Traveler advisory - Beware the "Fantasy Suite upgrade"

Notre Dame beat Stanford 28-21, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.

Hotel rates are always jacked up for football weekends at Notre Dame, and we were quoted as much as $650 per night (two night minimum) at one of the nicer accomodations right in town, just minutes away from the stadium. While this rate DID include all-you-can-eat waffles every morning, it was a little rich for our blood. Not surprisingly, hotel rates declined the further away from the stadium - the city - the state of Indiana - if you were willing to commute on gameday.

Hence, the reason why the wife and I arrived in Elkhart, Indiana (which is about 12 miles east of South Bend) Friday afternoon. Mrs. DaBlade had made reservations at one of those cookie-cutter economy lodges with a name like "Comfort Econo Quality Sleep Inn Cabins & Suites" (or something like that). The plan was to check in, stow the luggage in the room and spend the rest of the day with our college boy on campus.

There was a strong and overpowering smell of chlorine from the 5X10 "pool" as we entered the lobby. So strong, in fact, that my eyes teared up from the fumes. I smiled, conforted in the knowledge that any stray bacteria I may have been carrying had just been stripped away (along with a few layers of eye skin).

A gentleman of about 80 years of age was at the counter speaking with the clerk. It was obvious that he didn't have reservations. "foolish old man," thought I smugly. "What if there are NO ROOMS available in all of Elkhart!" "I know I won't be sleeping in MY car tonight because my wife and I had the foresight to make reservations for $215 per night (yes, for a two night minimum) in advance." We understood that this rate was a ripoff for the accomodations offered (no waffles), but we still felt frugal for our willingness to stay 12 miles down the toll road.

We listened in as the elderly gentleman inquired as to the availability of a room for his wife and him. The clerk said all she had available were two fantasy suites, and quoted him a price of $290 per night with a two night minimum, and with the AARP and AAA discounts he was entitled to. The kindly gentleman smiled a "no thank you" and that he "only needed a room for one night" and began to walk away. The clerk said, "sir, I will let you have it for $135 for tonight."

Now in my defense for what happened next, you would have had to witness the look on Mrs. DaBlade's face when she heard this transaction take place. She turned her back to the counter and whispered angrily, "I want that rate," and "why were we made to reserve for two nights?" and mumbling something about "the injustice of being punished for making reservations ahead of time" as she stormed away. Just then, the old dude completed his transaction, choosing the Taj Mahal Fantasy Suite.

"May I help you?," asked the clerk.

"I want the same deal you just gave that guy," I stated (as I quickly hid the reservation printout behind my back).

"OK, I'll give you the last suite for the same rate. Did you want it for one night or two?"

Now I was flabbergasted! I never really expected to get this special senior citizen's rate, nor did I expect to get just a one-night commitment. All this, AND for some kind of "SUITE", no less. We would be upgraded AND save $300 to boot! (*Barney Fife sniff as I hitched up my drawers*)

Before I accepted, the clerk added, "That is... unless you already HAVE reservations. Do you sir?"

Now I'm normally an honest kind of guy, but when Mrs. DaBlade isn't happy, that is no time for taking the moral highground. "No, I don't," I answered, which was technically not a lie since the reservation was in the wife's name. I nervously handed over the credit card, answering with address and phone info when asked. I was sure that the transaction would be interrupted prematurely and that my "scam" would be discovered. I feared at any moment a loud siren and flashing lights going off, a rush of security guards capturing and waterboarding me with the chlorine pool water for my deception.

To my relief, I was given the room key and excused. I approached the wife and proudly gave her the good news! She gave me a look that said, "maybe you're not as big an idiot as I thought." That look lasted right up until the moment we wheeled our luggage into the suite.

"What the... there are palm trees growing out of the freakin' walls!"

I guess I didn't stop to consider what a "fantasy" suite was, or why the clerk was so quick to downgrade the rate. I was immediately struck by an overpowering perfumy smell that I was sure was there to cover up something sinister. WARNING - Clicking this link is not recommended, but it is honestly what I was thinking, but not sharing with the wife. It was a long drive, and sleeping in the car seemed more torturous than even this possibility (one that I planned on keeping to myself).


