Saturday, December 5, 2009

Did Santa Lose His Workshop to Foreclosure?

I may have been born last night, after having fallen off a turnip truck, but I'm smelling something like ozone in Denmark. First, I'm not a big believer in coincidences. Secondly, I have trouble believing in the "occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection." (thanks merriam)

So when I see that Obama met Santa Claus as a preclude to this week's "holiday tree" lighting ceremony on Thursday, and the very next day Santa turns to a life of crime, I have questions!

It is well documented that Obama has an aversion to patriotic lapel pins and was always uncomfortable when our National Anthem is played ("What do I do with my hands?...")

On the other side of the coin (a coin that no longer engraved with "In God we Trust"), Mister Obama has taken every occasion to show his subservience to every Islamic monarch, Japanese emperor, Communist dictator, and third world thug by either enthusiastically bowing to them in surrender, or joining their book club.

Now we enter the Christmas season, and mister Obama reminds us at every occasion that "we are no longer a Christian nation."

Mayor Wiseman says "Obama's speech on Tuesday night on the war in Afghanistan was deliberately timed to block the Christian message of the 'Peanuts' television Christmas special."

If that's not outrageous enough for you, how about the fact that Obama refused to bow to Santa. Not. Once. Is that because Santa is an iconic figure who represents a Christian holiday?

As I've said, I have questions. As far as I know, Bad Santa is armed and dangerous and is still at large.


  1. Nah. It was the unions that did in Santa's workshop. Once the ELF-CIO moved in, the elves were now being paid $50 an hour to do lousy substandard work. Union thugs (usually hired goblins) beat up elves who made the others look bad by daring to assemble toys properly. The ELF-CIO* stole millions of dollars from the workers in order to finance the Presidential campaign of Dennis Kucinich (the only Elf-American currently in the US senate).

    After the union prevented Santa from firing the increasing number of drunken elves and elves who only worked one day out of 10, he had to close the shop.

    The North Pole looks a lot like Flint these days, I hear. A day or two ago, I saw Michael Moore downtown at the "Back Country Outfitters" store buying lots of cold weather gear. I think he's heading north to film his new "Santa and Me" documentary.

    (*ELF-CIO = Elf Labor Federation, Congress of Imp Organizations)

  2. DaBlade, I've heard that before; Do YOU really think Obama planned his normal time for a conference to block the Charley Brown CHRISTMAS?
    Even I don't think THAT (and that's really saying something!!!)
    The guy's given us NO reason to think he's a devout Christian, not even for a second (where DOES he go to church? OH, ya...Camp David, because nobody can see he's not there, right?).....but I can't imagine the WH picking that time for this reason.

  3. Kody- I guess it doesn't matter much WHAT Obama puts on our coins. He will have us bartering chickens again before too long.
    dmarks- Now THIS is a Christmas claymation special I could watch! Until The MM part anyways :)
    Z- I thought that was silly too and just having some fun. I do believe Obama has timed speeches to preempt Rush before though.
    WHT- Santa looks suspicious!

  4. "Kody- I guess it doesn't matter much WHAT Obama puts on our coins. He will have us bartering chickens again before too long."

    That's free-range organic chickens grown only by minority, transgendered, or other disadvantaged-group farmer. The feet of these chickens have a very low carbon footprint, and in fact the carbon-tax is included in the per-pound price. They are delivered to market in Toyota Prius hybrids. Cost? $21 a pound. And that's for the dark meat.

    Oh. I forgot to tell you. Thanks to PETA campaign contributions to Nancy Pelosi's and Filthy Harry's campaigns, the chickens are now required to be delivered to the store live, where they are displayed in comfort.

    You kill them yourself. That is, if you want to face the wrath of the Obama Neighborhood Watch agents who keep an eye on that kind of thing, If you kill any of the chickens, you might end up in UN re-education camps brought up on animal cruelty charges.