The Harry Reid Holiday Prayer

The Harry Reid Holiday Prayer
Dear Gaia, Earth mother and green goddess, She who brings forth the bounteous fruits and flowers and other assorted herbs and hemps which can be harvested, dried, rolled or inserted into my hash pipe and bogarted. Hear the prayers of Your children. Help me find the right words to use in the Obamacare bill that will trick Nelson and them other pro-lifers into falsely believing we won't use tax-payer funds to slaughter unborn children and spread their chattel on the ground to nourish your roots. Please bless your supplicants here and in Copenhagen, and Gaia Damn America! Amen.


This is a matter of life or death. Pray for Senator Nelson. Pray for all of the children whose lives are at stake. Pray for our Nation.

"These are children we are talking about. Therefore, as human persons they are endowed with a fundamental human right to life. They should also be able to exercise the first freedom, the freedom to be born and take their place at our side. Rather, the argument has become profanely “sophisticated”. In an age where sophistry has replaced true discourse, its proponents smile while they defend barbarism."

I stumbled upon the following article linked from HotAir. The author, Dan Calabrese, turns the abortionist's scalpel back onto them with this hillarious piece:

Ben Nelson balks at phony abortion language; now it’s time to abort deformed, unwanted ObamaCare:

Every bill should be a wanted bill. It would be a shame to bring an unwanted bill into the world when you have the option of aborting it.

Call it Planned Legislation.

Monstrosities often collapse under their own absurd weight, and if that’s what’s now happening to ObamaCare – and it certainly appears that it is – it’s all the more delicious that the final nail is Democrats’ absurd attempt to pretend their plan wouldn’t pay for abortions.

Fact: If abortion is legal in this country, and insurance pays for it, and tax money is used to either subsidize or regulate the workings of the health insurance industry, then tax money pays for abortions.

Copenhagen Climate Porn

Porn can be destructive, and not just on the beta and vcr machines over the years. Therefore, I do not condone the repeated viewing of the embedded video showing Copenhagen climate hippies receiving the business ends of the Politi's batons.

Brute Use of Force on Healthy Globe Deniers


favorite scene...
1:05 mark - Pony-tailed dreadlocks dude and a "gentleman?" in a powdered blue michelin man coat he will obviously miss when that pesky climate finally manages to warm.

Nut Crackers Needed at Taunton Schools

2nd-grader sent home for crucifix drawing
TAUNTON, Mass. – An 8-year-old boy was sent home from school and ordered to undergo a psychological evaluation after he was asked to make a Christmas drawing and sketched what appeared to be a stick figure of Jesus on a cross, the child's father said Tuesday.


I agree an injustice has been done here, however it is the so-called art teacher who needs immediate disciplinary action. Has this (tongue twister alert) Taunton teacher not taught the basic principles of scale and depth? Not that the kid doesn't need severe discipline also. The Crucifixion is an Easter story young man! *Ruler Whack on hand*

Tonight the superintendent of Taunton Public Schools, Julie Hackett issued a statement in response to the father's allegations:

"It has been reported in the media that a student was suspended over drawing a rendering of Jesus Christ on the cross. This report is totally inaccurate..." We mistakenly thought the kid had drawn Obama on the cross. When we think "Deity", we think Obama.

“Is this the season of joy or oy?” said Rabbi Alfred Benjamin of Temple Shalom in Milton.

Al Gore and Nano-Frosty

“These figures are fresh. Some of the models suggest... that there is a 75 per cent chance that the entire north polar ice cap, during the summer months, could be completely ice-free within five to seven years.” -- Al Gore

"Five out of four people have trouble with fractions." -- Steven Wright

"Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical." -- Yogi Berra

The good news is, it doesn't take very much polar ice cap to make The World's Smallest Snowman.

Nano-Frosty the 0.001 mm Snowman
With an atomic force microscope
and a button deposited platinum nose
and two eyes made out of focused ion beam coals

Melting Ice Sculpture Proves The Globe Is Warming

Polar Bear in the Square in London and Copenhagen:
This life-sized ice sculpture of a polar bear is sitting in London's Trafalgar Square for the next week. Melting. By the end of its stay, probably all that will be left will be a bronze skeleton and a pool of water.