I looked around, taking advantage of the wife's momentarily silence born of stunned disbelief. The bed was round. ROUND!? It had a mirror above it that lit up like a star-filled sky and tiki torches on either side of the reinforced headboard! The furniture was bamboo and the TV was on a swivel with a built-in VCR. There was a hot tub encased in lava stone and surrounded by mirrors. The walls were painted with volcanoes and island scenes. Did I mention the real imitation palm trees? Fantasy suite? Maybe for Tarzan. Or Gilligan.

"Honey, did you pack my robe and pipe?"

She was not amused. "All I meant was that I wanted the cheaper one-night rate on our original NORMAL room!," she snapped, as she removed the comforter from the bed and began tearing up the sheet from each corner checking for bedbugs. Hey, once bitten, twice shy, and certainly this room would rank high on the "probable list" for infestation.

Thankfully, no bugs were found, but some unidentifiable stains on the floor, drapery, and mirrors were. I wondered how many porn flicks had been filmed in this very room. I knew I had to blog this, and snapped these photos with my digital. The wife hollered for me to stop, horrified at the idea that someone outside might see that flash photography was taking place and draw the wrong conclusions.

We quickly left the room as planned, and spent the day on campus, the day before the big football game. When we returned to retire for the evening, the wife stripped the bed again for the obligatory bug check. We bundled up in long-sleeve sleepware, even leaving on our socks to avoid as much contact with the bed as possible. We looked ready for a space mission, killing any chance that the misses would be even remotely interested in taking advantage of the mirror on the ceiling above. I've found that "bug checks" have a way of killing the mood for woman. If the wife finds a spider on the wall of the bedroom back home, romance becomes radioactive, with a half-life rivaling that of plutonium. I was sure the Taj Mahal was seeing more action this night.

"What is THAT smell?," I heard her mumble, as I sank into blissful oblivion.

ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NO POST-DEBATE COVERAGE HERE!

It started at 9PM on the button last night, and I sat there and watched the whole thing. I know others watching may have been nervous, wondering if their favorite would make an embarrassing gaffe. Not me. I was confident that my candidate was not skating on thin ice. There was the predictable "one-on-ones". The tiresome "back and forths". "Ohhh... That was a great shot!," thought I. Or, "nice deflection".

No, the title of this post is not lie. I am not "pulling a Biden" on you here. I was in the hockey rink last night watching the 94 Icelander's Bantaam AA hockey practice.

I don't mean to sound like a big shot here (yes I do), but I have been selected as the chief financial officer for this traveling hockey squad of 14-year-olds. This year it will be ME that gets to collect the monthly ice bills from the parents. I get to send the snarky emails to parents that may fall behind. (There is always SOMEBODY who foolishly chooses to buy groceries for the family over paying for the ice bill when times get tight. NOT ON MY WATCH!) I really don't mean to brag (yes I do), but I will be writing the checks to the arena for the team's obligations, most of them in four figures. (*Barney Fife sniff*)

So you see, I missed the VP debate. Doesn't matter. I am not in the "undecided" column, and Sarah's "performance" was irrelevant. From what I've read though, she did just fine and won the debate. Poll numbers will now sway back to favor McCain, as "undecideds" feel more favorably for Palin after last night.

The "undecideds" are like minnows swimming along the beachfront. First one way, then the other. No long-term memory to build a coherant basis for future moves. Just a 2 second short-term memory for these aquatic cockroaches. It's all "feel" and "instinct" with the minnows. Unlike the Whale, which is actually a mammal, and can memorize stuff like "whale songs". Admiral James T. Kirk actually used two Humpback Whales to answer an alien probe that threatened Earth. Kirk didn't use the minnows, did he? What were we talking about again?

A crab hitching a ride on top of a Gigantic Jellyfish off the coast of Florida?

Outtakes from tonight's VP debate

Joe Biden is legendary for his
fits of brain flatulence and has been called
a human verbal wrecking crew.

Sarah Palin has been roundly and routinely criticized for her "performance" during the Gibson and Couric interviews.

