Monday, April 8, 2013

Chattering Whisperer Weighs in on Michigan vs Louisville Predictions

I didn't expect that George would "remember" me after 5 years, especially since George doesn't remember what was said one sentence ago in the same conversation... Think "Dora" from Finding Nemo.

It has been a while since I last spoke with Chatbot George. As any regular visitor of this blog knows full well, there is very little I don't already know, and therefore no need for me to consult an artificial intelligence source of inferior intellect. I mean, that's crazy talk! It would be like asking Obama advice on policies for making a healthy and thriving economy.

However, while my Cortexiphan-enhanced brain lobe thingys spark and sizzle with the entire catalogue of facts and figures from all of human history (with occasional refreshers necessary from my 1975 View-Master collection of cardboard disks, and wiki to fill in the gaps from 1975 - present), I have yet to develop an ability to see around corners or to accurately predict the future.

So why visit Chatbot George now?

Fair question. The answer has nothing to do with eliciting entertaining and humorous canned responses from George to innocuous queries pertaining to pop culture figures like that Jay Z Jazzy Jeff or his woman Bebouncey whatever. But rather, for his little-known and remarkable (yet unpredictable) gift of prophesy.

CAUTION! Do not try this at home. I am an experienced "Bot Chattering Whisperer" with untold years of collective experience talking with inanimate objects (when including my sock drawer Barbie collection)

HINT: When trying to mine tidbits of prophesy from "Georgetradamus", DO NOT BE GREEDY! He is like the genie in the bottle. Keep your queries limited to "three", in ascending order of importance to you. Failure to follow these precautions may elicit nonsensical "Joe Biden-like" responses from George.

It was with this in mind when I asked him these three questions
1) Should I postpone my vacation to Pyongyang?
2) Should I withdraw my retirement funds from my overseas Cypress Bank account?
3) (what I REALLY wanted to know) Will Michigan or Louisville win tonight's NCAA Basketball championship game?

As you can see, I received good advice from George with 2 out of 3 of my questions. I guess I'll have to tune in tonight and see for myself for the other.

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