Not even a corncob pipe and a button nose to prove he once existed. *sigh* BTW, What the heck is sticking out of the bear's mouth? Did it eat Al Gore?

MARKETING IDEA FLASH: That's how these Healthy Globe Deniers could make some money for their fake cause... sell ice sculptures with a prize inside. At the core of one you might get a flanneled Al Gore doll, in another, a cardboard cutout of Obama. Reminds me of the Fuzzy Wuzzy Bath Soap.

Please tell me somebody remembers Fuzzy Wuzzy!

Palin Sees Russia From House, While Kirk Sees Alpha Centauri From Bridge

This made-a-me laffa!

SHOCK POLL: Cardboard Cutout Moves Ahead of Obama in the Polls!

SHOCK POLL: A cardboard cutout of Barack Obama now leads it's flesh and blood counterpart in the latest Chattering Teeth poll by a wide margin! The cardboard cutout first appeared on stage in Oslo, Norway at a "Save the Children" benefit. An event, I might add, that the actual U.S. President snubbed.

Strange Blue Goracle Spiral

Courtesy of Cartman :)

Algorepoetgenic Verbal Warming (and other pieces of temporal magnificents)

I woke up this morning anxious to see what I might have blogged yesterday, only to discover that I never posted. I know I had an unending string of brilliant thoughts fueled by the after-effects of anesthesia for a minor out-patient thingy... I just can't remember what they were. According to my wife, I was like the "is this real life" YouTube kid on his ride home from the dentist.

I'm pretty sure the Michael Jackson Jesus juice - milk of sleepnezia put me on a much higher plain of thought, but alas! these pieces of temporal magnificents have dissipated into the etheral atmospheric vapors alongside Al Gore's poetry.

Speaking of Gore's poetry: You may be one of those Algore poetry deniers, but I assure you - "It's not a question of debate. It's like gravity; it exists."



Some call it "junk poetry", but I call it algorepoetgenic verbal warming.

Vapors rise as
Fever settles on an acid sea

OK, this paints an EXACT word picture of what happens to me after that second bowl of chili. And to think that for a few more uncounted hanging chads, this man could have been our president! *sigh*

At least Vanity Fairs' Mark Hertsgaard gets it!

21 lines of verse that are equal parts beautiful, evocative, and disturbing... It’s odd that none of the reviews of Our Choice have mentioned this poem... The result is a surprisingly accomplished, nuanced piece of writing. The images Gore conjures in his (untitled) poem turn a neat trick: they are visually specific and emotionally arresting even as they are scientifically accurate.

I think Hertsgaard just had a Gore crush leg shiver.

One thin September soon
A floating continent disappears
In midnight sun

OK, I suspect I know who else has been dipping into the demerol. The point is, the beauty of Gore's prose tends to take on a different meaning for all. Like multi-facets of the same diamond. For me, that last verse is a continuation of the chili theme, with "September" symbolizing "bathroom", and my toilet as the "midnight sun". You can figure out the rest.

The shepherd cries
The hour of choosing has arrived
Here are your tools

Tools? Pass the two-ply old growth! (courtesy of dr. hirkimer)


In conclusion, I just found notes of my drug-induced thoughts from yesterday. Huh! I coulda swore I was on to something... but it now eludes me. Here's a sample. It goes on for several pages.

All work and no play makes DaBlade a dull boy. All work and no play makes DaBlade a dull boy.All work and no play makes DaBlade a dull boy.All work and no play makes DaBlade a dull boy.All work and no play makes DaBlade a dull boy.All work and no play makes DaBlade a dull boy...

The Tiger Woods Mistress Fibonacci sequence

The Daily Mirror had the number of Tiger Woods mistresses at six yesterday. I hear it's up to something like 11 right now. I have always thought it to be bad form to count someone else's strokes on the course. However, when Tiger's "score" gets up to here, let me know. An intervention (and a Nike boycott) will be in order.

Christmas trees banned at Copenhagen (along with real science)

Here I am off to Copenhagen, the exciting climate summit that will attempt to blackmail the U.S. into unnecessarily diverting hundreds of billions of dollars to curb harmless carbon gasses. Speaking of gas emissions, PHEW! I'm really sorry people. Airline peanuts always do that to me... Nurse! Can ya get the window? Hey bud, you gonna eat those?