The media ignores and covers up Biden's gaffes (Hey, it's not like he can't spell POTATO) because they are in the tank for "Obama America" and "the Biden administration" (Joe's words, not mine). Palin, on the other hand, is under the mainstream microscope for her "inexperience". Where are the SNL skits lampooning Biden?

So bring on the debates! We are all about style over substance, so their individual beliefs matter naught! It's about hair plugs and lipstick.

Outtakes from tonight's debate (secured by my time machine software):

BIDEN: "When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened.'" (Pssst! Hey Joe. FDR wasn't president yet and television wasn't invented for another decade or so).

BIDEN: "stand up FDR, let 'em see ya." (Pssst. FDR died in 1945). "God love ya, what am I talking about... You can tell I'm new..." "Well, if he were here, I'd tell him to stand up!." (Uhhhh... nevermind)

BIDEN: "When the British attacked Pearl Harbor, Paul Revere didn't just sit there on his horse and complain. No! He got on the radio and warned the colonists!"

Ifill: "I thought it was the Germans?"

BIDEN: "God love ya, what am I talking about?

BIDEN: “I've said it before and I'll say it again. Hillary Clinton is more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America.. Quite frankly, she would have been a better pick than me. In fact, FDR's corpse would be a better pick than me. God love ya, what am I talking about?”

PALIN: "I need more than 10 seconds to respond."

Ifill: "Well, that's all you've got!"

BIDEN: “Might I just say Gwen (moderator Gwen Ifill), that you are looking especially articulate and bright and clean. God love ya, what am I talking about?”

October has arrived! *woo woo*

Season of the pumpkin.
To celebrate Octobers arrival, let's all recognize and applaud Steve Connolly of Sharon, Mass., for his dedication and "sticktoittiveness" in the nurturing of his backyard pumpkin from a seedling to an 1,800 pound behemoth - all, apparently, to the neglect of his gaunt and drawn son - pictured with the family vegetable (Well, he looks a little thin to me!). Imagine having to compete with a gourd for your father's attention.

According to the news story, Connolly "planted the pumpkin on May 1 and then pollinated it on July 3 and it's been growing into a monster for the past three months. He said on some days during its rapid growth phase it was putting on about 45 pounds per day." (sounds like Michael Moore's toddler years)

As for you Pumpkinguy, that's wonderful. Really. Congratulations. But can you peel away from the giant squash for a sec. and make your boy "Linus" there a sandwich?

Nationalized Mortgage Care Act of 2008 Defeated

Socialist takeover bill defeated!

Random brilliance:
How is it that this "crisis" just happened to come to a head on the cusp of the election? I am always just a little suspicious of coincidence. Even if this were a real crisis, that is no time to throw out your belief system for convenience sake. You can't be pro-life but change your position because you become pregnant.

Nancy Pelosi is nothing more than a counter-culture hippie congresswoman from the left coast republic of Californiastan. Nobody should be surprised to hear a duck quack. Or a "quack" try to duck responsibility. "What happened today cannot stand," she blathered.

Hey Nancy, you're the Speaker of the majority party! You don't need Republicans to pass this albatross. Of course, then you couldn't deflect and transfer blame for this fiasco to what you call "failed Bush economic policies". Blame that belongs entirely to your party, "gentlewoman" (sic), and YOU know it!

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO FIX BLAME!"
Just kidding. Yes it is.
Republicans, McCain included, pushed for regulations on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac back in 2004 that would have averted this disaster.

Maxine Waters: "we do not have a crisis at Freddie Mac, and particularly at Fannie Mae, under the outstanding leadership of Mr. Frank Raines."
Barney Frank (then): "I don't see anything in your report that raises safety and soundness problems (of Fannie and Freddie)."

Barney Frank (now): "Give me those 12 people's names (Republican "no" votes who had presumably turned) and I will go talk uncharacteristically nicely to them and tell them what wonderful people they are and maybe they'll now think about the country." Maybe I will tell them about how much "I love rhinestones and Barbara Streisand."

