Monday, December 7, 2009

Christmas trees banned at Copenhagen (along with real science)

Here I am off to Copenhagen, the exciting climate summit that will attempt to blackmail the U.S. into unnecessarily diverting hundreds of billions of dollars to curb harmless carbon gasses. Speaking of gas emissions, PHEW! I'm really sorry people. Airline peanuts always do that to me... Nurse! Can ya get the window? Hey bud, you gonna eat those?

Why am I going to Copenhagen you ask? It just so happens that I was hoping to get hired as a cyclist for the pedal-powered Christmas tree in Copenhagen's City Hall Square. Alas! Now I hear the United Nations has instituted a Climate Summit Christmas Tree ban. It must have just dawned on them that the Christmas tree is a religious symbol that conflicts with their scam religion of global warming. Whenever Obama travels to venues sporting those pesky Christian symbols like crosses, he just has his people cover them up with large drop cloths.

All of the trees have been ordered "de-needled" and immediately rolled into cigarette papers, only to be sold to the masses of arriving hippies for the summit.

Like I've always said, a tree that is soaking up the rain and the sunshine and growing in the field is never truly happy until it is freed from it's condition (with our help and the help of a jagged-toothed saw), tied on the roof of a car (leaking it's sappy life's blood from it's stump) it's lifeless corpse erected in a warm house and decorated with colorful lights and ornaments.

Speaking of hippies and dead trees, the following video can never be blogged too much.


  1. You make me laugh so hard! (very cute picture of your back :-)

    I wish you WERE going to Copenhagen and speaking there...I'd love to hear that!! (that video's a public service)

  2. They are producing as much CO2 as 60 countries combined or 1 large man eating a bag of airline peanuts? I can't remember which.

  3. Who remembers Andre the Giant from the movie Princess Bride? "Anybody want a peanut?"

  4. I would find this whole situation funnier if it weren't for the absolute power these schmucks have over our lives and those of future generations.

    Can't they see how insane this is?

  5. CO2 emissions from 1,200 limos, 140 private planes: OK

    Christmas trees and prostitutes: Not OK

    I don't get these people