Why am I going to Copenhagen you ask? It just so happens that I was hoping to get hired as a cyclist for the pedal-powered Christmas tree in Copenhagen's City Hall Square. Alas! Now I hear the United Nations has instituted a Climate Summit Christmas Tree ban. It must have just dawned on them that the Christmas tree is a religious symbol that conflicts with their scam religion of global warming. Whenever Obama travels to venues sporting those pesky Christian symbols like crosses, he just has his people cover them up with large drop cloths.

All of the trees have been ordered "de-needled" and immediately rolled into cigarette papers, only to be sold to the masses of arriving hippies for the summit.

Like I've always said, a tree that is soaking up the rain and the sunshine and growing in the field is never truly happy until it is freed from it's condition (with our help and the help of a jagged-toothed saw), tied on the roof of a car (leaking it's sappy life's blood from it's stump) it's lifeless corpse erected in a warm house and decorated with colorful lights and ornaments.

Speaking of hippies and dead trees, the following video can never be blogged too much.

Did Santa Lose His Workshop to Foreclosure?

I may have been born last night, after having fallen off a turnip truck, but I'm smelling something like ozone in Denmark. First, I'm not a big believer in coincidences. Secondly, I have trouble believing in the "occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection." (thanks merriam)

So when I see that Obama met Santa Claus as a preclude to this week's "holiday tree" lighting ceremony on Thursday, and the very next day Santa turns to a life of crime, I have questions!



It is well documented that Obama has an aversion to patriotic lapel pins and was always uncomfortable when our National Anthem is played ("What do I do with my hands?...")

On the other side of the coin (a coin that no longer engraved with "In God we Trust"), Mister Obama has taken every occasion to show his subservience to every Islamic monarch, Japanese emperor, Communist dictator, and third world thug by either enthusiastically bowing to them in surrender, or joining their book club.

Now we enter the Christmas season, and mister Obama reminds us at every occasion that "we are no longer a Christian nation."

Mayor Wiseman says "Obama's speech on Tuesday night on the war in Afghanistan was deliberately timed to block the Christian message of the 'Peanuts' television Christmas special."

If that's not outrageous enough for you, how about the fact that Obama refused to bow to Santa. Not. Once. Is that because Santa is an iconic figure who represents a Christian holiday?

As I've said, I have questions. As far as I know, Bad Santa is armed and dangerous and is still at large.

What we really need are fake jobs (read "green") for fake problems (read "global warming")

I have always lived by this motto: Brevity, that being an economical use of both words and pictures to succinctly illustrate a concept or idea, is the soul, or "essence" if you prefer, of wit, which is to say "humor" of a common sense nature. It reminds me of this Calvin Coolidge quote on the header over at Mr. Dart's place:

"You can't know too much, but you can say too much."

That said, and with as little rhetorical flourish of verboseness as possible, there is nothing in this American Thinker piece titled "Jobs Summit will not produce jobs" that I can paraphrase, blockquote, or in any other fashion give a fair representative sampling that does it justice. You. Must. Read.

After having solved the Afghanistan situation, Obama will now turn his full attention to his most critical objective - That being his tireless efforts on his reelection campaign. Recognizing that Americans are concerned with the economy and the escalating unemployment rate, Obama hopes to raise his poll numbers by giving the impression that he cares with today's jobs summit.

Will Obama try to appease his opponents by announcing a Capitalism Surge and invoke the free market principles of lower taxes and smaller government, only to pull out of capitalism all together in 18 months as a 4th quarter h/t to his base?

With these brainiacs working on the problem, what could possibly go wrong?

Obama's Afghanistan Strategy

OK, this is getting ridiculous. How DO they do it?


OBAMA: "...it is in our vital national interest... After 18 months, our troops will begin to come home."

Obama to Announce Serge Strategy To Appease Base

Obama is angry over his house party security breach. Worst case scenario, the First Teleprompter could have been compromised. The president needs the teleprompter in top condition for his planned speech tonight where, after months of dithering, he will finally lay out his Afghanistan strategy.

Chattering Teeth has learned that Obama will not give General McChrystal all of the 40,000 troops he's requested, but has compromised with a more limited Serge. That's right. All 42 gay art gallery maitre d's named "Serge" will be sent into the Taliban fray.

OK, that was stupid. But I did like that movie.