OK, the last sentence is actually a Richard Simmons quote. The point is, Frank is a partisan hack. Hey Barn, mop up your own mess.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: You know what the Democrats have engaged in here, partisan attacks, they're out there saying the Republicans caused this. Nancy Pelosi, "The Republicans caused this." And then they say they need the Republican votes. They go out and make these partisan attacks and then they make these bipartisan demands. And it's the exact opposite. There is no doubt at whose feet to lay blame here, the Democrats.

Obama's bracelet inscription, WWJD (What would John do?)

Chatteringteeth Weather News UPDATE:
A rare hurricane spun past Maine and hit Canada Sunday. The hurricane immediately filed to legally change it's name from "Kyle" to "Gretzky". The judge told it to "take off, eh?"

"Ba dum bum!"

McCain obviously won the debate last week. End of discussion.
John McCain Discusses His Bracelet


MCCAIN: He was 22 years old and he was killed in combat outside of Baghdad, Matthew Stanley, before Christmas last year. This was last August, a year ago. And I said, “I will — I will wear his bracelet with honor.”

OBAMA: Jim, let me just make a point. I’ve got a bracelet, too, from Sergeant (looking down at notes and thinking "what the heck is that dead soldier's name who I plan on exploiting again? Sure, it's against the family's wishes, but I have an election to win here! Ah, here it is! Now look up and deliver this dead dude's name with manufactured emotion while scanning the horizon with your nose in the air...") - from the mother of Sergeant Ryan David Jopeck.

Obama comes off as a petulant child when on the same stage as McCain. This “me too” moment, as Ed Morrissey of Hot Air put it, is a glaring example of this contrast. It's like he is silently singing, "anything John can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than John..."

More from the debate (OK, not really):

MCCAIN: I spent 5½ years in captivity as a POW in North Vietnam, and was brutally tortured for my patriotism and love of my country.

OBAMA: Jim, let me just make a point. I was brutally tortured too. In fact, I still am. You've met my wife Michelle, right? As for the "love of country" thingy - hey, I wear a flag pin on the ol' lapel these days.

Now comes the squareoff this week between Joe "gaffe machine" Biden and Sarah Palin in their first vice-presidential debate. I wonder if Joe will follow Barry's strategy lead on this? Maybe something like...

BIDEN: I am quite aware that the video of Sarah participating in the 1984 Miss Alaska swimsuit competition is climbing the viral internet charts. Jim, let me just make a point. While I have home movies of me performing the "Buns of Steel" workout in my glittered unitard, I have a popular internet video of "ME TOO". Stand up for Chuck!

Hillary shills for Obama in Flint

Pictured: Senator Hillary Clinton shills for Obama at Carman-Ainsworth High School on Saturday night, while simultaneously trying to work off her massive thighs campaign debt.


Jared Field is a very talented, young FJ reporter who was given the assignment to cover Hillary's visit to our area Saturday. I'm guessing that he wore a homemade aluminum foil pointy hat, hoping to deflect the ignorance permeating the auditorium this night. His story (Senator Hillary Clinton beats economic drum on stump for Obama at rally for change) begins with the old Clintonista slogan, "It's (still) the economy, stupid". The word "stupid" in this sentence apparently describes many of the attendees understanding of basic economics.

Take this unfortunate quote from a 61-year-old Flint Township gentleman: "Hillary did what she's so good at; she talked about this area and how it has been impacted. I don't know how anyone could even think about going with McCain when they live in this community. She reminded people that (the economy) is what it's all about."

With all due respect, sir, but are you the unfortunate gentleman who could not find his way out from the corn patch this past weekend? You've all no doubt heard Albert Einstein's popular definition of insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. I wouldn't be surprised if a dictionary somewhere included a picture of "us" (pick your preference for definition of "us": Flint, Detroit, Michigan, Michael Moore) next to the definition of insanity.

"Clinton, in a speech almost solely dedicated to the economy, said that Michigan, because of its worst-in-the-nation economy, has the greatest stake in a Democratic presidency."

I couldn't agree more, but I'm sure she meant it to be interpreted as "Bush bad", and that somehow Bush and the Republicans are responsible for the economic devastation that is Michigan. Forget the fact that wrongheaded liberal democrat policies have ruined our inner-cities, and conveniently put aside for a moment that our public school system is a national joke. By all means, let's continue to beat our collective "democrat voting," "union loving," and "business chasing" heads against the wall. Maybe we will get a different result. Ya think?

"When her husband was president, I had a jingle in my pocket that hasn't been there since," continued the 61-year-old "brainiac".

Apparently all you have now is a rattle between your ears. Again, the "due respect" thingy (whatever), how is it that Bill Clinton's daily dalliances with a chunky intern in the 90's was responsible for putting a "jingle in your pocket"? Nevermind. Don't answer that, I'll tell you. It was Ronald Reagan's tax cuts and the resulting economic expansion, as well as the Newt Gingrich led Republican House takeover in 1994 that led to your "jingle" sir.

If you are going to vote this November, I believe it is your duty to self-educate beyond your current thin, unthinking, emotion-driven rationale. That goes for all of my fellow Genesee Countians.

Until then, you'll never have the wherewithal to make it out of the corn fields unassisted. In the meantime, maybe we can turn the b.s. from her visit into something useful.

A CORNY SATURDAY

This Halloween, you may want to think twice before entering the local corn maze. Sure, the idea of paying $50 bucks admission for the opportunity to allow your family of 5 to wander aimlessly through fields of vegetation sounds like a bargain at the onset. However, I have found most of these fields to be completely over-picked by October. There's not even any "wind blowns" to munch on like we do at the apple orchard.

Bryn Mickle, Flint Journal police reporter, has done it again with his latest Offbeat: Children in the corn -- Maze prompts 911 call

If you plan on heading out to the Shriners corn maze at Circus Park in Vienna Township,bring some bread crumbs. A family of five made it halfway through the 2.9-mile maze last weekend when they got turned around out at marker 10. With the map no apparent help and the youngest child starting to freak out, the family called out -- to 911. Genesee County Sheriff's deputies quickly tracked them down and led them to safety. Organizers said it was the first time in the maze's two years of operation that anyone has resorted to calling police to get out.

EXCLUSIVE!
Chatteringteeth has the call transcript here:

OPERATOR: 911, what is your emergency?
CALLER: I'm lost in a corn maze and I can't get out!

OPERATOR: Did you get separated from your mommy or daddy little guy?
CALLER: I'm not a "little guy". This is Mr. Jones and I'm here with my wife and three kids.

OPERATOR: ...and you claim to be stuck in a corn maze, yet you figured out how to operate a cell phone?
CALLER: I had a real smart Republican friend of mine program my phone with 911 on speed dial after I locked myself in the family Prius last month. I had to drive to the police station and roll my window down and shout for help that time.

OPERATOR: What is your location sir?
CALLER: The Shriners corn maze at Circus Park!

OPERATOR: SHRINERS!? CIRCUS!? Sir, stay where you are. I don't want to alarm you, but there may be clowns in the area. We will send a SWAT team immediately!

Alternate Universe - 43 President Obamas

Key moments in history, Part 1:

Franklin Delano Roosevelt Pearl Harbor Speech excerpt, December 8, 1941

Yesterday, Dec. 7, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy - the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan... Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger. With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounding determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God. I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, Dec. 7, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire.

If Barack Obama had been president:

"I'd like to address congress regarding Japan's attack, really I would. Maybe I will December 9th... or 10th. Infamy smimfany! As president, "I need to deal with more than one thing at once.”

"As I said before, I think that one of the things we have to determine is how we can be most helpful. It’s my sense that the most helpful thing we can do right now is, uhhhhhhhhh, to let everyone know this is a sufficiently important problem. I can be helpful, and I am prepared to be anywhere, anytime. So, uh, I think the message is, if I can be helpful, I am prepared to be there at any point."

Dramatic Don Pardo announcer voice - "This has been a Key Moment in alternate history - Part 1!"

My advice on the economy with my new Sarah Palin doll

Governor Sarah Palin has Senator John McCain's ear, and I believe I have hers (at least on a subconscious level, channeling my thoughts and advice to her through my new Sarah Palin doll).

Me: "To bail out, or not to bail out. That is the question. Tell McCain to just say no. A trillion dollars in lipstick won't turn this Wall Street pig into a princess, it will just be an additional trillion dollar expense for the taxpayers and a power grab by the left. Let the losers fail. A free market economy left alone is a process of creative destruction. Poor decisions should not be rewarded now. Drill another hole in the leather belt (DRILL HERE, DRILL NOW), cinch it up and let's do this. Tear down this Wall! The American spirit will prevail in short order, if left unhindered by the government. Now what do you have to say Sarah?"

Doll: *silence*

Me: "You won't talk to me? It's the 'other doll', right? Anybody want a slightly used S&M Barbie?"

Today's telepathic poll results: 98.7% of the low income home mortgage holders who took advantage of the loose and non-existant income and credit requirements (thanks Barney Frank and Chris Dodd) to finance their home and now can't pay for it, say Bush is to blame by exerting mind control and forcing them to sign the mortgage papers.

Newt Gingrich to American Solutions members - Kill the Paulson Plan:

What's at stake is two very different futures for America built around two opposing value systems advocated by two coalitions of power.

Down one road is a bureaucratic, insider-dominated system of litigation, regulation, and taxation with government dominance, with slow growth, expensive and scarce energy, and the eventual replacement of the United States by China and India as the world's most advanced and prosperous nations.

Down the other road is a dynamic American economy producing its own energy, independent of dictators, using science and technology to create an exciting future, and continuing its role as the most prosperous and technologically advanced country in the world.

Has Obama made a decision yet, or has he not yet been able to calculate which way the political winds are blowing?

Vote Life - Or else!

Statistics show that 98% of aborted babies would have grown up and been life-long voting Democrats (had their "mom" not had them dismembered with sharp surgical instruments and "shop-vac'd" up, in what should have been the safest place for them in the world). Poll numbers of these aborted fetuses show that 99% of them would now reconsider party affiliation. This poll is now closed. I will no longer be channeling your responses.)

It irritates me to no end that Mass intentions at my church NEVER addresses the horror of abortion for fear of upsetting Catholic Democrats - most likely representing the majority in attendance. This is Davison, Michigan after all, the birthplace of that slovenly propagandist film hack, Michael Moore. Instead, Mass intentions stick to generic and supposedly non-controversial messages, like "Peace on Earth" and "a chicken in every pot", but still manages to do it in such a way as to always give me the impression everyone around me is winking and nodding knowingly for more socialism - as if THAT would help the poor.

But is Nancy Pelosi right in stating that the Church is undecided on this issue? Not according to San Francisco Archbishop Niederauer, who responded to Pelosi that "Authentic moral teaching is based on objective truth, not polling." Melanie Morgan blogs her interpretation: "It turns out that stabbing unborn babies in the head and suctioning out their brains isn't exactly what the Catholic Church has in mind when it teaches its pro-life position."


Me: "Not even hypothetically to an infant Michael Moore?"

Conscience: "Not even."

Me: "Boy, talk about testing one's convictions on a subject."

I guess some Catholics are Democrats because they feel there is some kind of moral equivalence between abortion and - say, tax rates. Government sponsored health care. The freakin' environment. A so-called "unjust war".

Rev. Dwight Longenecker argues that Abortion and the Iraq War Are Not Equivalent.

People of good conscience may be opposed to a war they consider unjust. They may also be opposed to abortion, but to pretend the two are of equal moral culpability in order to justify their support of one particular candidate is irresponsible, untrue, and unjust.

My 8th grader just brought a graded paper home from school. The students were asked to write a paragraph on who they supported for President, and why. My son wrote: "Vote for McCain if you respect human life. Across the country, people are debating about which candidate should be elected as our next President. John McCain fought in Vietnam behind enemy lines, so he has the experience. He also is trying to reverse Roe V. Wade. Finally, he will lower taxes, helping the economy. Therefore, you should vote for McCain."

The teacher attached a sticky note stating, "Like you, I tend to value experience and pro-life philosophy over a handsome face that says little of import."

That made my day. Sending him all the way to Flint to be exposed to teachers with TRUE Catholic values is well worth the tuition.

Good video on this topic via Hot Air.

Obamaville, USA

It sure is different from the brochure.
Town Changes Name To 'Obama'

OLEMA (AP) ― Motorists entering the quaint, woodsy town of Olema near the sea in Marin County may notice a subtle change as they enter: it appears the burg's name has been changed to 'Obama.' Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama supporter and bed and breakfast owner Kelly Emery created a perfect mirror of the green sign people read as they enter the town's limits.'

Wow. Obamaville. Messiahland. TheOne's Town. What would it be like to live there? We have an election in November and we just may find out. This story reminded me of something else...

Tonight's story on The Twilight Zone...
One of my all-time favorite 'Zones is episode 73 from the year of my birth, 1961, titled "It's a Good Life" (yes, I googled. I'm not THAT much of a 'zoner). Billy Mumy, Will Robinson from Lost in Space fame, stars in this one, "as a bored little monster who is terrorizing an entire town. It seems this kid is a freak who has amazing mental powers but lacks the moral development to use it wisely."

"He knows your every thought, can feel your every emotion. He can eliminate all you hold dear. Who is he?"

Plot synopsis from Wiki (kinda. I only CHANGED a little):

Forty-Six-year-old Anthony Fremont Barack Obama looks like any other little boy, liberal democrat but looks are deceiving. He is a monster, a mutant with godlike mental powers.(at least according to his followers) Early on, he isolated the small hamlet of Peaksville, Ohio.Obama, California. In fact, the handful of inhabitants do not even know if he destroyed the rest of the world or if it still exists with his butchering foreign policy of appeasement and surrender and lack of concise decision-making ability . Anthony The Barack has also eliminated electricity, automobiles, and television signals (sounds about right). He controls the weather (unlike Bush, who single-handedly caused Hurricane Katrina) and what supplies can be found in the grocery store. Anthony The Barack creates and destroys as he pleases, and controls when the residents can watch the TV and what they can watch on it. The adults The media tiptoe nervously around him, constantly telling him how everything he does is "good", since displeasing him can get them wished away "to the cornfield" "Fox News", where they are presumably met by a less-than-happy ending...

If Obama wins the election, make sure to think only good thoughts and repeat "That's a real good thing what Barry did!"

"It's good that I have to wait in this healthcare line for 2 1/2 years for my necessary emergency surgery."

"It's good that Barry has left that nasty oil in the ground and has installed worthless windmills in my backyard, and it's good that further regulations and government controls have completely destroyed the economy."

Got one? Finish this sentence...
"It's good that Obama has..."

Snappers TreeTops 2008 a success!

Snappers TreeTops 2008 group photo
I paid the cart boy $5 to take the picture, asking only that he get the fairway logo in the shot. My money is already gone.
What a fantastic golf weekend! Elk Ridge on Thursday, kinda on the way to Gaylord, right? Well, not exactly, but what a worthwhile 30-minute detour. Great weather and awesome course. THEN on to Gaylord to check in at TreeTops. A more motley collection of 28 golfers I have never witnessed. Most had dinner and retired early to be ready for the morning tee. Others chose to play beer and drink cards (or something like that) until 5:30am. Yes, some regretted their decision.

Friday morning tee at the Tradition. ThreeTops (the premier par-3 course) to close the day out.


Saturday was a 36-hole golf marathon extravangaza, with Fazio and Smith on the agenda. Actually ended two holes too soon for some because of darkness. Not soon enough for joints and backs for the gray hairs. I wish I had the foresight to purchase some Aleve stock prior to the trip.

Sunday morning found us at the Masterpiece course (Jones). This is the worst picture ever taken of Michigan's prettiest hole...


And the last hole gallery, quiet and respectful to the approaching golfers as always....



Note to golfers: More pictures (and bigger) will be posted on the Snapper site in a week or so.

So what's been going on in the blogoshere?